Advertising
Advertising

4 Good Reasons Why Newlyweds Should Move

4 Good Reasons Why Newlyweds Should Move

For newlyweds and those who are engaged, it will be to your advantage to look for your new place together — away from the comforts of either of your parents. Now, understandably, this may not be your first thought. However, it is well worth considering. Moving away from the parents can be a really good thing as you embark on the next phase of your life together.

The keyword here is together. You are about to begin a journey that will have many ups and downs, as you well know. This new chapter in your life’s book will have wonderful untold adventures — new job opportunities, new pets, new friends, maybe even children. Your new journey needs to really focus on your new family — the two of you (or, if either of you already have children, all of you). Not to exclude your parents or your in-laws, but your “family” will now consist of who lives under the roof of your new home. Your extended family, though involved and supportive, is not your immediate family.

Advertising

Many newlyweds and couples simply struggle with separation from their extended family. This is especially true if you grew up in the south, where families are so important. However, separation from your family should include distance. This helps in so many ways, but is sometimes easier said than done. Once you rely on either set of your parents for financial assistance, for help with a disagreement, or just get too comfortable with them coming over, it becomes a scene from Everybody Love’s Raymond — and that isn’t pretty!

Boundaries are blurred, privacy is out the door, and the bond between husband and wife is not as tight as it should be. Countless experts will tell you that it is vital for a couple to have that time to really be together.

Advertising

Below are a few benefits from moving away from both of your families once you decide to live happily ever after:

1. Your parents will see you as independent.

Once you get married, those ties and bonds to your parents are still very much the same. However, if you put some distance between you, there is something amazing that happens: you begin to “grow up” in their eyes. They begin to see you more as equals instead of someone who really depends on them for everything.

Advertising

2. You can begin your new life by making new friends together.

Making friends together is a wonderful chance to really grow as a couple. When you move away from home, you are able to meet new neighbors and people in the community you would not have otherwise had the opportunity to meet. You are really beginning a new life together! This does not mean that you ignore those former relationships, but you are growing your sphere of influence and creating new connections that could benefit you in the future.

3. You can create boundaries for all parties involved.

A couple I knew moved back in with a set of their parents after getting married and this proved very stressful for all involved — for years. The parents knew the couple could not financially stand on their own feet and got used to taking care of their children. This even included telling them when dinner would be served — there was no privacy at all. After the couple moved out, for several years later, the set of parents would show up unannounced at their door! The couple had a struggle getting the parents to see them as adults and not children. They also had problems with how the parents disciplined their children. Having space creates that boundary that is necessary for a new couple to really grow

Advertising

4. You will have your own set standard way of doing things.

When you move out and venture into the new world together, you end up creating a set standard way of doing things together, and it may or may not be the way your parents would have done things. Odds are, it isn’t. Coming together as a couple, you will compromise and change. That is a beautiful part of marriage, in my opinion. Once you move out, you won’t want to move back in with your parents — that would mean losing all of the benefits of being independent with your new spouse.

Featured photo credit: Timothy Marsee via flickr.com

More by this author

4 Things Japanese People Taught Me 6 Tips for Personal Branding 5 Ways You May Be Squashing Your Child’s Creativity 4 Good Reasons Why Newlyweds Should Move 5 Things Volunteering Does For You!

Trending in Family

1 What Happened to Family Dinners? Why We Should Bring Them Back 2 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Stop Feeling Lonely 3 How Not to Let Work Take Priority over Spending Time With Family 4 35 Life Hacks for Kids That Make Parenting Easier And More Fun 5 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on June 20, 2019

Science Says Guitar Players’ Brains Are Different From Others’

Science Says Guitar Players’ Brains Are Different From Others’

There’s nothing quite like picking up a guitar and strumming out some chords. Listening to someone playing the guitar can be mesmerising, it can evoke emotion and a good guitar riff can bring out the best of a song. Many guitar players find a soothing, meditative quality to playing, along with the essence of creating music or busting out an acoustic version of their favourite song. But how does playing the guitar affect the brain?

More and more scientific studies have been looking into how people who play the guitar have different brain functions compared to those who don’t. What they found was quite astonishing and backed up what many guitarists may instinctively know deep down.

Advertising

Guitar Players’ Brains Can Synchronise

You didn’t read that wrong! Yes, a 2012 study[1] was conducted in Berlin that looked at the brains of guitar players. The researchers took 12 pairs of players and got them to play the same piece of music while having their brains scanned.

During the experiment, they found something extraordinary happening to each pair of participants – their brains were synchronising with each other. So what does this mean? Well, the neural networks found in the areas of the brain associated with social cognition and music production were most activated when the participants were playing their instruments. In other words, their ability to connect with each other while playing music was exceptionally strong.

Advertising

Guitar Players Have a Higher Intuition

Intuition is described as “the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning” and this is exactly what’s happening when two people are playing the guitar together.

The ability to synchronise their brains with each other, stems from this developed intuitive talent indicating that guitar players have a definite spiritual dexterity to them. Not only do their brains synchronise with another player, but they can also even anticipate what is to come before and after a set of chords without consciously knowing. This explains witnessing a certain ‘chemistry’ between players in a band and why many bands include brothers who may have an even stronger connection.

Advertising

This phenomenon is actually thought to be down to the way guitarists learn how to play – while many musicians learn through reading sheet music, guitar players learn more from listening to others play and feeling their way through the chords. This also shows guitarists have exceptional improvisational skills[2] and quick thinking.

Guitar Players Use More of Their Creative, Unconscious Brain

The same study carried out a different experiment, this time while solo guitarists were shredding. They found that experienced guitar players were found to deactivate the conscious part of their brain extremely easily meaning they were able to activate the unconscious, creative and less practical way of thinking more efficiently.

Advertising

This particular area of the brain – the right temporoparietal junction – typically deactivates with ‘long term goal orientation’ in order to stop distractions to get goals accomplished. This was in contrast to the non-guitarists who were unable to shut off the conscious part of their brain which meant they were consciously thinking more about what they were playing.

This isn’t to say that this unconscious way of playing can’t be learnt. Since the brain’s plasticity allows new connections to be made depending on repeated practice, the guitar player’s brain can be developed over time but it’s something about playing the guitar in particular that allows this magic to happen.

Conclusion

While we all know musicians have very quick and creative brains, it seems guitar players have that extra special something. Call it heightened intuition or even a spiritual element – either way, it’s proven that guitarists are an exceptional breed unto themselves!

More About Music Playing

Featured photo credit: Lechon Kirb via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next