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6 Important Lifestyle Tips for Expecting Moms

6 Important Lifestyle Tips for Expecting Moms

Most girls and women dream of one day becoming a mom. They want to have a big family, with at least two children, and they often pick out names for them, before they are even pregnant. And when that moment comes, when a woman hears that she is really expecting, it is the happiest news in the world for her. Moreover, it is probably the happiest moment of her life. During pregnancy, every woman starts preparing the necessary things for her child. She even starts preparing herself by reading pregnancy books and trying to find out as much useful information as possible. However, this whole preparation for the future takes away focus from the present. Many moms-to-be forget that it is important to take care of themselves first. If they do that, they are at the same time taking care of their unborn baby. Lucky for those moms, there are a few ways in which they can adjust their lifestyle in order to be healthier and happier, all in favour of their baby.

1. Stay active with some light exercises

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    Even though you might feel like you can barely move while pregnant, a little bit of exercise won’t harm you. If you are active, this will help you stay fit, first of all. Too much weight gain is not healthy. Neither for you nor for the baby. You should consult someone on how much you should gain and how to manage a steady increase of weight. This will also improve your mood and prepare you for childbirth. The more you are active, the better. Nowadays, there are many fitness centers that offer prenatal packages. You can do yoga, or some general exercises. Additionally, you can go swimming. It is not highly demanding, plus it has a relaxing effect. What is more, you can go on daily walks in the nearest park. In general, any kind of activity will be good for you.

    2. Have a healthy diet

    During pregnancy, you have to eat for both you and your baby. However, this doesn’t mean you have to eat twice as much, or as often. It means that you have to be careful of what you consume. First of all, no junk food. It is not good for you in general, and during pregnancy, it would be best if you avoided it. Secondly, putting a little bit more vegetables on your plate would be beneficial as well. Or, try eating more fruit. The one word you need to remember is healthy. Think about it when you go grocery shopping. So, a balanced and nutritious diet is what you need. The best thing you can do is talk to a doctor or a nutritionist who would suggest what to eat and how much. That would be the safest way.

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    3. Take your supplements and vitamins

    Besides eating healthy and beneficial food, you should start taking some vitamins and supplements. Once you find out that you are pregnant, the best thing is to check with your doctor about this issue. They are considered stimulating; therefore, they will be good for the both of you. The best option would be to take prenatal vitamins which can improve your health and decrease any chances of the baby having health problems. There are many types of these prenatal vitamins, and each of them carries their own benefits.

    4. Embrace your pregnancy

    Pregnant Happy smiling Woman sitting on a sofa and caressing her belly. Mom Expecting Baby. Pregnant Woman Belly. Pregnancy. Beautiful Pregnant Woman. Maternity concept. Baby Shower

      Probably the most essential thing you can do is embrace the condition you are in. Even though it can be tough – having morning sickness or going to the toilet all the time – in the end, it is a wonderful period of your life. You are creating a new human being. It is all happening there, inside of you. Without a doubt, pregnancy is magical. So, don’t put yourself down or be negative. Welcome it with open arms. You and your partner will feel blissful during these nine months. You will be happier than before, and more connected. Just imagine all the planning for the nursery, buying baby clothes, planning the baby shower and picking out names. Truly an amazing time. Moreover, everyone will try and help you out. Because you are the one carrying the baby, everyone around you will try to make this period easier for you. You can just sit back and relax.

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      5. Don’t over-work yourself

      If you are a working expecting mom, you should consider taking a pregnancy leave or cutting down on working hours. Of course, you would need to consult with your boss to check your options. But if you can, try to not over-work yourself, or be too stressed. The pregnancy itself will be demanding enough, so you do not need the extra baggage. If you really have to work, then you should adjust your schedule to your pregnancy needs. Make to-do lists and prioritize your tasks. This is how you will avoid the overflow of work. Follow your schedule and all will be fine. In addition to this, evade any arguments with colleagues. There is no need to stress over that, too. Also, avoid lifting heavy objects or spending too much time on your feet, if your job is of that kind. Limit yourself according to your capabilities.

      6. Educate yourself

      Portrait of a healthy young lady expecting a baby enjoying leisure at home

        Obviously, pregnancy is a new thing, if you are a first-time mom-to-be. It is a life changing event that will alter everything. Your friends will change, your work can be affected – not to mention your emotions and the way you think. In the end, your set schedule will have to be altered. Once the baby comes, you and your partner will have to change a lot about yourselves. Even during pregnancy, you can start changing, and you will. This is why you need to educate yourself about the state you are in. For sure, your friends and family will give you advice about pregnancy and what you are supposed to do, or how you are supposed to behave. Nevertheless, you should consult a professional first. Find a good doctor and ask everything you want to know. Maybe even start going to a pregnancy consulting group. You can listen to other pregnant women there, and their experiences. Moreover, you can find good books on pregnancy, and about babies. You will have nine full months to read them and learn. Try and learn as much as you can, so you would be prepared for all of it. Even better, make your partner read the books, as well. If both of you know things, it would be better for you and for the baby.

