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4 Good Reasons Why Newlyweds Should Move

4 Good Reasons Why Newlyweds Should Move

For newlyweds and those who are engaged, it will be to your advantage to look for your new place together — away from the comforts of either of your parents. Now, understandably, this may not be your first thought. However, it is well worth considering. Moving away from the parents can be a really good thing as you embark on the next phase of your life together.

The keyword here is together. You are about to begin a journey that will have many ups and downs, as you well know. This new chapter in your life’s book will have wonderful untold adventures — new job opportunities, new pets, new friends, maybe even children. Your new journey needs to really focus on your new family — the two of you (or, if either of you already have children, all of you). Not to exclude your parents or your in-laws, but your “family” will now consist of who lives under the roof of your new home. Your extended family, though involved and supportive, is not your immediate family.

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Many newlyweds and couples simply struggle with separation from their extended family. This is especially true if you grew up in the south, where families are so important. However, separation from your family should include distance. This helps in so many ways, but is sometimes easier said than done. Once you rely on either set of your parents for financial assistance, for help with a disagreement, or just get too comfortable with them coming over, it becomes a scene from Everybody Love’s Raymond — and that isn’t pretty!

Boundaries are blurred, privacy is out the door, and the bond between husband and wife is not as tight as it should be. Countless experts will tell you that it is vital for a couple to have that time to really be together.

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Below are a few benefits from moving away from both of your families once you decide to live happily ever after:

1. Your parents will see you as independent.

Once you get married, those ties and bonds to your parents are still very much the same. However, if you put some distance between you, there is something amazing that happens: you begin to “grow up” in their eyes. They begin to see you more as equals instead of someone who really depends on them for everything.

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2. You can begin your new life by making new friends together.

Making friends together is a wonderful chance to really grow as a couple. When you move away from home, you are able to meet new neighbors and people in the community you would not have otherwise had the opportunity to meet. You are really beginning a new life together! This does not mean that you ignore those former relationships, but you are growing your sphere of influence and creating new connections that could benefit you in the future.

3. You can create boundaries for all parties involved.

A couple I knew moved back in with a set of their parents after getting married and this proved very stressful for all involved — for years. The parents knew the couple could not financially stand on their own feet and got used to taking care of their children. This even included telling them when dinner would be served — there was no privacy at all. After the couple moved out, for several years later, the set of parents would show up unannounced at their door! The couple had a struggle getting the parents to see them as adults and not children. They also had problems with how the parents disciplined their children. Having space creates that boundary that is necessary for a new couple to really grow

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4. You will have your own set standard way of doing things.

When you move out and venture into the new world together, you end up creating a set standard way of doing things together, and it may or may not be the way your parents would have done things. Odds are, it isn’t. Coming together as a couple, you will compromise and change. That is a beautiful part of marriage, in my opinion. Once you move out, you won’t want to move back in with your parents — that would mean losing all of the benefits of being independent with your new spouse.

Featured photo credit: Timothy Marsee via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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