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Why Mentally Strong People Seldom Respond To An Insult

Why Mentally Strong People Seldom Respond To An Insult

A look around, and you realize the world has suddenly become a place where people are there only to fight and argue with each other, be judgmental, and overall negative. You see how people on social media and in real life try to force their opinion on others while always criticizing them. It’s like we’ve all witnessed people breaking into huge fights over social media and a sudden growth of intolerance among people.

However, when we think about people bad-mouthing others or making them feel inferior, we realize, those, with an educated mindset, seldom respond to whatever people say to them. You might often think how people can be so calm and wise to never get bothered by what people think about them and how they just keep on being their amazing selves. Here are a few reasons shared by some of the most mentally strong and stable people, about why they don’t respond to hateful slurs.

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Silence Is Indeed The Best Answer:

Most people often seem to be more interested in pinpointing what you’re doing wrong and how you need to change things. However, there also are individuals who choose to turn a deaf ear towards such negativity. Why? Because they believe people are always on the lookout to find a reason through which they can feel better by giving their insecurities a voice. Such people can never be happy with your success or achievement because they, themselves, were unable to be at your level or have faced failure, at some point, when you didn’t. To be honest, it isn’t even their fault that they are never happy with what you achieve, so it’s best to leave them be. Are you aware of how people laughed at Edison’s initial phonograph invention? Had he paid any attention to their negativity, he wouldn’t have been able to come up with any of his breakthroughs and wouldnt have gotten so many inventions patented to his name. Whatever good or bad you do, people will judge you and not responding to their pessimism will save your time and energy which you can use elsewhere.

Because It’s Just Their Opinion:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so, if someone criticizes you it’s what they believe or how they perceive things. You can’t really change that, can you? People who are emotionally and mentally strong don’t take anything as an insult because it’s just someone’s opinion and it can be good or bad. Just like you would be happy to receive positive feedback, overthinking about people’s negative remarks will only make things harder for you. Focus on people who are kind with their words, as for criticism, you should handle that gracefully. The thought process of negative people who are always criticizing others is mostly irrational and illogical, and responding to such unreasonable opinion and behavior will only lead to distracting you from acheiving your ultimate goals in life.

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They Win With Goodness:

While some people’s hobby is to spew hatred and create discomfort in the lives of others, there are also people who respond to their unreasonable attitude with generosity. They do so because they want to end complexity in their’s and the toxic individual’s life. The more you let hatred grow, the more you complicate your life. Your goodness might neutralize their obnoxiousness and force them to change their hateful opinion about you.

Their Health And Happiness Surpasses All:

You can’t always battle the negative impact of people’s unconstructive tirades. But, for people, who want to perform well in their lives and live happily, their physical, mental and emotional well-being is of crucial importance. We know how vocal slurs can leave a lasting impression on our minds and personalities causing people to be stressed, depressed and anxious but it only makes one vulnerable to a number of health risks. Depression and stress can cause irreversible damage to a person’s personality, affecting his/hers performance and happiness. If you’ve noticed people who rarely respond to affronts are relatively happier and healthier in life as compared to those who always end up in an argument with their haters. You should remember that while you may not have control over people’s opinion, you have control over your own emotions and you can eliminate forces that strive hard to rob you off of your peace of mind, joy and success. If your happiness and sadness are based on the opinions of others then you can never be satisfied or let alone, be happy with what you have.

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They Look For Solutions:

We are not here to please everyone; you can never be good or bad enough for someone. People with mental and emotional strength don’t drag themselves into problems, they look for solutions. Interacting with discouraging people and putting all your attention to their words and actions will only give that hatred fillied individual more power over you which in turn creates hurdles for you. If you want to improve your performance and bring peace to your life, your main focus shouldn’t be on what they say, just find a solution to handle them in a dignified manner.

The only person, who should be making any decisions for your life, should be you. It’s never wise to react to an insult and the wisest way to respond to something negative is to simply ignore it. People who make you feel bad about yourself are just people like you and what they think and say is not a word of God, so in this case, ignorance certainly is bliss.

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Featured photo credit: Thomas Hawk via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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