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Why It’s Great To Make Friends With Girls Who Get Along Better With Guys

Why It’s Great To Make Friends With Girls Who Get Along Better With Guys

It’s an age old dilemma.

Is it better to make more friends of your own gender or branch out and become friends with girls? Some awkward experiences in the past probably tell you it’s a lot less messy if you stick to hanging out with the guys. But the truth is, having girls around brings a whole new perspective to life that you might not know you were missing out on.

Here are nine reasons why you need girls who get along with the guys in your life.

They Are Forgetful

Girls who get on well with guys don’t hold on to things. In fact, they’re pretty forgetful when it comes to the negative stuff. They don’t hold grudges and you can accidentally wrong them without fear of them exacting vengeance on you.

They Have an Open Mind

Girls who hang out with guys have an open mind on life, love and relationships. Because they’re cool with platonic relationships between men and women they’re already bucking the trend.

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They value having several different perspectives. That’s why they surround themselves with great girlfriends and lost of trustworthy guys.

Their open minds think clearly and rationally. It makes them a huge help when you’re trying to make a serious decision.

They Are Cheerful

Girls who get along better with guys are generally in a better mood. They think positively and they don’t let the little things drag them down.

Having anyone like this in your life is essential. When you’re having one of those days, these kinds of friends can remind you that you have got a lot to smile about.

They Don’t Care About Petty Things

These girls don’t care about petty things. In fact, they don’t even think about caring about petty things.

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They won’t ask you trick questions and they won’t attack you for using the wrong words. Instead, they just get to the point. It lets the conversation flow because there is no hidden agenda.

They’re Eager to Try New Things

Girls who have friends of both sexes want to have new experiences and try new things. They want to get the most out of life and their passion is infectious. Having people like this around is perfect because they’ll help you get over any apprehensions you have when facing something difficult.

Essentially, girls like this will hold your hand as you jump off the cliff, proverbial or otherwise.

They’re Energetic

Girls who have a lot of friends of both sexes are energetic. They have a lot going on and a lot that they still want to do. There aren’t enough hours in the day so they have to pack it in, filling every second of their day with something interesting and exciting.

This energy is inspiring. It inspires you to better, to do more and to chase your dreams. Who doesn’t want someone who inadvertently encourages you to go after what you want?

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They’re Emotionally Consistent

Girls who have male friends are pretty emotionally consistent. They’re stable and always cheerful and generally satisfied with what’s going on around them.

Sure, they are a rock but it’s because they made themselves that way. They’re in control of their own happiness and they don’t let others get them down.

Take their advice on important issues and you’ll learn a lot about making solid, rational decisions.

They Like Your Male Friends and Your Female Friends

A girl that gets along with everyone is a girl that you can take everywhere. They will like your male friends, they’ll get on with your female friends and they’ll never get in the way of your romantic interests.

Having someone that you can introduce to your best friend, your date, your parents or even your boss is amazing. You’ll never have to worry if they’ll be nice to the other people in your life. That’s someone you can rely on even when everything has gone wrong.

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They Understand How You Feel and Don’t Push

Girls who get along with guys are accepting of the personalities of both sexes. She’ll never push you into elaborating on your feelings to validate her own feelings. She’ll get that there are somethings that you don’t want or need to talk about and she’ll let that be.

In fact, she will probably find a way to make sure you know she understands without even having to ask you what is wrong.

Hollywood thinks that being friends with girls is hard. But being friends with the right girl is the easiest thing you’ll ever do. Girls who get on with guys get what’s going on in your head. These girls will let you be you and that doesn’t just make them good friends but good people too.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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