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An Open Letter To My Old Friend: You May Have Forgotten Me, But I Have Not

An Open Letter To My Old Friend: You May Have Forgotten Me, But I Have Not

“I hope you know that no matter what, you have impacted my life in ways you can’t imagine.”

To My Old Friend,

I know that you must be wondering what happened to me after all of these years. Or, maybe I became one of your more far-distant memories, the kind of memory you can’t recall on your own because you don’t want to. The kind of memory that sneaks up on you in the middle of the day when you are at the mall or when you’re trying to decide if you should dump the guy your with and have no one to call. I hope you have new friends that are better able to take my place. I made mistakes with you that I will regret forever.

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While I can’t unwind time and correct those choices, I can send you this letter as a way of completing the circle, a circle that represents a friendship that, to this day, serves as a template for every single one of my friendships I’ve had since you.

No one since you can compare. No one since you have been as committed as you were to me and to my plans for the future. Instead of embracing your help and your advice, I battled you and feared you. I couldn’t accept your advice because I didn’t really believe in myself. You believed in me when I couldn’t. I abandoned you that one summer. I turned my back on you because I couldn’t face the hard work I would need to do in order to get my life back together. Up until then, you encouraged me to fight the good fight and offered to be my partner on my journey toward self-awareness. I wasn’t ready. I felt I had to go that path alone and it has been a lonely one.

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Today, I have fought tooth and nail to make progress in what I now know is my purpose. I couldn’t have done that without the seed you planted with me very early on. I will forever be grateful for the compass you let me borrow so long ago. Without you really knowing, I have taken you along with me every step of the way. I miss you. I miss your laughter and the nights where it was just you, me, and the trees. I will never forget the time you came to me for advice. The night when you had nowhere to go. I didn’t either. I remember feeling like I didn’t want to burden you and those gorgeous wings of yours. I set you free from me.

Please know that I would give anything to correct my damage with you and that I am genuinely in a better place to appreciate all that you have to offer a girl like me. I can do that because I believe in myself now and I finally believe that I am worthy of a friendship like the one we had once upon a time. My door is always open to you, for you, in whatever way you might ever need me.

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Love, Cherry Tigris

To Everyone Else I Might Have Fallen Out of Touch With Over the Years

I hope this letter touches you in much the same way I hope it will touch my dearest friend. No matter what, we all impact each other’s lives in a vast myriad of ways. We all own our own part of responsibility in the holding on and letting go necessary in our complicated lives. Sometimes, there is no identifiable reason for why we let go. I have spent a lifetime learning to not take these things too personally.

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When Writing a Love Letter to Your Long-Lost Friend:

Don’t take their lack of communication over the years with you personally, and be willing to make amends should you have something you feel you need to apologize for.

The quality of our character is dependent on our ability to come back to the table when an apology needs to be made. Or, maybe we just miss someone, and that special someone isn’t feeling so special about themselves anymore. When we summon the courage to reach out and make amends, only positive things can be gained out of the exchange. It is my sincere hope that a few of you will touch someone else’s lives today by writing your own unique love letter to a long-lost friend.

Featured photo credit: Paranamir via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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