Advertising
Advertising

Why Mentally Strong People Seldom Respond To An Insult

Why Mentally Strong People Seldom Respond To An Insult

A look around, and you realize the world has suddenly become a place where people are there only to fight and argue with each other, be judgmental, and overall negative. You see how people on social media and in real life try to force their opinion on others while always criticizing them. It’s like we’ve all witnessed people breaking into huge fights over social media and a sudden growth of intolerance among people.

However, when we think about people bad-mouthing others or making them feel inferior, we realize, those, with an educated mindset, seldom respond to whatever people say to them. You might often think how people can be so calm and wise to never get bothered by what people think about them and how they just keep on being their amazing selves. Here are a few reasons shared by some of the most mentally strong and stable people, about why they don’t respond to hateful slurs.

Advertising

Silence Is Indeed The Best Answer:

Most people often seem to be more interested in pinpointing what you’re doing wrong and how you need to change things. However, there also are individuals who choose to turn a deaf ear towards such negativity. Why? Because they believe people are always on the lookout to find a reason through which they can feel better by giving their insecurities a voice. Such people can never be happy with your success or achievement because they, themselves, were unable to be at your level or have faced failure, at some point, when you didn’t. To be honest, it isn’t even their fault that they are never happy with what you achieve, so it’s best to leave them be. Are you aware of how people laughed at Edison’s initial phonograph invention? Had he paid any attention to their negativity, he wouldn’t have been able to come up with any of his breakthroughs and wouldnt have gotten so many inventions patented to his name. Whatever good or bad you do, people will judge you and not responding to their pessimism will save your time and energy which you can use elsewhere.

Because It’s Just Their Opinion:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so, if someone criticizes you it’s what they believe or how they perceive things. You can’t really change that, can you? People who are emotionally and mentally strong don’t take anything as an insult because it’s just someone’s opinion and it can be good or bad. Just like you would be happy to receive positive feedback, overthinking about people’s negative remarks will only make things harder for you. Focus on people who are kind with their words, as for criticism, you should handle that gracefully. The thought process of negative people who are always criticizing others is mostly irrational and illogical, and responding to such unreasonable opinion and behavior will only lead to distracting you from acheiving your ultimate goals in life.

Advertising

They Win With Goodness:

While some people’s hobby is to spew hatred and create discomfort in the lives of others, there are also people who respond to their unreasonable attitude with generosity. They do so because they want to end complexity in their’s and the toxic individual’s life. The more you let hatred grow, the more you complicate your life. Your goodness might neutralize their obnoxiousness and force them to change their hateful opinion about you.

Their Health And Happiness Surpasses All:

You can’t always battle the negative impact of people’s unconstructive tirades. But, for people, who want to perform well in their lives and live happily, their physical, mental and emotional well-being is of crucial importance. We know how vocal slurs can leave a lasting impression on our minds and personalities causing people to be stressed, depressed and anxious but it only makes one vulnerable to a number of health risks. Depression and stress can cause irreversible damage to a person’s personality, affecting his/hers performance and happiness. If you’ve noticed people who rarely respond to affronts are relatively happier and healthier in life as compared to those who always end up in an argument with their haters. You should remember that while you may not have control over people’s opinion, you have control over your own emotions and you can eliminate forces that strive hard to rob you off of your peace of mind, joy and success. If your happiness and sadness are based on the opinions of others then you can never be satisfied or let alone, be happy with what you have.

Advertising

They Look For Solutions:

We are not here to please everyone; you can never be good or bad enough for someone. People with mental and emotional strength don’t drag themselves into problems, they look for solutions. Interacting with discouraging people and putting all your attention to their words and actions will only give that hatred fillied individual more power over you which in turn creates hurdles for you. If you want to improve your performance and bring peace to your life, your main focus shouldn’t be on what they say, just find a solution to handle them in a dignified manner.

The only person, who should be making any decisions for your life, should be you. It’s never wise to react to an insult and the wisest way to respond to something negative is to simply ignore it. People who make you feel bad about yourself are just people like you and what they think and say is not a word of God, so in this case, ignorance certainly is bliss.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Thomas Hawk via flickr.com

More by this author

Why Mentally Strong People Seldom Respond To An Insult

Trending in Communication

1 How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward 2 What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships 3 How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence 4 This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need 5 What You Really Need to Feel Secure in a Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

Advertising

Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Advertising

1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

Advertising

5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

Advertising

If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next