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10 Tips to Encourage Fathers to Become Better Dads

10 Tips to Encourage Fathers to Become Better Dads

Each day, men are becoming fathers in a society that has shifted focus from a woman being the primary caretaker, to co-parenting. When fathers take a more active role in their child’s life, it is not only more fulfilling for the parent, but the child will benefit as well.

1. Have Meals Together

It does not matter which meal it is, but part of a healthy family life lies in sharing meals. It provides structure on days that are busy. This time also facilitates communication between the family. The children and parents can discuss what they are doing and what they would like to do.

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2. Provide Your Kids With a Lifelong Self-worth

Whether you realize it or not, you are a role model for your child. A father can show a daughter how she ought to be treated and respected by a man, and a father can show his son how he should act with humility, honesty, and responsibility.

3. Instill in Your Children a Love for Reading

It is obvious that television and other technology dominates our lives every single day. Taking the time to read to your child will instill a love for reading, and this will carry on through their life to ensure growth. Read to them when they are young, and encourage them to read when they are able to on their own.

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4. Listen!

When a child has something that they would like to say, always listen. If you continuously tell them that they need to hold on, they will learn that is an acceptable answer to tell someone as they grow up. Put down the smart phone or laptop and engage in a conversation with them.

5. Spend Time with Your Children Doing Fun Things

This is not as easy as it may sound. If you are unable to make time for the kids, they will feel neglected. You will need to make sacrifices sometimes, but once time is lost, you can’t go back. A great way to enjoy time together is to plan fun outdoor activities, like hunting or fishing.

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6. It’s OK to Show Your Tender Side

Children need to be shown that they are loved, wanted, and accepted by their family. Hug your children, kiss them goodnight – just take a moment out of your day to show them how much they mean to you, even if it is just a small gesture.

7. Display Integrity

Be the same father in public that you are behind closed doors. If you make promise upon promise all week about having fun on the weekend, but never pull through, your children will start to see the transparency of what you are saying. Keep your promises and practice what you preach.

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8. Discipline Equates Character Development, Not Anger

It is inevitable that a child will need discipline in their lifetime, but often times, one common mistake that parents make is that their anger overshadows the lesson that should be taught. Discipline out of love while being fair. Remind them that actions have consequences, but desirable behavior comes with rewards.

9. Communicate as a Family

Don’t underestimate the power of positive words. When problems arise regarding the child, be sure to include the child in the conversation. When they know that the family is one united unit, they will feel more secure. This will also help to build trust within the parent-child relationship.

10. Always Remember that Being a Father is a Permanent Job

Even when the children are grown up and are leaving home, they will still look to you for advice and wisdom. You will always be an indispensable part of their life, with the ability to provide a model for how they should live as responsible adults.

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Sasha Brown

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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