Advertising
Advertising

50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her

50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her

Misunderstandings are the biggest problem in most relationships. Sometimes it can be solved easily, you just don’t know what it is exactly. It could be that she doesn’t feel loved.

When you love someone, you can easily take it for granted. But love is not something to think lightly about. It’s one of the most important things in life, because every other aspect is touched by it.

Advertising

But how do you show it? It may not come easy to everyone. Appreciating a person can be done in many ways. So I will help you on your way. Here are 50 ways to show her you really do love her:

Advertising

  1. Talk respectfully. Don’t make her feel like she is less important.
  2. Listen to her. Not just to the words she’s saying but to the feeling she tries to express.
  3. Compliment her. Be specific, so she knows you really mean it.
  4. Try to show interest in things she enjoys. Does she like cooking? Help her! Does she like sports? Play it with her! Does she like art? Watch it with her!
  5. Consider her opinion before making a decision. Ask her what she thinks and honestly consider it.
  6. Be forgiving. There is no better way to love someone than to openly forgive and forget. Holding a grudge will not improve your relationship.
  7. Plan a small trip. Take her to a place where you can spend quality time.
  8. Set goals together. If you know from each other what you are working toward, it is easier to support each other. Also, having goals together will bring you closer.
  9. Admit your mistakes. Being open and honest, showing that you too are imperfect will make her feel closer to you.
  10. Have her back. If you get in a situation where you have to choose between your wife and others, choose her. Especially when it is a situation with your family. She already feels like she took you away from them, she needs to feel that you don’t hold that against her.
  11. Give her a mini massage, like a back-rub. Who doesn’t enjoy attention like that?
  12. If she’s not feeling well, even just a headache, make sure you help her out as much as possible. She takes care of you all the time, so show her you appreciate that by taking care of her.
  13. When she asks you to help out with something, don’t respond annoyed. Show her you don’t mind giving a hand. She doesn’t enjoy everything she needs to do either, but someone has to do it.
  14. When you discus a serious subject, don’t go off joking around. Peacefully listen and talk.
  15. When having a conversation, look her in the eye. Show her that you are listening. Don’t get distracted.
  16. Spend as much time as possible with her. She wants to feel like she is the most important person in the world to you. Spending time is the number one thing you do with the number one person in your life.
  17. Put effort into looking good. Workout, shave, shower, put on some deodorant. Whatever makes her feel attracted to you, do it.
  18. Help out around the house, without special recognition! You don’t have to brag about doing something that she does every day.
  19. Be supportive. When she shows that something she wants to do means a lot to her, support her. I wanted to be a writer and told my husband, and see where I am today, writing!
  20. If she says something is bothering her, don’t ignore it. Talk about it. Small things that stay on your mind, will grow into big things that are hard to solve.
  21. Work on yourself. Everyone changes over time. When she mentions some behavior that she doesn’t appreciate, show her you are trying to improve on it.
  22. Surprise her. Give her a lovely card or letter. Show up with flowers. Buy her that bracelet she wanted. Anything small is good. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Surprises are what keep your relationship alive.
  23. When in a relaxed state, make her comfortable. For example, when watching tv, sit close and cuddle her or hold her hand.
  24. Let her know you think of her when you are not together, by texting or calling.
  25. Be pro-active. If she notices that you are trying the best you can at all times, she will respect you for that.