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        You can take a hint from every step on this list, but just remember that, at the end of the day, it is important that you are happy and satisfied. Pregnancy is a bliss, and you should keep it that way, no matter what. You should rejoice and look forward to that little bundle of joy that you will get to hold into your arms in just a few months.

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        Djordje Todorovic

        Blogger, Gamer Extraordinaire

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        Published on December 20, 2019

        Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

        Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

        Kate sits down to the dinner table and is eager to be a good girl and eat her dinner like her Mom and Dad want her to do. She is a sweet girl who wants the approval of her parents very much. It is not always easy though. During dinner, she stands up and starts to leave the table because she has to use the bathroom. Her Dad yells at her to sit back down. He tells her “we don’t just get up from the dinner table, we wait and ask to be excused after everyone is finished eating.” She begins to protest, wanting to explain that she needs to use the bathroom. Her father becomes more upset with her and yells at her that she is now talking back and she is not allowed to say another word at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating and then she can be excused.

        Unfortunately for Kate, she can’t hold it, and she has a little accident because she is too fearful to say a word to her Dad. She doesn’t want to get yelled at anymore. She also knows that in her home, kids don’t have a say. What Mom and Dad say is like words carved into stone. They are strict beyond reason and they will not bend their rules. Therefore, Kate felt that she had no choice in the matter and when she could no longer hold it. There was nothing she could do about it.

        Kate’s parents are an example of authoritarian parenting. They are strict, they are not emotionally engaged with their children, and they have very high expectations for their children. This type of parenting style leaves children feeling disconnected from their parents.

        Kate wanted to communicate to her parents that she had to use the restroom, but she couldn’t even get her words out because her parents have such strict rules and demands of her. They did not care to hear what she had to say, because upholding their rules was more important to them. In their household, a child’s opinions and feelings do not matter.

        This kind of strict parenting is not helpful for children. It can damage a child and leave them with low self-esteem, mental health issues, and doing poor academically among other problems cited by research in Parenting Science.[1]

        What Does Authoritarian Parenting Look Like?

        In the 1960’s, a researcher and theorist by the name of Baumrind established the well known theory of parenting styles. Those four parenting styles, which are well known today, are authoritarian, authoritative, passive, and neglectful. For proactive parents that are trying hard to be good parents, they will usually lean toward either authoritarian or authoritative.

        Authoritarian parenting involves strict parenting and high expectations for children. This can sound reasonable and even like good parenting. However, the strict parenting is often characterized by lack of compassion toward the child, little to no flexibility in rules, and complete control sought over the child’s behavior.

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        Parents who use this parenting style believe it is their job to control the will and behavior of their children. An article in Psychology Today explains how authoritarian parents operate:[2]

        Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent. They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Authoritarian parents see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority—the parent, the church, the teacher. Willfulness is seen to be the root of unhappiness, bad behavior, and sin. Thus, a loving parent is one who tries to break the will of the child.

        For example, Jake has authoritarian parents. He wants to stay out past curfew on a school night because he has an opportunity to play in a jazz ensemble. He has been playing the saxophone for years and his ambition is to play in a college jazz ensemble.

        With Jake still being in high school, his parents have a curfew. On school nights, it is 8:00 pm. This rule is instituted because his parents believe they need to ensure that Jake gets his school work done each night and that he needs to be well rested for school the next day. However, they don’t explain the why of their rules to him, they simply tell him that those are their rules. The jazz ensemble is practicing at 8:00 pm on a Thursday night and they have invited Jake to come play with them. It is a well known group and a huge opportunity for Jake.

        Unfortunately, his parents say no. Their authoritarian parenting style is unwavering. He wants to discuss the opportunity and its importance, but his parents will not even entertain the conversation. They stop him mid-sentence and go over their rules again. There is no flexibility.

        If Jake’s parents had been authoritative, they would have taken the time to hear out his case and would likely have granted him a later curfew for that one instance. They would see that, although they have a curfew, there are some instances when an opportunity is worth bending the rules. They would ask that he has his homework done before going to play with the group, and that he come home as soon as the practice was finished.

        Authoritative parents have rules, but they are also flexible based on reasonable requests for exceptions. The authoritative parents are interested in how their children are thinking and feeling. Conversely, authoritarian parents are not likely to be interested in hearing their child’s thoughts and feelings, because they want to control the will of their child, not come to some middle ground.

