Advertising
Advertising

12 Signs You’re A Sensitive Person That Always Attracts People To Talk To You

12 Signs You’re A Sensitive Person That Always Attracts People To Talk To You

Life is filled with many ups and downs. All of us are confronted with our own set of challenges, faced with our own responsibilities, and shaped by our own experiences. Fortunately, this rollercoaster ride that is life can feel a lot smoother when you have people who support you. People who understand you and make you feel less alone. People who don’t judge but empathize. People who may not be able to fix your problems but want to help you through them. People whose sensitivity draws you to them.

Being a sensitive person and having the ability to recognize how others are feeling, is a very useful trait to have. Here are the 12 reasons why being sensitive can draw others to you.

1. You validate the feelings of others.

Many people find it difficult to talk about their feelings and emotions. They struggle with letting down their walls and showing their vulnerable side. It takes a lot of courage for them to admit that they’re not okay. By showing them kindness and compassion, you are acknowledging their feelings rather than dismissing them. As a result, people feel drawn to sensitive people because it’s this validation that helps them feel like they matter.

Advertising

2. You form your own opinions.

When we meet someone for the first time, it can be easy to make assumptions based on first impressions. It can feel tempting to listen to the gossiping of others and what people have to say about other people. But as a sensitive person, you know that wouldn’t be fair or just. You decide for yourself what you think of people. You believe that everyone deserves the chance to speak for themselves.

3. You keep an open mind.

In a time of crisis, people want to feel understood not judged. They don’t want to feel that they have to justify or defend their decisions. They don’t want to be stereotyped based on their age, gender, sexual orientation, culture, or religion. People will open up to those who they feel they can trust – who are easy going, friendly and accepting of those who are different to them. If you’re someone who wouldn’t want to treat anyone differently, chances are that people who meet you realize this too and appreciate this about you.

4. You help others feel less alone.

When someone is going through a difficult time, they may not necessarily need practical advice. They may simply want a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to their problems, someone to make them feel less alone. If you’re someone that people often run to when life isn’t going too well, then feel proud of yourself. Life can be challenging for all of us, and taking time out of our day to help someone else is something to be admired.

Advertising

5. You remind others that they are important.

Sensitive people help others feel valued through the way that they communicate. They pay close attention to what people have to say. They ask questions to show that they care. You might have a loved one who’s been feeling unwell, so you ask whether they’re feeling any better. Your friend might be studying hard for their exams, so you wish them good luck and remind them to have a rest. It’s not always what we say that matters most, but the meaning behind what we say that does. 

6. You provide the right kind of encouragement.

Sensitive people know that the ‘tough love’ approach does not always work. That telling someone to “get over it” simply discourages them from talking about their feelings. It doesn’t help them feel any better. If you’re someone who is encouraging, who believes in others even when they don’t believe in themselves, and/or often knows the right thing to say – then what you’re doing is making a difference in someone else’s life. Your sensitivity is helping those around you.

7. You help others make sense of their own feelings.

Sometimes, when we’re experiencing some form of ‘negative’ emotion – whether it be sadness, anger, disappointment etc – we may feel too overwhelmed to know exactly what it is that we’re feeling. But when someone shows us sensitivity and listens without judgement, they are often able to find the words that we can’t. This helps others through the pain they’re feeling and it also strengthens the bond between us and our loved one.

Advertising

8. You show others that it’s okay to feel upset.

Sensitive persons often set very good examples for other people. They try their best not to pretend to be someone that they’re not. There are days where they are happy and smiling. There are also days where they’re upset. If you’re someone who knows that crying isn’t a weakness and understands how important it is to express feelings and emotions – then people around you will learn to feel the same. Rather than bottling up how they feel, others around you will become a much more authentic version of themselves.

9. You help others to see the positive.

When we’re going through a challenging time, it’s not always easy to see the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. More often than not, it may feel like there isn’t one. But sensitive people are very aware of the ‘negative’ emotions that others are feeling. They want to help others escape their negative mindset. They know how to validate the feelings of others, instil hope and remind them that they will be okay.

10. You spread kindness.

By being sensitive to how others are feeling, you are being kind. You are adding value to other people’s lives. You are helping them believe that they can overcome their problems. That someone cares and they’re not alone. That kindness will have a ripple effect and spread kindness to the next person.

Advertising

11. You remind others that they are human.

We are all human. We make mistakes. We don’t always do the ‘right’ thing. We are still learning as we go. So, when someone comes along and reminds us that we don’t have to be ‘perfect’, that we don’t have to put on a fake smile all the time, a massive weight is lifted off our shoulders. We’re reminded that we’re allowed to be upset. If you’re sensitive in such a way, know that your actions and words are helping others in more ways than you realize.

12. You see the value in working together.

The beautiful thing about life is that we don’t have to do it alone. We have the chance to share new experiences, we have the power to influence each other’s lives for the better, we are all in this together. When you are sensitive to how others are feeling, you are following the principle that ‘two minds are better than one’. You are reminding others that despite the fact that we are our own individuals, we are also interconnected. That true family and friends do not let each other go through challenges alone. That there is so much strength and power that comes from working together and being there for one another.

Featured photo credit: John Mark Arnold via magdeleine.co

More by this author

How People Who Lack Attention In Their Childhood Love Differently If You Have Forgotten How To Love Yourself, You Need To Read This 10 Reasons Why Parents Should Treat Their Kids As Adults 14 Things That We Shouldn’t Say to Our Partners Anymore (and What to Say Instead) 12 Signs You’re A Sensitive Person That Always Attracts People To Talk To You

Trending in Communication

1 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 2 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 3 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 4 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next