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Last Updated on August 16, 2019

50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her

50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her

Misunderstandings are the biggest problem in most relationships. Sometimes it can be solved easily, you just don’t know what it is exactly. It could be that she doesn’t feel loved.

When you love someone, you can easily take it for granted. But love is not something to think lightly about. It’s one of the most important things in life, because every other aspect is touched by it.

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But how do you show it? It may not come easy to everyone. Appreciating a person can be done in many ways. So I will help you on your way. Here are 50 ways to show her you really do love her:

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  1. Talk respectfully. Don’t make her feel like she is less important.
  2. Listen to her. Not just to the words she’s saying but to the feeling she tries to express.
  3. Compliment her. Be specific, so she knows you really mean it.
  4. Try to show interest in things she enjoys. Does she like cooking? Help her! Does she like sports? Play it with her! Does she like art? Watch it with her!
  5. Consider her opinion before making a decision. Ask her what she thinks and honestly consider it.
  6. Be forgiving. There is no better way to love someone than to openly forgive and forget. Holding a grudge will not improve your relationship.
  7. Plan a small trip. Take her to a place where you can spend quality time.
  8. Set goals together. If you know from each other what you are working toward, it is easier to support each other. Also, having goals together will bring you closer.
  9. Admit your mistakes. Being open and honest, showing that you too are imperfect will make her feel closer to you.
  10. Have her back. If you get in a situation where you have to choose between your wife and others, choose her. Especially when it is a situation with your family. She already feels like she took you away from them, she needs to feel that you don’t hold that against her.
  11. Give her a mini massage, like a back-rub. Who doesn’t enjoy attention like that?
  12. If she’s not feeling well, even just a headache, make sure you help her out as much as possible. She takes care of you all the time, so show her you appreciate that by taking care of her.
  13. When she asks you to help out with something, don’t respond annoyed. Show her you don’t mind giving a hand. She doesn’t enjoy everything she needs to do either, but someone has to do it.
  14. When you discus a serious subject, don’t go off joking around. Peacefully listen and talk.
  15. When having a conversation, look her in the eye. Show her that you are listening. Don’t get distracted.
  16. Spend as much time as possible with her. She wants to feel like she is the most important person in the world to you. Spending time is the number one thing you do with the number one person in your life.
  17. Put effort into looking good. Workout, shave, shower, put on some deodorant. Whatever makes her feel attracted to you, do it.
  18. Help out around the house, without special recognition! You don’t have to brag about doing something that she does every day.
  19. Be supportive. When she shows that something she wants to do means a lot to her, support her. I wanted to be a writer and told my husband, and see where I am today, writing!
  20. If she says something is bothering her, don’t ignore it. Talk about it. Small things that stay on your mind, will grow into big things that are hard to solve.
  21. Work on yourself. Everyone changes over time. When she mentions some behavior that she doesn’t appreciate, show her you are trying to improve on it.
  22. Surprise her. Give her a lovely card or letter. Show up with flowers. Buy her that bracelet she wanted. Anything small is good. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Surprises are what keep your relationship alive.
  23. When in a relaxed state, make her comfortable. For example, when watching tv, sit close and cuddle her or hold her hand.
  24. Let her know you think of her when you are not together, by texting or calling.
  25. Be pro-active. If she notices that you are trying the best you can at all times, she will respect you for that.
  26. Show affection in public. Hold her hand, give her a kiss, hug her. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to show her you love her, even when people can see it.
  27. Are you going to be later than expected? Let her know! She won’t feel important if you won’t even let her know that you’re late.
  28. Ask her what she’s insecure about. If you want to be the hero who helps her out, you should have an idea what’s she’s afraid of. There are a lot of unstable factors in life, so maybe you can help her with things like a job, place to live or even just letting her know she is important.
  29. Refuse to compare her to others. She is your number one! Why even start to compare? She has to be the only one you care about.
  30. When you started to fall in love, you were dating. Why change what’s good? Take her out on dates to stay in love!
  31. She probably makes dinner for you every night… Why not let her relax while you clean up afterwards? Or better, make dinner once in a while.
  32. If she’s feeling discouraged or hurt, hold her and tell her you love and care for her. She just needs to feel you are there for her at the times she needs you the most.
  33. Brag about her. When she’s around, and when she’s not around. Brag about her. Too many people talk negatively. You chose her, so brag about her.
  34. Let her be free to say what’s on her mind. When she speaks from the heart, don’t tell her her feelings aren’t important or dumb.
  35. Explore who she is. Try to know more about her. Talk about every subject you can think about. See what her viewpoint is on the deeper things in life. Ask as many questions as you can come up with.
  36. Don’t make her feel guilty. Don’t put your problems on her. If you have a problem, talk about it patiently.
  37. Make her something. Don’t just buy gifts, create them. Maybe you can make a journal about your relationship, noting down all the important things that happened and adding little memories to cherish.
  38. Take pictures with her. Ladies take a lot of pictures but they don’t have the same meaning as when you do it. Try to make a picture every time you’re together, that’s a way to capture a precious moment.
  39. When you’re around each other a lot, you have to deal with a lot of serious matters. Try to add in a little bit of fun by making a joke or tickling her. (Know when to stop, because you don’t want to annoy her.)
  40. Call her cute names. You don’t want to sound like a businessman by just using her name. But always using the same nickname can also get boring, so mix it up.
  41. Be strong enough to let her help you. When it comes to emotional things, you may need a little help. Let her help you. It’ll show trust and love.
  42. Don’t give love to expect it back. Don’t show her you care just to get it back. Give freely.
  43. Don’t see her as weak, but as precious. Women are usually more emotional than men. But that is not weak. She has to be the most important thing in your life. How can she be important if you look down on her? She is precious.
  44. Don’t just appreciate how she looks, also love her personality. If she knows you appreciate her for who she is and not just what she looks like, she will feel more love and appreciate you more.
  45. Realize that she is like a gift. Every day of your life with her, remember that she’s a gift in your life. You could be alone, taking care of yourself, but remember she’s there to take care of you too. Don’t take her for granted.
  46. Do what you say. When you agree on something, follow through. It may not be the easiest for you, but really do the best you can to do as you agreed on.
  47. Celebrate accomplishments. Don’t say ‘cool’ and keep on living life. If she did something she’s proud of or you’re proud of, let her know. Get a bottle of wine or get a little something to celebrate.
  48. Find out what she likes in bed and do that.
  49. Leave little notes around the house, with sweet messages, so every time she enters a room or uses a different appliance around the house, she has a little surprise. (I got this tip from my husband, who did this when I was feeling down. Made me feel amazing!)
  50. Tell her you love her! You can never say it often enough. Keep reminding her every day, hour, minute, that you love her!

And of course, almost everything on this list can be ways to show him you love him too!

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Featured photo credit: mari lezhava via unsplash.com

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Florence Carmen Bukasa

Florence is a happy wife and passionate writer who blogs about health, love and life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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