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        Here are some characteristics of authoritarian parenting:

        • They have strict rules that are unyielding and unwavering. This is often called “heavy handed parenting.”
        • They do not want input from the child about rules. They also feel that the child’s opinion does not matter, because they are the parent thus are the supreme authority over the child.
        • There are severe punishments when rules are broken.
        • There is an emotional disconnection between parent and child, because the parent is not interested in what the child thinks or feels. They are more interested in controlling the behavior of the child and having the child be compliant to their rules.
        • Children are expected to listen to their parents and follow the rules, there are no exceptions. A child that voices their objections will likely be punished for doing so.
        • The parents have high expectations, especially when it comes to compliance of their rules.
        • Parents expect that their child will be obedient and they do not need to explain the “why” of their rules and expectations. Compliance is expected out of sheer obedience, not because the child understands the reasons why the rules are set. Parents do not feel the need to explain why they set their rules.
        • There is a failure to have attached relationships between parent and child because of the overly dominant nature of authoritarian parents and their unwillingness to allow their children to have their own voice or free will.

        Authoritarian parents are driven by a belief that they need to control their children. This means controlling their children’s behavior to an extreme. They are inflexible and don’t take into account the child’s desires, emotions, or well-being as being as important to enforcing rules to get the desired outcome. Authoritative parents on the other hand, seek to guide and direct their children instead of control. There is a distinction.

        The Problems of Authoritarian Parenting

        Authoritarian parenting has many negative consequences to children. Children who are raised in homes with extreme authoritarian parenting are more likely to become dependent on drugs and alcohol, have lower academic performance, and increased mental health issues according to Parenting for Brain.[3] Children who are raised with authoritarian parents are also more likely to have lower self esteem, inability to make decisive choices, and have social skills that are lacking.

        When a child is raised to be taught day in and day out that their voice does not matter, then that child will likely be ingrained with that belief. They will not value their own opinions because they have been taught that what they think does not matter and is of no value. This leads to poor self-esteem and low self-worth.

        If a child doesn’t believe that their thoughts matter, then what they think about themselves overall is going to be affected. They will not think highly of themselves or believe that what they think, say, or do is of value. This will contribute to low self-esteem long term.

        Social skills will suffer because a child who comes from an authoritarian home will be trained to believe that nobody wants to hear their opinion and that relationships are based on compliance.

        For example, Judy is raised in an authoritarian home. She is now 18 years old and has her first boyfriend. Anytime that he asks something of her, even if she internally disagrees, she feels that she is supposed to comply and do what he says in order for him to like her and continue wanting to be with her.

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        He wants to have sex. She does not feel that she is ready, but she will not voice this to her boyfriend because she doesn’t think that her opinion will matter or that he will want to listen to what she is feeling. She goes along with sex in their relationship to be compliant. She doesn’t want to be punished by disagreeing with not having sex. He says that they are ready for that next step in the relationship and she fears that the consequence of saying no would be that he ends the relationship.

        Therefore, she doesn’t even voice her thoughts or feelings on the situation because she doesn’t think they have value or will be heard anyway.

        She has been taught by her parents that her opinions and feelings don’t matter. She has learned from the past 18 years with her parents that what matters most is that she is compliant. She gets along with her parents best when she is doing exactly what they want her to do. This is why she feels the need to do the same with her boyfriend.

        Going along with his decisions, being compliant, and not voicing her feelings will keep the relationship going and avoid conflict or punishment. The ultimate punishment in her mind would be that he ends the relationship.

        With her opinions never being valued by those who she has loved the most (her parents), she has learned that she should not voice her opinion if she wants to keep the other person in the relationship happy. In her mind, because of how she has been raised, compliance overrides all else, and her opinion is meaningless.

        However, her boyfriend is not her parents. He is understanding and would want to know how she feels. He wants a long term relationship with her and he loves her so much. His true desire is for her to be happy. He would never want her to have sex if she wasn’t feeling the same way that he was feeling. He would gladly wait and would want to hear what she thinks and feels about taking their relationship to the next level.

        Authoritarian parenting methods can inflict great harm on a child. The child becomes emotionally damaged because they grow up believing that their opinions, thoughts, and feelings do not matter. Instead they are taught that compliance and being obedient supersedes all else.

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        The Solution

        The solution is to move from authoritarian parenting methods to authoritative parenting practices.

        Authoritative parenting has been deemed as the best parenting method by researchers, according to Psychology Today. Parents who use authoritative parenting methods have rules for their children, but they are not looking for blind compliance. They recognize that having a relationship with their child is of great importance and therefore valuing the child’s voice, opinions, and thoughts is important.

        Authoritative parents seek to guide and direct their children, but they do not seek to control the will of their child.

        Parenting Coach Plan explains the foundation of authoritative parenting as the following:[4]

        Authoritative parenting can be described as a style of parenting that combines firm limits and clear boundaries with fair and consistent discipline. Authoritative parents are also nurturing, highly-involved, and willing to speak openly with their child regarding expectations and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations. Rules are enforced and fair consequences are put in place for when those rules are broken.

        Children raised in authoritative homes follow the rules because they understand the “why” of the rules. They are also bonded to their parents because they are able to talk to their parents openly. This bond helps nurture a positive home environment and a two-way relationship that can last a lifetime.

        To learn more about how to be an authoritative parent and how to discipline a child using this parenting method, check out my article:

        How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

        Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

        Reference

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