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Dreaming Big vs Being Realistic—”I Just Wanna Know How to Make My Dreams Come True”

Dreaming Big vs Being Realistic—”I Just Wanna Know How to Make My Dreams Come True”

Do big dreams support my journey to success and fulfillment? Does reality even matter? Is “everything” possible? And what is the strategy to make my dreams come true?

There are so many people who are thinking and reflecting about the above-mentioned questions—maybe even you? The following lines provide useful perspectives on the subject of dreaming big vs. being realistic. You should have an answer to the questions after reading this article so you can instantly start making progress on your journey. Enough said; let’s dive into the details.

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It’s a 2-component formula.

Dreaming big is probably the most substantial aspect serving you as a foundation to have a journey paved with success. You should absolutely dream big and reach for more. But obviously it’s not enough to get yourself some food on the table, right? That means there has to be another component you need to implement in your life plan, like living in abundance, for instance.

The second component I’m talking about here is “reality.” I can’t tell you how many times I was told to be realistic in terms of goal setting and pretty much everything else, but I am creating my own world, and I avoid talking about things that aren’t realistic. So where’s the point with that weird reality stuff? Well, I learned something which totally changed my perspective concerning reality. It might sound basic but if you think about it then it’s like the tailwind you actually want. I learned that you have to implement reality as a special tool into your dream-big mindset.

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Inside out and the reality tool—get your freakin’ thoughts out there!

It’s great to have the best ideas and concepts in your head isn’t it? Probably yes. Unfortunately it’s not enough to be the greatest dreamer or the most successful wannabe. So what to do then? This is where reality comes into play.

You have to see reality as a tool—that’s the most beneficial point of view. Reality is the tool you need to make progress in the direction of your dreams. It’s the number-one tool to manifest your visions and dreams in the outer world—the world we consider to be our reality. You have a vision, but you obviously won’t become a doctor, lawyer or business angel simply by believing or dreaming of it.

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No, you should probably get a degree, apply for jobs in your field, get connected with other doctors, lawyers and entrepreneurs. And having a positive “there are no limits” mindset will absolutely support you, but it won’t do the work for you. All in all, you have to align your dreams with the opportunities and capabilities reality offers you. To be specific, in today’s world you can literally learn any skill just by doing some proper Internet research using Google, YouTube, forums, blogs, or sites like this one. By implementing this alignment between dreams and reality in your journey of success, you will definitely achieve results that you didn’t even dream about.

Create an upward spiral of achievement.

Why? Because you have a powerful mindset that doesn’t accept limits, but you also know that you have to take advantage of the “reality-tool” to manifest the things you want to reach. That way, you’re able to push yourself to your personal limits, without getting stuck in an “it’s unrealistic” way of thinking.  And you’re not getting stuck in being a dreamer either. It is strategic self-improvement and self-leadership which ends up in an insanely effective upward spiral of achievement.

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Congratulations, you finally know the so called “secret” about making your dreams come true. Simply add traction to it by letting reality support you the way you want it to. There are thousands of gurus and experts making tons of cash by selling these simple concepts as “secrets.” The weird thing? There is no such thing as “the secret”—just relatively simple strategic concepts that are over-complicated way too often.

Remember this: “Dreams and visions represent your drawing board. Reality is the playground you’re searching for to get things going.”

The problem with so-called motivational “gurus?”

I personally think that most of the so called “gurus” and motivational “experts” just don’t bring up the importance of acting reality-related. They are telling you that everything is possible by having the right attitude, thinking positive and visualizing your goals. But they are not mentioning the action steps you actually have to take to manifest your goals. How do you want to make a living just by imagining yourself being a successful entrepreneur? Probably not at all! In today’s world, having even the “best” mindset is absolutely worthless if you don’t apply for that job, go to the gym, attend that course or see that coach. Whatever it is, please align the resources available to you with the mindset you have.

Yes, everything is possible—if you don’t get stuck due to a lack of reality awareness. It separates the worst from the best, the wannabes from the top performers. Now it’s time to use your whole repertoire to make your wildest dreams come true. Go for it!

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Dreaming big Dreaming Big vs Being Realistic—”I Just Wanna Know How to Make My Dreams Come True”

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

Facebook is embedded into lives around the world. We use it to connect with friends, share important milestones, and check in with the news. However, what may seem like harmless scrolling can become harmful if it takes up inordinate amounts of time and turns into a Facebook addiction.

The first step to breaking any bad habit is to understand the symptoms and psychological triggers that made you pick up the habit in the first place. Below you’ll find the common causes, and the good news is that, once you’ve identified them, you can implement specific strategies to get over your Facebook addiction.

Symptoms of a Facebook Addiction

Do you find that the first thing you do when you wake up is grab your phone and scroll through Facebook? Is it the last thing you see before falling asleep? You may have a Facebook addiction. Here are some more of the signs and symptoms[1]:

  • You end up spending hours on Facebook, even when you don’t mean to.
  • You use Facebook to escape problems or change your mood.
  • You go to sleep later because you’re glued to your screen.
  • Your relationships are suffering because you spend more time on your phone than you do talking with the people you care about.
  • You automatically pull out your phone when you have free time.

You can check out this TED Talk by Tristan Harris to understand how Facebook and other social media gain and hold our attention:

Psychological Reasons for a Facebook Addiction

A compulsive Facebook addiction doesn’t come out of nowhere. There are often root causes that push you into Facebook, which can ultimately manifest as an addiction once you become dependent on it. Here are some of the common causes.