  26. Show affection in public. Hold her hand, give her a kiss, hug her. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to show her you love her, even when people can see it.
  27. Are you going to be later than expected? Let her know! She won’t feel important if you won’t even let her know that you’re late.
  28. Ask her what she’s insecure about. If you want to be the hero who helps her out, you should have an idea what’s she’s afraid of. There are a lot of unstable factors in life, so maybe you can help her with things like a job, place to live or even just letting her know she is important.
  29. Refuse to compare her to others. She is your number one! Why even start to compare? She has to be the only one you care about.
  30. When you started to fall in love, you were dating. Why change what’s good? Take her out on dates to stay in love!
  31. She probably makes dinner for you every night… Why not let her relax while you clean up afterwards? Or better, make dinner once in a while.
  32. If she’s feeling discouraged or hurt, hold her and tell her you love and care for her. She just needs to feel you are there for her at the times she needs you the most.
  33. Brag about her. When she’s around, and when she’s not around. Brag about her. Too many people talk negatively. You chose her, so brag about her.
  34. Let her be free to say what’s on her mind. When she speaks from the heart, don’t tell her her feelings aren’t important or dumb.
  35. Explore who she is. Try to know more about her. Talk about every subject you can think about. See what her viewpoint is on the deeper things in life. Ask as many questions as you can come up with.
  36. Don’t make her feel guilty. Don’t put your problems on her. If you have a problem, talk about it patiently.
  37. Make her something. Don’t just buy gifts, create them. Maybe you can make a journal about your relationship, noting down all the important things that happened and adding little memories to cherish.
  38. Take pictures with her. Ladies take a lot of pictures but they don’t have the same meaning as when you do it. Try to make a picture every time you’re together, that’s a way to capture a precious moment.
  39. When you’re around each other a lot, you have to deal with a lot of serious matters. Try to add in a little bit of fun by making a joke or tickling her. (Know when to stop, because you don’t want to annoy her.)
  40. Call her cute names. You don’t want to sound like a businessman by just using her name. But always using the same nickname can also get boring, so mix it up.
  41. Be strong enough to let her help you. When it comes to emotional things, you may need a little help. Let her help you. It’ll show trust and love.
  42. Don’t give love to expect it back. Don’t show her you care just to get it back. Give freely.
  43. Don’t see her as weak, but as precious. Women are usually more emotional than men. But that is not weak. She has to be the most important thing in your life. How can she be important if you look down on her? She is precious.
  44. Don’t just appreciate how she looks, also love her personality. If she knows you appreciate her for who she is and not just what she looks like, she will feel more love and appreciate you more.
  45. Realize that she is like a gift. Every day of your life with her, remember that she’s a gift in your life. You could be alone, taking care of yourself, but remember she’s there to take care of you too. Don’t take her for granted.
  46. Do what you say. When you agree on something, follow through. It may not be the easiest for you, but really do the best you can to do as you agreed on.
  47. Celebrate accomplishments. Don’t say ‘cool’ and keep on living life. If she did something she’s proud of or you’re proud of, let her know. Get a bottle of wine or get a little something to celebrate.
  48. Find out what she likes in bed and do that.
  49. Leave little notes around the house, with sweet messages, so every time she enters a room or uses a different appliance around the house, she has a little surprise. (I got this tip from my husband, who did this when I was feeling down. Made me feel amazing!)
  50. Tell her you love her! You can never say it often enough. Keep reminding her every day, hour, minute, that you love her!

