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To Reach Your Goals, Start With Planning For The Worst

To Reach Your Goals, Start With Planning For The Worst

To reach your goals you need determination, a positive attitude, and an absolute belief that you can achieve what you want. However, another important factor is to prepare for bumps in the road, obstacles and interruptions that could potentially crop up on your quest for achievement.

This may seem like a pessimistic mindset – after all, aren’t we meant to have an unwavering belief that we can attain what we want no matter what? Well actually it’s an important element in achieving success. We will undoubtedly come across challenges enough to make us wonder if we’re able to achieve our goal at all. But with a plan in place, these challenges can be fought and overcome much more easily making that road to success a much less bumpy one. Preparing for the worst can give us a sense of security and lessens the fears and anxieties that can naturally surface on the journey.

80% Positive Energy, 20% Worry

Let’s face it, even the most ambitious of us still get niggling doubts of worry. When it comes to achieving our goals, fear manifested as worry is the number one blocker to many people even contemplating going after their dreams. When we enter the journey we feel vulnerable to failure and much of the time we are spending most of our precious energy on worrying.

By preparing for the worst, you can reach your goals much more smoothly and you can put more of your energy in having a positive attitude knowing that you’ve covered any eventualities and lessening the negative chatter in your head. By doing this you naturally create a smaller percentage of time thinking and fearing obstacles because you already have a plan in place.

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Misconceptions Around Preparing For The Worst

By their very nature, goals aren’t always easy and straight-forward to achieve. This is so strong that many don’t even try or just believe their goals are unattainable. Many also believe that preparing for the worst is some sort of excuse lurking in the back of the mind telling you that it can’t really happen. But actually it’s the opposite of that – it’s a very smart move.

Our happiness and emotional well-being is sometimes overlooked when we try to reach our goals. We focus on the end result adding to our happiness but the journey along the way shouldn’t compromise this. Preparing for eventualities can be thought of as a safety net for our emotional well-being. When we suffer setbacks and failures we are understandably brought down and it’s these instances that can stop us from carrying on altogether.

When we prepare for the worst, we are actually clearing our worries and calming our emotions which, in the long run, will be greatly beneficial to accomplishing our goals.

How To Effectively Prepare For The Worst To Reach Your Goals

It’s all about planning ahead. Sometimes it can be hard to evaluate all eventualities but if you get the basics down you’re half way there. With any situation in life where we put ourselves out there, there is a chance we could fall. It’s the excitement of life but also creates fear in most of us.

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Whatever your dream or goal is, make time to sit and think about possible scenarios. Money, for example is a big factor when it comes to whether or not we even start going for our dreams. The worry of money, or lack of, is a big one. Say you’ve decided to give up your boring desk job to chase after your dream career. This could pose a big risk around money and even threatens to run out if it takes longer than expected. So put aside money any way you can and ask yourself questions like whether you would need to move to a cheaper place? If so, where could you potentially move to? Are there people you could move in with if you needed to? Could you get a loan from the bank? If so, look into different types of loans to see if any would suit you.

If you couldn’t reach your goal, what would you want to do instead? What alternatives are there that would equally make you happy? If you wanted to become a writer, could you go into teaching instead? Or maybe even go back to studying? Perhaps start your own business? Having options helps calm your mind and allow you to not fear difficult situations. It also gives you hope that if you don’t end up achieving your goal, other options are equally as good.

So remember, preparing for the worst will actually allow you to achieve your goals much more easily and eliminate bumps that, if unprepared for, could cause you to give up altogether.

I’ll leave you with a great quote by the late American author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar. “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalise on what comes.” In other words, don’t fear the obstacles – plan for them and make use of them when they come. That way, you will gain a sense of achievement either way.

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Jenny Marchal

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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