Advertising

11 Reasons Friends Who Grew Up With You Will Stay With You Forever

Advertising
11 Reasons Friends Who Grew Up With You Will Stay With You Forever

There is something particularly special about the kind of friends you have known forever. There is an exceptional bond that is formed over time, one which creates the kind of relationship that can only come from the a life spent alongside each other. You might have your good and bad patches, you might even fall out with each other from time to time, but just like a brother or a sister you have to admit that friends who grew up together have got something pretty magical. They don’t have to live in the house next door, but there are a lot of reasons why they remain close to your heart.

  1. You trust each other more than anyone, because they are like family.
    As the saying goes, you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends. The only other people who know you as well as your family are the friends you choose. So in this sense, your lifelong friends become your family.
  1. They know your biggest secrets.
    You’re their number one confidante. And they are yours. Because you trust them like family, and because you have shared so       much life together, they know your heart. And you trust them with it.
  1. You had all your ‘firsts’ together
    Friends who grew up together got to experience so many new things together! Your first day of school, your first date, your first kiss! These are memories that only your lifelong friends share with you. No one else has the same kind of special history as this.
  2. You know what each other needs
    Like family, you don’t just know each other you know what is best for each other. And you want it for each other, no matter what.
  3. You don’t need words to communicate
    When things happen, you don’t need to tell them how you’re feeling. They have known you long enough, and know you well enough, to know what to do in certain situations. When tragedy strikes, somehow you know you don’t need to ask them to come. You know they will be at your door just as soon as they can.
  4. The reasons that you became friends always remain
    You picked each other for a reason. Maybe it’s because they make you laugh until you cry, or maybe it is because they stood up for you when no one else did. Whatever the reason, you’ve got each others backs, and the fundamental reasons you found each other will always be there.
  5. They were there for all the big events growing up and they will be there for all the big events in the future
    They were there when your Grandma died, when you graduated, when your dad remarried. They were there by your side for all those enormous moments of your formative years, and so its extra important that they be there for all the ones that are still yet to happen.
  6. You can share your history together
    One of the greatest joys in life is sitting with an old friend and reminiscing about the ‘good old days’. It’s very special having a friend that you love and trust to help you sift through beautiful memories, and laugh together about moments both good and bad.
  7. They are one of few people in your life you will have this kind of relationship and connection with
    There is a lot to be said for a friendship of this caliber. There is so much history and care and time invested, it is a rare and special gift to have such a thing with another person, and good friends recognize this in each other.
  8. They are a continuous (and trusted) source of learning
    It is not only our similarities that see a deep friendship flourish, but our differences as well. Our long-term friendships will inevitably experience times of change, and it encourages us to learn from each other and support each other during these moments of learning.
  9. They know who you are because they know who you were
    Your pasts can help determine the strength of your future. Having someone to walk through this life with you is golden — having someone who knows your entire journey, is priceless.

More by this author

What Your Coffee Preferences Say About Your Personality You Are Never Too Old To Set Another Goal or To Dream A New Dream The Real Reason Why Most People Cannot Achieve Their Goals 25+ Quotes That Bring You Inner Peace To Face With Every Challenge What Is Lactose Intolerance And What To Do If You Have It

Trending in Communication

1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

Advertising
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

Advertising

But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

Advertising

Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next