And of course, almost everything on this list can be ways to show him you love him too!

Advertising

Featured photo credit: mari lezhava via unsplash.com

Advertising

More by this author

Florence Carmen Bukasa

Florence is a happy wife and passionate writer who blogs about health, love and life.

50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her 20 Amazing Places In Asia You Must Visit At Least Once in Your Life Time 12 Illustrations To Teach Kids Yoga Poses How To Make Money With Your Hobby Quick And Easy: 20 Homemade Facial Masks That Work

Trending in Relationships

1 Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again 2 10 Essential Books on Relationships To Help You Understand Love 3 How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You Still Love Your Partner 4 6 Qualities of a Charismatic Leader 5 3 Simple Signs of a Strong and Healthy Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 22, 2020

8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn’t really listening? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.

Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not good listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work—more work than people are willing to invest. Quality conversation is about “give and take.” Most people, however, want to just give—their words, that is. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it’s essential.

When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they’re saying, it’s a sign of caring and respect. The hitch is that attending requires an act of will, which sometimes goes against what our minds naturally do—roaming around aimlessly and thinking about whatnot, instead of listening—the greatest act of thoughtfulness.

Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged. That’s why it’s important for everyone to learn how to be a better listener.

What Makes People Poor Listeners?

Good listening skills can be learned, but first, let’s take a look at some of the things that you might be doing that makes you a poor listener.

1. You Want to Talk to Yourself

Well, who doesn’t? We all have something to say, right? But when you are looking at someone pretending to be listening while, all along, they’re mentally planning all the amazing things they’re going to say, it is a disservice to the speaker.

Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. You always have the ability to steer the conversation in another direction by asking questions.

It’s okay to want to talk. It’s normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you’ll want someone to listen to you.

2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said

This is another thing that makes you an inadequate listener—hearing something with which you disagree with and immediately tuning out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You’re eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your “truth,” others will know how mistaken the speaker is, thank you for setting them straight, and encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. Dream on.

Disagreeing with your speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of.

3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You’re “Listening”

It is impossible to listen to someone while you’re texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time—I know I have.

Advertising

I’ve actually tried to balance my checkbook while pretending to listen to the person on the other line. It didn’t work. I had to keep asking, “what did you say?” I can only admit this now because I rarely do it anymore. With work, I’ve succeeded in becoming a better listener. It takes a great deal of concentration, but it’s certainly worth it.

If you’re truly going to listen, then you must: listen! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, “you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you are too busy to actually listen, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It’s simple as that!

4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge

While you’re “listening,” you decide that the speaker doesn’t know what they’re talking about. As the “expert,” you know more. So, what’s the point of even listening?

To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they’re wrong is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To do that, you’d have to really listen, wouldn’t you? Also, make sure you don’t judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences.

My dad is nearly 91. His English is sometimes a little broken and hard to understand. People wrongly assume that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—they’re quite mistaken. My dad is a highly intelligent man who has English as his second language. He knows what he’s saying and understands the language perfectly.

Keep that in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words.

Now, you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You’re a better listener than most.

How To Be a Better Listener

For conversation’s sake, though, let’s just say that maybe you need some work in the listening department, and after reading this article, you make the decision to improve. What, then, are some of the things you need to do to make that happen? How can you be a better listener?

1. Pay Attention

A good listener is attentive. They’re not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They’re focused and paying attention to what the other person is saying. This is called active listening.

According to Skills You Need, “active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening—otherwise, the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.”[1]

As I mentioned, it’s normal for the mind to wander. We’re human, after all. But a good listener will rein those thoughts back in as soon as they notice their attention waning.

Advertising

I want to note here that you can also “listen” to bodily cues. You can assume that if someone keeps looking at their watch or over their shoulder, their focus isn’t on the conversation. The key is to just pay attention.

2. Use Positive Body Language

You can infer a lot from a person’s body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious?

A good listener’s body language is open. They lean forward and express curiosity in what is being said. Their facial expression is either smiling, showing concern, conveying empathy, etc. They’re letting the speaker know that they’re being heard.

People say things for a reason—they want some type of feedback. For example, you tell your spouse, “I had a really rough day!” and your husband continues to check his newsfeed while nodding his head. Not a good response.

But what if your husband were to look up with questioning eyes, put his phone down, and say, “Oh, no. What happened?” How would feel, then? The answer is obvious.

According to Alan Gurney,[2]

“An active listener pays full attention to the speaker and ensures they understand the information being delivered. You can’t be distracted by an incoming call or a Facebook status update. You have to be present and in the moment.

Body language is an important tool to ensure you do this. The correct body language makes you a better active listener and therefore more ‘open’ and receptive to what the speaker is saying. At the same time, it indicates that you are listening to them.”

3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

I am certain you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a sentence only to see the other person holding up a finger or their mouth open, ready to step into your unfinished verbiage. It’s rude and causes anxiety. You would, more than likely, feel a need to rush what you’re saying just to finish your sentence.

Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, “what I have to say is much more important than what you’re saying.” When you interrupt the speaker, they feel frustrated, hurried, and unimportant.

Interrupting a speaker to agree, disagree, argue, etc., causes the speaker to lose track of what they are saying. It’s extremely frustrating. Whatever you have to say can wait until the other person is done.

Advertising

Be polite and wait your turn!

4. Ask Questions

Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you’re interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip to Mammoth, don’t respond with, “that’s nice.” That would show a lack of interest and disrespect. Instead, you can ask, “how long have you been skiing?” “Did you find it difficult to learn?” “What was your favorite part of the trip?” etc. The person will think highly of you and consider you a great conversationalist just by you asking a few questions.

5. Just Listen

This may seem counterintuitive. When you’re conversing with someone, it’s usually back and forth. On occasion, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they’re really being heard and understood.

I once sat with a client for 45 minutes without saying a word. She came into my office in distress. I had her sit down, and then she started crying softly. I sat with her—that’s all I did. At the end of the session, she stood, told me she felt much better, and then left.

I have to admit that 45 minutes without saying a word was tough. But she didn’t need me to say anything. She needed a safe space in which she could emote without interruption, judgment, or me trying to “fix” something.

6. Remember and Follow Up

Part of being a great listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them.

For example, in a recent conversation you had with your co-worker Jacob, he told you that his wife had gotten a promotion and that they were contemplating moving to New York. The next time you run into Jacob, you may want to say, “Hey, Jacob! Whatever happened with your wife’s promotion?” At this point, Jacob will know you really heard what he said and that you’re interested to see how things turned out. What a gift!

According to new research, “people who ask questions, particularly follow-up questions, may become better managers, land better jobs, and even win second dates.”[3]

It’s so simple to show you care. Just remember a few facts and follow up on them. If you do this regularly, you will make more friends.

7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential

If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you’re hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being a good listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information.

Whatever is told to you in confidence is not to be revealed. Assure your speaker that their information is safe with you. They will feel relieved that they have someone with whom they can share their burden without fear of it getting out.

Advertising

Keeping someone’s confidence helps to deepen your relationship. Also, “one of the most important elements of confidentiality is that it helps to build and develop trust. It potentially allows for the free flow of information between the client and worker and acknowledges that a client’s personal life and all the issues and problems that they have belong to them.”[4]

Be like a therapist: listen and withhold judgment.

NOTE: I must add here that while therapists keep everything in a session confidential, there are exceptions:

  1. If the client may be an immediate danger to himself or others.
  2. If the client is endangering a population that cannot protect itself, such as in the case of a child or elder abuse.

8. Maintain Eye Contact

When someone is talking, they are usually saying something they consider meaningful. They don’t want their listener reading a text, looking at their fingernails, or bending down to pet a pooch on the street. A speaker wants all eyes on them. It lets them know that what they’re saying has value.

Eye contact is very powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it’s more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can’t see your whole face, but they can definitely read your eyes.

By eye contact, I don’t mean a hard, creepy stare—just a gaze in the speaker’s direction will do. Make it a point the next time you’re in a conversation to maintain eye contact with your speaker. Avoid the temptation to look anywhere but at their face. I know it’s not easy, especially if you’re not interested in what they’re talking about. But as I said, you can redirect the conversation in a different direction or just let the person know you’ve got to get going.

Final Thoughts

Listening attentively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected due to smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical.

You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters.

And isn’t that a great goal? To make people feel as if they matter? So, go out and start honing those listening skills. You’ve got two great ears. Now use them!

More Tips on How to Be a Better Listener

Featured photo credit: Joshua Rodriguez via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Skills You Need: Active Listening
[2] Filtered: Body language for active listening
[3] Forbes: People Will Like You More If You Start Asking Follow-up Questions
[4] TAFE NSW Sydney eLearning Moodle: Confidentiality

Read Next