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To Reach Your Goals, Start With Planning For The Worst

To Reach Your Goals, Start With Planning For The Worst

To reach your goals you need determination, a positive attitude, and an absolute belief that you can achieve what you want. However, another important factor is to prepare for bumps in the road, obstacles and interruptions that could potentially crop up on your quest for achievement.

This may seem like a pessimistic mindset – after all, aren’t we meant to have an unwavering belief that we can attain what we want no matter what? Well actually it’s an important element in achieving success. We will undoubtedly come across challenges enough to make us wonder if we’re able to achieve our goal at all. But with a plan in place, these challenges can be fought and overcome much more easily making that road to success a much less bumpy one. Preparing for the worst can give us a sense of security and lessens the fears and anxieties that can naturally surface on the journey.

80% Positive Energy, 20% Worry

Let’s face it, even the most ambitious of us still get niggling doubts of worry. When it comes to achieving our goals, fear manifested as worry is the number one blocker to many people even contemplating going after their dreams. When we enter the journey we feel vulnerable to failure and much of the time we are spending most of our precious energy on worrying.

By preparing for the worst, you can reach your goals much more smoothly and you can put more of your energy in having a positive attitude knowing that you’ve covered any eventualities and lessening the negative chatter in your head. By doing this you naturally create a smaller percentage of time thinking and fearing obstacles because you already have a plan in place.

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Misconceptions Around Preparing For The Worst

By their very nature, goals aren’t always easy and straight-forward to achieve. This is so strong that many don’t even try or just believe their goals are unattainable. Many also believe that preparing for the worst is some sort of excuse lurking in the back of the mind telling you that it can’t really happen. But actually it’s the opposite of that – it’s a very smart move.

Our happiness and emotional well-being is sometimes overlooked when we try to reach our goals. We focus on the end result adding to our happiness but the journey along the way shouldn’t compromise this. Preparing for eventualities can be thought of as a safety net for our emotional well-being. When we suffer setbacks and failures we are understandably brought down and it’s these instances that can stop us from carrying on altogether.

When we prepare for the worst, we are actually clearing our worries and calming our emotions which, in the long run, will be greatly beneficial to accomplishing our goals.

How To Effectively Prepare For The Worst To Reach Your Goals

It’s all about planning ahead. Sometimes it can be hard to evaluate all eventualities but if you get the basics down you’re half way there. With any situation in life where we put ourselves out there, there is a chance we could fall. It’s the excitement of life but also creates fear in most of us.

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Whatever your dream or goal is, make time to sit and think about possible scenarios. Money, for example is a big factor when it comes to whether or not we even start going for our dreams. The worry of money, or lack of, is a big one. Say you’ve decided to give up your boring desk job to chase after your dream career. This could pose a big risk around money and even threatens to run out if it takes longer than expected. So put aside money any way you can and ask yourself questions like whether you would need to move to a cheaper place? If so, where could you potentially move to? Are there people you could move in with if you needed to? Could you get a loan from the bank? If so, look into different types of loans to see if any would suit you.

If you couldn’t reach your goal, what would you want to do instead? What alternatives are there that would equally make you happy? If you wanted to become a writer, could you go into teaching instead? Or maybe even go back to studying? Perhaps start your own business? Having options helps calm your mind and allow you to not fear difficult situations. It also gives you hope that if you don’t end up achieving your goal, other options are equally as good.

So remember, preparing for the worst will actually allow you to achieve your goals much more easily and eliminate bumps that, if unprepared for, could cause you to give up altogether.

I’ll leave you with a great quote by the late American author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar. “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalise on what comes.” In other words, don’t fear the obstacles – plan for them and make use of them when they come. That way, you will gain a sense of achievement either way.

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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