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Stop Adding Stuff To Your Life, It’s Time To Declutter Your Soul Now

Stop Adding Stuff To Your Life, It’s Time To Declutter Your Soul Now

We live in a society that always tells us to get more.

You may be doing this unconsciously, because you’ve always been living this way and that’s your environment.

You’re buying more stuff, which you then need to take care of and fix. You make more friends, but that doesn’t mean you spend time with quality people who lift you up. You consume a lot of information daily, but most of it has nothing to do with your life and goals, and only brings you stress and worries. You add more tasks to your to-do list all the time, but most often you’re just keeping yourself busy, and still not getting the important things done.

Such life is complex. And this complexity makes us overthink, doesn’t let us fall asleep fast, makes us anxious because we are in a rush all the time and try to stay up-to-date.

It’s time to stop doing that.

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Simpler is better. Less is what you need more of and it’s the power of eliminating the unnecessary that will let you find more meaning in your days and more happiness in your soul.

Here are some little changes you can make to your lifestyle today that will help you declutter:

1. Analyze how you spend your time and remove unproductive activities.

Keep track of how you spend your time over the course of a few days. Write down everything you do. Then, review these and see what doesn’t give you any results, doesn’t make you happy or help you improve in any way. It’s just pointless to keep doing it.

You may be amazed at how many unproductive things you’re doing daily, without even realizing. That’s why you’ll need to track and review this weekly, to make sure you don’t fall into that trap again.

Soon, you’ll see less events in your calendar, less tasks on your to-do list and more time for the important things.

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2. Get rid of belongings you don’t use.

Now let’s move onto the belongings you have.

Be honest with yourself and say what you haven’t used in the last 6 months or so. It doesn’t really matter how precious you think it is, it only takes up space.

If you don’t take control of such possessions, you’ll end up living in the prison of your past, feeling nostalgic every time you look at these objects, and not having the chance to let go. So be ruthless. Give away stuff, sell it, and throw away the rest.

You’re better off without all that burden. Your future self will thank you for doing that, plus it’s a big step of your spiritual journey. You’ll now have more peace of mind, will feel freer than ever and ready to actually go after your goals in life.

3. Keep negativity away.

It’s time to clear your mind now. Negative thoughts don’t have any place there, especially if you want to change yourself and turn your whole life around.

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Start small. Notice the negativity in your mind and soul, recognize it, observe it and try to see what causes it. You may journal your thoughts to see some occurring themes. Maybe you’re negative after communicating with someone from your surroundings, or every day after doing a certain thing, or else.

Then, you’ll simply need to remove that or stop doing it to overcome that mental habit.

After that you can start taking charge of what goes in your mind. When you see a negative thought popping up, stop, say no and replace it with a positive one instead.

4. Keep things organized.

Find a place for everything in your home and office and keep it there. When you take it, put it back there.

A simple habit like that is the foundation of your personal organization skills. It will save you a lot of time and worries, you won’t forget where things are and will see a decluttered room and desk every time you enter.

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5. Stop saying yes to everything.

Our time is limited. We only have 24 hours in a day. And if we want to work on the things we believe in, but to also have time to rest, have fun and be with our loved ones, we’ll need to prioritize. Stop accepting every proposal you get, don’t start new projects every week, don’t set many goals at once and avoid working on more than one thing at a time.

All this will improve your performance and help you exceed in life, as you’ll only be working on the things that actually matter. You’ll also be happier and will prevent burnout. Adding stuff is never the answer. To get back to your path in life, to see clearly where you’re going and to start having fun and be calm again, you’ll need to remove anything that’s not essential.

Keep only what’s important to you. There’s no time for the rest.

What else can you eliminate today to declutter your soul?

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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