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2 Reasons Why It’s Okay To Be A Failure.

2 Reasons Why It’s Okay To Be A Failure.

Growing up, I’ve always had a little slogan Born and raised to fail. Crazy right? People would often respond with, “Why so negative?” The truth is, failure isn’t a negative and in what world do we live where challenging yourself is considered a negative? You have been given roughly eighty years worth of time on this planet and when it’s up, it’s game over. It’s time to stop fearing failure and accept it for what it is : A way to grow.

1. We Are All Afraid To Fail.

We as people since the time we are born and till the day we die are always told to try and be successful. Your parents, teachers, mentors, will have shunned the word failure from your vocabulary, and if you are a normal kid, then you have yet to experience proper failure through participation ribbons, equality in the classroom, and “Everyone wins” style of games.

You learn to fear failure. People have accepted that failure in itself is the most embarrassing or degrading thing possible. We have associated failure to being unsuccessful and it’s kind of funny because most people see successful, as having success. They don’t see that failure is pushing beyond your success to be successful. There is a reason all time greats in sports come from failure. Because failure, unlike success, is something that you can drive on. How many famous celebrities do you know say “Well, they told me I wasn’t good at it.” The truth was, they weren’t. We all know they didn’t go to bed and wake up as the greatest thing on TV. The truth was they were at home or in the gym, failing by themselves thousands of times over. But we pretend that those events never occurred. We act like those who are successful just are. Failure is just a little undertone every successful person holds on to.

Successful people can’t count the number of times they’ve failed and they won’t mention failure because in our society if you fail a thousand times you’re not a dreamer or a challenger. You’re a hopeless failure, who should just stay working nine to five and if you manage to succeed a thousand times the moment you fail it’s game over.

I idolize people that have reached success, and you do too. Yet, sometimes we as people forget to realize that the people before them who failed and quit, are the people that built them the podium they stand on. We will always forget the johns that could have been, by only remembering the have been.

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But how many kids grew up aspiring to be successful, only to ignore that guitar in the corner for the fear of being laughed at because they started guitar lessons? Or maybe a little kid started writing to themselves wishing to be an author, only to hear in the back of their head or from their classmates “you will never be an author!” followed by ignorant laughs?. Or that kid on the basketball team who wants to be the best basketball player in the world. Yet due to failure, he doesn’t spend the extra time in. You see, we always flaunt the greatest yet refuse to acknowledge the sacrifice to get there.

I’ll have you know I was told once that I spent so much energy becoming good at everything, that I never became great at anything. I told them it was true, as to much as I love failure, I’m afraid of failure. I’m not perfect, I have written hundreds and hundreds of pages, and attempted to be published numerous times that all have led to: failure. But every time I fail, I pick up past written books, chapters, and I don’t see unsuccessful I see successful. Why? Because although I may never be perfect, I can tell you one thing: I see growth.

From my first chapter ever written to my last I know I’m getting better. I’m growing from my failure.

So please, go pick up that guitar, go experiment with paint. Do what makes you happy.

2. Growing is Learning to Understand That Failure is a Natural Part of Living.

I read an article once that involved a nurse in a hospice who asked every patient that she ever had a five step question. You can find it here

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But what breaks my heart is the very first answer :

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it. Most people will never accomplish their dreams for many reasons, but the biggest when it comes to choice? Is the fear of failure. The fear of being ripped from beneath that comfortable space in society where people expect you to be.

But will you be content in dying and not giving your dreams a voice or a chance? All because of a little thing known as failure? Something, that if you choose you could take and learn from it. You could ask yourself “Why did I fail?” and, “Is it a bad thing?” You could even smile about it. I know it sounds weird, smiling over FAILURE. But I want you to look back right now and think of everything you’ve accomplished in your life.

If you can find one thing where you succeeded before failure you better let me know. Because you can’t and never will. You didn’t wake up already having the knowledge of swimming, riding a bike, walking. You didn’t wake up and know proper English, math. At one point you probably failed a test and was forced to relearn the theory until you knew it.

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You failed, and you did it. Failure is the natural process of growth. No one just creates perfection the first try. No one just wakes up one day and runs a marathon, writes a book, creates a painting, invents Facebook or the next thing to save mankind. And if you can conquer failure, you can conquer anything you want in the world.

The only thing that is stopping you from living, and reaching your goals/dreams is the little thing in your head screaming “I want to do that, but that’s not me. I’ll never be good at that.” People roll with it. When they see something they like that little voice comes up again, and says, “Hello Johnny! Don’t touch that, don’t even think about it. That’s not you, You will NEVER be good at that! Goodbye!”

You say, “Okay.” and continue living mundane, because you’re not meant to be famous, meant to be successful.

You’re meant to be you. Except ironically, you’re not living you because you allow all your dreams and aspirations to drown in failure. You need to study so you can learn and then one day you can teach, one day you can show and tell. You can be an example. You can be an example to your children on what success is. You can be an example of someone who challenged failure and became great. Or you can be an example of someone who had dreams and aspirations and with the fear of failing, accomplished nothing. Forgotten.

You could look at the world and say “There are 7 billion people out there, I will never be successful.” Or you could realize this one important detail.

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If I wake up today, go to work, then die. I will have died unsuccessful.

If I wake up today, pursue my dreams, fail, then die, I will have died successful.

