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Letter to the other me: From a destitute Lover

Letter to the other me: From a destitute Lover

My Marie,

I have a strange wish today. I was awake last night writing this letter to you, but today, I wish I do not have to give you this letter ever.

This could be my message in a bottle. Years later, when I am long gone, you could find this somewhere hidden in your closet. I have these things that I need to tell you, but for some reason, I also have nothing to say to you anymore.

For the last few days, we haven’t spoken to one another. You ask me to speak. I am strong, Marie. I usually feel extremely strong deep inside, and I have lots to say. But today I am feeling very tired. What can I say, M? There is little left for me to say.

You were nineteen when we first met. I was a few years older. You were a girl fresh in college. I know I was your first and only true love. It hasn’t been that long, has it? Perhaps you’d remember, I was a broken man when I met you. I had lost everything – love, my ability to make decisions, all of my self-confidence and self-respect. I really did not know what you saw in me Marie, when you fell in love.

I did not think I deserved you. I thought if someone would ever fall in love with me, that would be out of pity. I Honesty did not think I could ever be loved again so unconditionally.

You made me feel like never before. You didn’t know it, you were just happy that I loved you, but as you arranged that broken jigsaw puzzle, you made a beautiful picture out of me. Your love made me whole that day, M. You would not understand this, but for a person who had once lost everything there is no greater gift!! I must have told you a million times, I thank God every day for you, every morning when I wake up when I am away from you, that’s what I do. Trust me, Marie, I have never taken you for granted.

Even as I write this letter there are so many things that happened today which I just have to tell you! But I am scared now Marie.

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I have come a long way holding your hands. I am not a person who thinks I could have done it by myself. It was always you, M. But things are different today. Today you see me with these accolades and you start comparing how much I have achieved against what you have lost.

That hurts. You know why? Every time I achieved something the real joy was to be able to share that with you, to be able to see that pride for me in your eyes. There was nothing greater than to feel that someone like you thinks about me every day and feels proud to be with me!! I have no success outside of you, M.

Letter to the other me

    We are a team M, I always thought we were that team which no one can defeat. I always felt we are this one big blob of one person with two bodies. Like a boy who comes running to his mother, I come running to you to tell you, so you will feel proud of me!!

    I really feel proud of every achievement you have in your own profession, Marie. When you achieve something, I do not feel happy for you, I feel happy for myself. I see My baby girl waving at me…there is a part of me which wins every time you win, and I really thought that’s how you felt, too.

    You think all this is my success? I never told you, but I have just one achievement – and that is you! All the others were just to impress you.

    Today you compare and tell me how you have achieved less because of me. You think I am standing in the way of your success? Really, M? Was it wrong of me to feel that we were one? Was it always a comparison for you between how much you can achieve and how much I have?

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    Who can doubt that you could be successful in your career? When did I ever doubt that? When did I ever doubt that you could soar if you wanted? Do I need a letter to tell you that? That hurts, you know. It is a line of thought I could never have imagined coming from you. It really really pains inside!!

    As I write I’m having this heavy feeling inside…when you read this perhaps you will feel I am using mere words to convince you, to justify my own demands. It’s painful to think that you may feel that way.

    I really feel sad about being professionally successful today, M – because had I not, perhaps you would have stayed with me, and not ripped yourself apart to compare. We could have been that happy couple in a small apartment, and I would have been happy with you, M, instead of two different people living in a mansion.

    I was always so confident about us, and today I feel so naïve.

    When you tear yourself apart from me and show me how much you had to sacrifice to make me successful I stand spellbound.  We are family. Does this not mean that we stay together all the time? Am I missing something? Am I too ambitious for you? What can I do, Marie? What else do you need me to do? How have I not supported you all these years? I could not have told you this if it not was for this letter.

    And I did not support you because of you wanted that. I did it because we wanted that, it was always us. So many people have asked about my plans in life and why we are not together. Without exception, I stood for you, every time. I did not even tell you because I always felt our time will come.

    I always believed our equation is different. What we have, Gods Envy!

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    I am proud of you M. I always have been. I have no doubt you would succeed in whatever you do in life, with or without me. I hope you know that I never doubted that.

    But you are my other me, Marie. You are a part of me. If you do leave on your quest for success it will break me forever again. I would return to being a no one like before.

    I don’t know if these words mean anything to you now, but let me say it anyway. All these years you have been busy with your career and I have been with mine, but I was happy inside. Because I knew someday we will be together again. I hoped for us being a family – for almost a decade I felt that. And today you want to compare achievements.

    I am not a stupid guy, Marie. I know what you feel. I have seen this feeling in so many people. I just did not think you could feel this about us. So naïve of me.

    I have never stopped you for anything, and I have always expressed what I felt. If you really want just professional success you will have it, Marie. But if you rip yourself off from me and head out to your true calling, I know one day you will be scared, M, and I feel scared thinking about that day. I know one day my Marie will be alone and look for me with longing eyes and I may be far far away from her. I really love you more than to bear that thought.

    I am scared for myself too because I know I will be shattered here. You will be victorious, Marie, but will we be victorious? Perhaps you compare our relationship with those of other people. I never did. I could not even begin to do that.

    You tell me I would not understand about your profession. I know a thing or two about success Marie, and I know about achieving. I just did not think that for us, you and I were any different. It was always our success!

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    I can fight against the whole world for you Marie, and if you are by my side, I will win every battle for you! I just cannot fight with you. I just won’t be strong enough. I wish we met in a different time, M. We would have been happier.

    I do not know how to end this letter, M. Just stay with me, okay? Will my love be enough for you?

    Yours forever.

    PS: I love you. And the other night, that call was from me. Just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.

    Featured photo credit: Captain D via thesoulcreator.com

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    Last Updated on January 17, 2019

    8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

    8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

    In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

    Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

    Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

    Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

    Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

    The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

    There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

    How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

    According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

    Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

    Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

    The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

    Listen carefully:

    We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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    The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

    Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

    8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

    There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

    Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

    1. Pray Daily

    You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

    When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

    Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

    Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

    2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

    A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

    By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

    Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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    If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

    This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

    How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

    3. Smile Often

    Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

    Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

    Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

    The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

    4. Organize Your Working Desk

    A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

    When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

    Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

    Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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    5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

    I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

    Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

    What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

    6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

    God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

    I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

    I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

    7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

    You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

    How do you do that? This is my formula:

    First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

    If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

    If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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    If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

    Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

    8. Go Exercise

    Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

    The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

    You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

    12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

    The Bottom Line

    It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

    It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

    Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

    More Resources About Mindfulness

    Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

    Reference

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