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12 Signs You’re A Sensitive Person That Always Attracts People To Talk To You

12 Signs You’re A Sensitive Person That Always Attracts People To Talk To You

Life is filled with many ups and downs. All of us are confronted with our own set of challenges, faced with our own responsibilities, and shaped by our own experiences. Fortunately, this rollercoaster ride that is life can feel a lot smoother when you have people who support you. People who understand you and make you feel less alone. People who don’t judge but empathize. People who may not be able to fix your problems but want to help you through them. People whose sensitivity draws you to them.

Being a sensitive person and having the ability to recognize how others are feeling, is a very useful trait to have. Here are the 12 reasons why being sensitive can draw others to you.

1. You validate the feelings of others.

Many people find it difficult to talk about their feelings and emotions. They struggle with letting down their walls and showing their vulnerable side. It takes a lot of courage for them to admit that they’re not okay. By showing them kindness and compassion, you are acknowledging their feelings rather than dismissing them. As a result, people feel drawn to sensitive people because it’s this validation that helps them feel like they matter.

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2. You form your own opinions.

When we meet someone for the first time, it can be easy to make assumptions based on first impressions. It can feel tempting to listen to the gossiping of others and what people have to say about other people. But as a sensitive person, you know that wouldn’t be fair or just. You decide for yourself what you think of people. You believe that everyone deserves the chance to speak for themselves.

3. You keep an open mind.

In a time of crisis, people want to feel understood not judged. They don’t want to feel that they have to justify or defend their decisions. They don’t want to be stereotyped based on their age, gender, sexual orientation, culture, or religion. People will open up to those who they feel they can trust – who are easy going, friendly and accepting of those who are different to them. If you’re someone who wouldn’t want to treat anyone differently, chances are that people who meet you realize this too and appreciate this about you.

4. You help others feel less alone.

When someone is going through a difficult time, they may not necessarily need practical advice. They may simply want a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to their problems, someone to make them feel less alone. If you’re someone that people often run to when life isn’t going too well, then feel proud of yourself. Life can be challenging for all of us, and taking time out of our day to help someone else is something to be admired.

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5. You remind others that they are important.

Sensitive people help others feel valued through the way that they communicate. They pay close attention to what people have to say. They ask questions to show that they care. You might have a loved one who’s been feeling unwell, so you ask whether they’re feeling any better. Your friend might be studying hard for their exams, so you wish them good luck and remind them to have a rest. It’s not always what we say that matters most, but the meaning behind what we say that does. 

6. You provide the right kind of encouragement.

Sensitive people know that the ‘tough love’ approach does not always work. That telling someone to “get over it” simply discourages them from talking about their feelings. It doesn’t help them feel any better. If you’re someone who is encouraging, who believes in others even when they don’t believe in themselves, and/or often knows the right thing to say – then what you’re doing is making a difference in someone else’s life. Your sensitivity is helping those around you.

7. You help others make sense of their own feelings.

Sometimes, when we’re experiencing some form of ‘negative’ emotion – whether it be sadness, anger, disappointment etc – we may feel too overwhelmed to know exactly what it is that we’re feeling. But when someone shows us sensitivity and listens without judgement, they are often able to find the words that we can’t. This helps others through the pain they’re feeling and it also strengthens the bond between us and our loved one.

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8. You show others that it’s okay to feel upset.

Sensitive persons often set very good examples for other people. They try their best not to pretend to be someone that they’re not. There are days where they are happy and smiling. There are also days where they’re upset. If you’re someone who knows that crying isn’t a weakness and understands how important it is to express feelings and emotions – then people around you will learn to feel the same. Rather than bottling up how they feel, others around you will become a much more authentic version of themselves.

9. You help others to see the positive.

When we’re going through a challenging time, it’s not always easy to see the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. More often than not, it may feel like there isn’t one. But sensitive people are very aware of the ‘negative’ emotions that others are feeling. They want to help others escape their negative mindset. They know how to validate the feelings of others, instil hope and remind them that they will be okay.

10. You spread kindness.

By being sensitive to how others are feeling, you are being kind. You are adding value to other people’s lives. You are helping them believe that they can overcome their problems. That someone cares and they’re not alone. That kindness will have a ripple effect and spread kindness to the next person.

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11. You remind others that they are human.

We are all human. We make mistakes. We don’t always do the ‘right’ thing. We are still learning as we go. So, when someone comes along and reminds us that we don’t have to be ‘perfect’, that we don’t have to put on a fake smile all the time, a massive weight is lifted off our shoulders. We’re reminded that we’re allowed to be upset. If you’re sensitive in such a way, know that your actions and words are helping others in more ways than you realize.

12. You see the value in working together.

The beautiful thing about life is that we don’t have to do it alone. We have the chance to share new experiences, we have the power to influence each other’s lives for the better, we are all in this together. When you are sensitive to how others are feeling, you are following the principle that ‘two minds are better than one’. You are reminding others that despite the fact that we are our own individuals, we are also interconnected. That true family and friends do not let each other go through challenges alone. That there is so much strength and power that comes from working together and being there for one another.

Featured photo credit: John Mark Arnold via magdeleine.co

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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