If I wake up today, pursue my dreams, succeed, then die, I will have died successful.

So next time you hear failure slip from your mouth you better taste it. Because anything that screams failure also screams a possibility for success.

Your room to grow.

– Elliott Morreau

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Prevent Decision Fatigue From Clouding Your Judgement

How to Prevent Decision Fatigue From Clouding Your Judgement

What is decision fatigue? Let me explain this with an example:

When determining a court ruling, there are many factors that contribute to their final verdict. You probably assume that the judge’s decision is influenced solely by the nature of the crime committed or the particular laws that were broken. While this is completely valid, there is an even greater influential factor that dictates the judge’s decision: the time of day.

In 2012, a research team from Columbia University[1] examined 1,112 court rulings set in place by a Parole Board Judge over a 10 month period. The judge would have to determine whether the individuals in question would be released from prison on parole, or a change in the parole terms.

While the facts of the case often take precedence in decision making, the judges mental state had an alarming influence on their verdict.

As the day goes on, the chance of a favorable ruling drops:

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    Image source: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

    Does the time of day, or the judges level of hunger really contribute that greatly to their decision making? Yes, it does.

    The research went on to show that at the start of the day the likelihood of the judging giving out a favorable ruling was somewhere around 65%.

    But as the morning dragged on, the judge became fatigued and drained from making decision after decision. As more time went on, the odds of receiving a favorable ruling decreased steadily until it was whittled down to zero.

    However, right after their lunch break, the judge would return to the courtroom feeling refreshed and recharged. Energized by their second wind, their leniency skyrockets back up to a whopping 65%. And again, as the day drags on to its finish, the favorable rulings slowly diminish along with the judge’s spirits.

    This is no coincidence. According to the carefully recorded research, this was true for all 1,112 cases. The severity of the crime didn’t matter. Whether it was rape, murder, theft, or embezzlement, the criminal was more likely to get a favorable ruling either early in the morning, or after the judges lunch break.

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    Are You Suffering from Decision Fatigue Too?

    We all suffer from decision fatigue without even realizing it.

    Perhaps you aren’t a judge with the fate of an individual’s life at your disposal, but the daily decisions you make for yourself could hinder you if you’re not in the right head-space.

    Regardless of how energetic you feel (as I imagine it is somehow caffeine induced anyway), you will still experience decision fatigue. Just like every other muscle, your brain gets tired after periods of overuse, pumping out one decision after the next. It needs a chance to rest in order to function at a productive rate.

    The Detrimental Consequences of Decision Fatigue

    When you are in a position such as a Judge, you can’t afford to let your mental state dictate your decision making; but it still does. According to George Lowenstein, an American educator and economy expert, decision fatigue is to blame for poor decision making among members of high office. The disastrous level of failure among these individuals to control their impulses could be directly related to their day to day stresses at work and their private life.

    When you’re just too tired to think, you stop caring. And once you get careless, that’s when you need to worry. Decision fatigue can contribute to a number of issues such as impulse shopping (guilty), poor decision making at work, and poor decision making with after work relationships. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t dip your pen in the company ink.

    How to Make Decision Effectively

    Either alter the time of decision making to when your mind is the most fresh, or limit the number of decisions to be made. Try utilizing the following hacks for more effective decision making.

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    1. Make Your Most Important Decisions within the First 3 Hours

    You want to make decisions at your peak performance, so either first thing in the morning, or right after a break.

    Research has actually shown that you are the most productive for the first 3 hours[2] of your day. Utilize this time! Don’t waste it on trivial decisions such as what to wear, or mindlessly scrolling through social media.

    Instead, use this time to tweak your game plan. What do you want to accomplish? What can you improve? What steps do you need to take to reach these goals?

    2. Form Habits to Reduce Decision Making

    You don’t have to choose all the time.

    Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it doesn’t have to be an extravagant spread every morning. Make a habit out of eating a similar or quick breakfast, and cut that step of your morning out of the way. Can’t decide what to wear? Pick the first thing that catches your eye. We both know that after 20 minutes of changing outfits you’ll just go with the first thing anyway.

    Powerful individuals such as Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, and Mark Zuckerberg don’t waste their precious time deciding what to wear. In fact, they have been known to limiting their outfits down to two options in order to reduce their daily decision making.

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    3. Take Frequent Breaks for a Clearer Mind

    You are at your peak of productivity after a break, so to reap the benefits, you need to take lots of breaks! I know, what a sacrifice. If judges make better decisions in the morning and after their lunch break, then so will you.

    The reason for this is because the belly is now full, and the hunger is gone. Roy Baumeister, Florida State University social psychologist[3] had found that low-glucose levels take a negative toll on decision making. By taking a break to replenish your glucose levels, you will be able to focus better and improve your decision making abilities.

    Even if you aren’t hungry, little breaks are still necessary to let your mind refresh, and come back being able to think more clearly.

    Structure your break times. Decide beforehand when you will take breaks, and eat energy sustaining snacks so that your energy level doesn’t drop too low. The time you “lose” during your breaks will be made up in the end, as your productivity will increase after each break.

    So instead of slogging through your day, letting your mind deteriorate and fall victim to the daily abuses of decision making, take a break, eat a snack. Let your mind refresh and reset, and jump-start your productivity throughout the day.

    More Tips About Decision Making

    Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

    Reference

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