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8 Times Ellen Degeneres Was Your Spiritual Guru (Quotes from Ellen)

8 Times Ellen Degeneres Was Your Spiritual Guru (Quotes from Ellen)

“For me, it’s that I contributed, … That I’m on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That’s to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.”

No one can do it quite like Ellen Degeneres. Here are eight times she just shed some light and sprinkled positivity all around.

  1. When she proved you should always be yourself …

“I had everything I’d hoped for, but I wasn’t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn’t like me for being… me.”

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    … No Matter How Gay Or Straight You Are …

    “Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?”

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      … So really no exceptions … or almost.

      “Accept who you are unless you’re a serial killer.”

      1. When reflecting on life

      “Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called ‘Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.’ I’d never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I’d last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things.”

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        “My point is, life is about the balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.”

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        1. On always living a life that is your own

        “Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”

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          “I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.”

          1. On the importance of being kind

          “I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.”

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            1. On being an animal lover

            “Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when they are wearing dark glasses, and have streamers in their antlers because then then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.”

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              “I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

              1. On happiness

              “The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.”

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                “It’s our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that’s what I know for sure… I think.”

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                  1. On being grateful

                  “It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.”

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                    “The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.”

                    “I feel extremely lucky to have my own TV show. Every day I pinch myself because I’m sure I must be dreaming. Actually, I don’t pinch myself. It’s one of my manager’s jobs to pinch me and say, “You ain’t dreamin’, kid!” Then I pinch him, he pinches me back, and it usually ends up in a slap fight. Sometimes the slap fight lasts until midnight.”

                    1. And when showing that humor and a good laugh will always save the day.

                    “In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.”

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                      “Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, “I can’t tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let’s walk faster.” Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.”

                      Featured photo credit: cult of mac via cultofmac.com

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                      Last Updated on November 19, 2020

                      The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

                      The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

                      It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

                      Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

                      What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

                      However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

                      1. Value Your Time

                      Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

                      Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

                      2. Know Your Priorities

                      Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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                      For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

                      However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

                      You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

                      3. Practice Saying No

                      Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

                      Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

                      4. Don’t Apologize

                      A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

                      When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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                      5. Stop Being Nice

                      Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

                      Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

                      6. Say No to Your Boss

                      Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

                      In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

                      7. Pre-Empting

                      It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

                      “Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

                      This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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                      8. Get Back to You

                      Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

                      “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

                      At least you gave it some consideration.

                      9. Maybe Later

                      If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

                      “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

                      Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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                      Saying no the healthy way

                        10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

                        This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

                        Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

                        The Bottom Line

                        Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

                        Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

                        More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

                        Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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