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9 Ways Mentally Strong People Retain Their Personal Power

9 Ways Mentally Strong People Retain Their Personal Power

We can look at different aspects of someone’s personality to try and gauge what makes them seem to radiate power as soon as they walk into a room or during discussions and stressful situations, but the one thing that stands out the most is a distinct psychological fortitude. For a mentally strong person, projecting an aura of confidence and toughness seems to come naturally, as if they aren’t even aware of it – but there is a method to it.

There are a number of things that these people do that help them firmly cement their high social status and establish themselves as trustworthy leaders, skilled experts and people in possession of admirable characteristics. We will be looking at the 9 main ways of keeping your personal power, even when faced with great adversity and toxic people.

1. They don’t worry about what others think

Don’t get me wrong, being able to empathize with others and accurately gauge how they feel and think are essentials traits for anyone who wants to become successful, but you don’t want to try to please everyone all the time. Understanding people, social norms and proper protocol is one thing, but you should never allow yourself to make decisions solely based on what others might think. Mentally strong people aren’t afraid to be themselves and make their own decisions, and that’s what gives them power.

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2. They don’t wait for others to solve their problems

One of the main characteristics of mentally strong and powerful people is that they are doers. These people are confident and even a little boastful, but they can back up their claims, and they are active – they solve problems, jump on opportunities and aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. This gives them a good amount of self-reliance, which in turn makes them incredibly resistant to attempts by others to take away their power.

3. They admit their shortcoming and continually strive to improve

While some people like to take shortcuts and aren’t above padding up their resumes with fake achievements and presenting themselves as something that they’re not, they are not acting from a place of true power. It is weakness that causes men and women to try to hide their shortcomings from themselves and blatantly lie to others about their skills, knowledge and competence.

To maintain a position of power, you must be able to admit that you have faults, and be willing to work hard on becoming a person that people respect and admire.

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4. They don’t wear their emotions on their sleeve

You cannot hope to retain personal power and project confidence if you keep exploding and throwing temper tantrums every time someone disagrees with you or says something that offends you. If everyone can instantly see that you are happy with something, sad, angry or disinterested, there is no way for you tactfully dominate the situation – in fact, you need to be aware of the things that trigger these emotional responses in you, and work on keeping your cool during heated arguments. This is how you retain a dominant position during an argument, and it’s how you build up a reputation as a level-headed and strong individual.

5. They make an actual effort to stay positive and relaxed

Just as mentally strong people don’t rely on others to solve their problems for them, or for those problems to magically resolve themselves, they also don’t wait around for others to motivate and cheer them up or the universe itself to align just right and give them what they need to be happy. Staying calm, relaxed and positive requires continual effort; anyone can flip out and resort to worrying, but it takes a special kind of mindset to acknowledge the harsh reality and still be able to keep pushing forward. It’s their ability to remain calm and positive, and their resolve to always find some time to relax, that makes these people stand out.

6. They think carefully before they act or speak

We’ve talked a lot about getting things done and trying to learn from mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be impulsive or actively seek out situations where you will be put on the spot. One of the most important fail-safe mechanisms for keeping your personal power at an admirable level is the ability to keep your mouth shut until you know what you need to say to tip the odds in your favor.

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No matter how emphatic and caring you are, the bottom line is that you need things to work out a certain way for you to be satisfied, and it’s not always going to be in everyone’s best interest that the situation unfolds the way you want it to. This is why you need to take the time to think things through and find the right approach, tone and words before doing or saying something.

7. They have a strong sense of self-worth and are assertive

It’s easy to take someone’s power away if the person does not know their own worth and can’t effectively set boundaries. The main thing is not to give other’s power over you, while at the same time protecting yourself from attacks aimed at eroding aspects of your power and confidence. You don’t have to resort to shouting or offending anyone – you just need to be assertive and unyielding when it comes to your core values. A good negotiator will make a couple of steps back if need be or make compromises, but they will also know when to stand their ground.

8. They leave their ego at home and look for logical solutions

Erratic emotions are only part of the reason why people lose their personal power and the respect of others during difficult social encounters; another big problem is ego-driven decision-making. It’s not always as clear as someone losing their temper, breaking into tears or going on a tirade about how their feelings are hurt, but the ego has a nasty habit of making everything seem personal.

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It is also the main reason why people get into heated arguments and even fistfights over trivial issues, and that is not something that a person that emanates power and confidence will ever do.

9. They create a realistic schedule for themselves

When you’ve covered all the important psychological aspects involved in retaining personal power and can exhibit a good deal of self-control and restraint, without sacrificing your integrity or giving your power away, it’s time to delve into the practical side of things. You can’t accomplish much if you don’t know how to organize your life, and the first step is being honest with yourself.

Be honest about what you can and cannot do, the time it takes to complete certain tasks and the myriad of smaller tasks related to the main one. For example going to the gym involves preparation, driving, changing, warming up, the actual workout, drying off, changing, driving home, a shower, another change of clothes and a post-workout meal. Even if it’s a short 30 minute workout, you won’t be going anywhere for a good hour or two, and you’ll have to schedule around it or potentially do the workout at another time or even tomorrow.

Some people are more naturally gifted and skilled in the ways of mental toughness, but developing, projecting and protecting your personal power are things that can be learned through lots of practice. As long as you know the right way to do so, you can become mentally strong and take full control of your own life.

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Nemanja Manojlovic

Editor at MyCity Web

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

  • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
  • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
  • Answer a few Superpower Questions

Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

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This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

5. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo

Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

  • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
  • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
  • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward.

Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

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7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

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“You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

Final Thoughts

Eleanor Roosevelt said,

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

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Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

Reference

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