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50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her

50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her

Misunderstandings are the biggest problem in most relationships. Sometimes it can be solved easily, you just don’t know what it is exactly. It could be that she doesn’t feel loved.

When you love someone, you can easily take it for granted. But love is not something to think lightly about. It’s one of the most important things in life, because every other aspect is touched by it.

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But how do you show it? It may not come easy to everyone. Appreciating a person can be done in many ways. So I will help you on your way. Here are 50 ways to show her you really do love her:

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  1. Talk respectfully. Don’t make her feel like she is less important.
  2. Listen to her. Not just to the words she’s saying but to the feeling she tries to express.
  3. Compliment her. Be specific, so she knows you really mean it.
  4. Try to show interest in things she enjoys. Does she like cooking? Help her! Does she like sports? Play it with her! Does she like art? Watch it with her!
  5. Consider her opinion before making a decision. Ask her what she thinks and honestly consider it.
  6. Be forgiving. There is no better way to love someone than to openly forgive and forget. Holding a grudge will not improve your relationship.
  7. Plan a small trip. Take her to a place where you can spend quality time.
  8. Set goals together. If you know from each other what you are working toward, it is easier to support each other. Also, having goals together will bring you closer.
  9. Admit your mistakes. Being open and honest, showing that you too are imperfect will make her feel closer to you.
  10. Have her back. If you get in a situation where you have to choose between your wife and others, choose her. Especially when it is a situation with your family. She already feels like she took you away from them, she needs to feel that you don’t hold that against her.
  11. Give her a mini massage, like a back-rub. Who doesn’t enjoy attention like that?
  12. If she’s not feeling well, even just a headache, make sure you help her out as much as possible. She takes care of you all the time, so show her you appreciate that by taking care of her.
  13. When she asks you to help out with something, don’t respond annoyed. Show her you don’t mind giving a hand. She doesn’t enjoy everything she needs to do either, but someone has to do it.
  14. When you discus a serious subject, don’t go off joking around. Peacefully listen and talk.
  15. When having a conversation, look her in the eye. Show her that you are listening. Don’t get distracted.
  16. Spend as much time as possible with her. She wants to feel like she is the most important person in the world to you. Spending time is the number one thing you do with the number one person in your life.
  17. Put effort into looking good. Workout, shave, shower, put on some deodorant. Whatever makes her feel attracted to you, do it.
  18. Help out around the house, without special recognition! You don’t have to brag about doing something that she does every day.
  19. Be supportive. When she shows that something she wants to do means a lot to her, support her. I wanted to be a writer and told my husband, and see where I am today, writing!
  20. If she says something is bothering her, don’t ignore it. Talk about it. Small things that stay on your mind, will grow into big things that are hard to solve.
  21. Work on yourself. Everyone changes over time. When she mentions some behavior that she doesn’t appreciate, show her you are trying to improve on it.
  22. Surprise her. Give her a lovely card or letter. Show up with flowers. Buy her that bracelet she wanted. Anything small is good. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Surprises are what keep your relationship alive.
  23. When in a relaxed state, make her comfortable. For example, when watching tv, sit close and cuddle her or hold her hand.
  24. Let her know you think of her when you are not together, by texting or calling.
  25. Be pro-active. If she notices that you are trying the best you can at all times, she will respect you for that.
  26. Show affection in public. Hold her hand, give her a kiss, hug her. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to show her you love her, even when people can see it.
  27. Are you going to be later than expected? Let her know! She won’t feel important if you won’t even let her know that you’re late.
  28. Ask her what she’s insecure about. If you want to be the hero who helps her out, you should have an idea what’s she’s afraid of. There are a lot of unstable factors in life, so maybe you can help her with things like a job, place to live or even just letting her know she is important.
  29. Refuse to compare her to others. She is your number one! Why even start to compare? She has to be the only one you care about.
  30. When you started to fall in love, you were dating. Why change what’s good? Take her out on dates to stay in love!
  31. She probably makes dinner for you every night… Why not let her relax while you clean up afterwards? Or better, make dinner once in a while.
  32. If she’s feeling discouraged or hurt, hold her and tell her you love and care for her. She just needs to feel you are there for her at the times she needs you the most.
  33. Brag about her. When she’s around, and when she’s not around. Brag about her. Too many people talk negatively. You chose her, so brag about her.
  34. Let her be free to say what’s on her mind. When she speaks from the heart, don’t tell her her feelings aren’t important or dumb.
  35. Explore who she is. Try to know more about her. Talk about every subject you can think about. See what her viewpoint is on the deeper things in life. Ask as many questions as you can come up with.
  36. Don’t make her feel guilty. Don’t put your problems on her. If you have a problem, talk about it patiently.
  37. Make her something. Don’t just buy gifts, create them. Maybe you can make a journal about your relationship, noting down all the important things that happened and adding little memories to cherish.
  38. Take pictures with her. Ladies take a lot of pictures but they don’t have the same meaning as when you do it. Try to make a picture every time you’re together, that’s a way to capture a precious moment.
  39. When you’re around each other a lot, you have to deal with a lot of serious matters. Try to add in a little bit of fun by making a joke or tickling her. (Know when to stop, because you don’t want to annoy her.)
  40. Call her cute names. You don’t want to sound like a businessman by just using her name. But always using the same nickname can also get boring, so mix it up.
  41. Be strong enough to let her help you. When it comes to emotional things, you may need a little help. Let her help you. It’ll show trust and love.
  42. Don’t give love to expect it back. Don’t show her you care just to get it back. Give freely.
  43. Don’t see her as weak, but as precious. Women are usually more emotional than men. But that is not weak. She has to be the most important thing in your life. How can she be important if you look down on her? She is precious.
  44. Don’t just appreciate how she looks, also love her personality. If she knows you appreciate her for who she is and not just what she looks like, she will feel more love and appreciate you more.
  45. Realize that she is like a gift. Every day of your life with her, remember that she’s a gift in your life. You could be alone, taking care of yourself, but remember she’s there to take care of you too. Don’t take her for granted.
  46. Do what you say. When you agree on something, follow through. It may not be the easiest for you, but really do the best you can to do as you agreed on.
  47. Celebrate accomplishments. Don’t say ‘cool’ and keep on living life. If she did something she’s proud of or you’re proud of, let her know. Get a bottle of wine or get a little something to celebrate.
  48. Find out what she likes in bed and do that.
  49. Leave little notes around the house, with sweet messages, so every time she enters a room or uses a different appliance around the house, she has a little surprise. (I got this tip from my husband, who did this when I was feeling down. Made me feel amazing!)
  50. Tell her you love her! You can never say it often enough. Keep reminding her every day, hour, minute, that you love her!

And of course, almost everything on this list can be ways to show him you love him too!

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Featured photo credit: mari lezhava via unsplash.com

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Florence Carmen Bukasa

Florence is a happy wife and passionate writer who blogs about health, love and life.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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