Procrastination

Facebook can cause procrastination, but many times, your tendency to procrastinate can lead you to scrolling through your Facebook feed.

Facebook capitalizes on your tendency to procrastinate[2] by incorporating a news feed with an infinite scroll. No matter how far down you go, there will always be more memes and status updates to keep you distracted from whatever you should be doing.

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Thus, it might be helpful to change your perception of Facebook. Instead of looking at it like a place to be social or kill time, frame Facebook as the enemy of your productivity and purpose. Doesn’t sound as tempting now, right?

Loneliness or Indecision

Facebook resembles a boring reality TV show that is on full display during every hour of the day. Do you really need to tell everybody what you ate for lunch? I doubt it.

You don’t share such trivial details to add value to people’s lives. You’re likely doing it because you’re lonely and in need of attention or approval[3].

Seeking opinions from your friends could be a sign of indecision or low self-confidence. If you get a bad suggestion, then you can conveniently blame somebody else, thus protecting your ego.

Social Comparisons

Social comparison is a natural part of being human[4]. We need to know where we stand in order to judge our rank among our peers. And Facebook has made this all too easy.

When we get into Facebook, our brains are bombarded by hundreds of people to compare ourselves to. We see our cousin’s amazing vacation to Europe, our friend’s adorable baby, our brother’s new puppy, etc. Everything looks better than what we have because, of course, people are only going to post the best parts.

This extreme form of social comparison with a Facebook addiction can, unfortunately, lead to depression. One study pointed out that “people feel depressed after spending a great deal of time on Facebook because they feel badly when comparing themselves to others”[5].

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People-Pleasing

Facebook takes advantage of your desire for instant gratification[6]. Your brain receives a dopamine hit every time you see that red notification light up. Dopamine is a chemical in your brain that causes you to seek pleasure from things.

Pleasure sounds nice in theory, but dopamine is responsible for self-destructive behavior if overproduced. Thus, becoming a slave to your notifications can destroy your self-control in a hurry.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the human desire to be liked and accepted is at play, too. Every time you get a “Like,” your brain decides that means somebody likes you. Keep this up and you’ll turn into an addict desperate for another “hit.”

Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Facebook wrecks your focus by preying on your fear of missing out. You check your Facebook feed during a date because you don’t want to miss any interesting updates. You check your messages while you drive because a friend might have something exciting to share.

One study found that “a high level of fear of missing out and high narcissism are predictors of Facebook intrusion, while a low level of fear of missing out and high narcissism are related to satisfaction with life”[7].

Therefore, while you may feel temporarily glad that you didn’t miss something, research shows that FOMO will actually reduce your overall life satisfaction.

How to Break a Facebook Addiction

Now that you know some of the causes of a Facebook addiction, you may be ready to break it. If so, follow these 5 steps to get over your addiction and improve your mental health.

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1. Admit the Addiction

You can’t fix a problem if you deny it exists. Don’t beat yourself up, but do try and be honest enough to admit you’re a Facebook addict. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a recovering addict myself. There is no reason to be ashamed.

Telling a trusted friend might help you stay accountable, especially if they share your goal.

2. Be Mindful of Triggers

In order to discover the triggers that lead you to use Facebook, ask yourself the following questions. It may be helpful to write them down at a journal.

  • What did I do? (scrolling, sharing, notification checking, etc.)
  • When did I do it? (down-time at work, as soon as you woke up, right before bed, on a date, etc.)
  • What happened right before? (a stressful event, boredom, etc.)
  • How did this make me feel? (stressed, anxious, sad, angry, etc.)

Once you’re aware of what pushes you to use Facebook, you can work on tackling those specific things to get over your Facebook addiction.

3. Learn to Recognize the Urge

Every time you feel the urge to update your status or check your feed, recognize that impulse for what it is (a habitual behavior—NOT a conscious decision). This is especially powerful when you complete step 2 because you’ll be able to make a mental note of the specific psychological trigger at play.

Have a plan for when you feel the desire to use Facebook. For example, if you know you use it when you’re bored, plan to practice a hobby instead. If you use it when you’re stressed, create a relaxation routine instead of jumping on Facebook.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Facebook is an epic time-suck, but that doesn’t mean you should criticize yourself every time you log-on to your feed. Beating yourself up will make you feel bad about yourself, which will ironically cause you to be even more tempted.

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Self-loathing can only lead to failure. You might end up deciding it’s hopeless because you are “too lazy.”  If you want to break your addiction for good, then you need to be self-compassionate.

5. Replace the Addiction With a Positive Alternative

It’s a lot easier to eliminate a bad habit when you decide on a good habit that you would like to replace it with. I applied this idea by choosing to pick up a book every time I was tempted to check my feed.

The result blew my mind. I read over a hundred pages in the first day! Trust me when I say those “few minutes of down-time” can add up to an obscene amount of waste.

Having a specific metric to track is important. If you want to stay encouraged, you need to have compelling evidence that your time would be better spent elsewhere.

For example, download an app to help you determine exactly how much time is spent on Facebook so you know how much of your life you’re losing to it. Then, when you find a healthy alternative, you can feel good about all the time you’re giving to it!

Final Thoughts

Facebook addictions aren’t uncommon in today’s technologically dependent world. In the pursuit of human connection, we’ve mistakenly taken our interactions online, thinking it would be an easier alternative. Unfortunately, this is no replacement for genuine, face-to-face interaction in real life.

If you think you have a problem, there are things you can do to tackle it. Get started today and improve your overall well-being.

More on How to Use Social Media Less

Featured photo credit: Tim Bennett via unsplash.com

Reference

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