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21 Little Things Every Parent Can Do To Make Kids Really Feel Loved

21 Little Things Every Parent Can Do To Make Kids Really Feel Loved

It’s easy to say “I love you,” but talk is cheap and kids are clever. They know it’s not enough to hear those three famous words, if they’re not backed up with some kind of reinforcement. It could also be some sort of action, like something that’s going to make your kids laugh or smile, or something that will ultimately result in them feeling loved. These are the gestures that will always be remembered.

Many of these gestures can be made on an ad hoc basis, simply by paying attention to your child’s world. By viewing the world from their perspective, you have a better chance of reaching them and impressing on them.

Here are 21 little things every parent can do to make their kids feel loved. I hope you enjoy trying these out at home.

Draw on Their Banana

My kids love when I do this. If they bring a banana to school, draw a face on the skin of the banana with the words “EAT ME” in a speech bubble. You can even put glasses on the banana or a mustache to mix it up a little. Kids really love this. They love to show their teacher and friends too.  Also, it’s a good way to get them to eat their banana.

Make a Gift

Kids love creating things out of cardboard and glitter, but they will feel appreciated and loved if you also rolled up your sleeves and made something special for them, like a mobile for their room, a rocket ship, or a princesses’ house. It only takes a little imagination, some paint, and some cardboard. Think about the things that your kids are really passionate about and make something in that theme. Not only will they feel loved because you went to such an effort for them, they will also feel inspired to make something themselves.

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Make Talk Time a Priority

Leave aside fifteen minutes a day to just sit and talk to your child about what’s going on in their life right now. Gently probe for information on the times you are not with them (e.g school and the nursery). In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we forget about the importance of re-grouping with our kids. They will feel loved because you are interested enough to ask and follow through on different issues. It doesn’t have to be a very serious conversation, it can even be fun. It’s really just an opportunity to stay in tune  with your child’s life.

Make a Collage

Kids love photos – especially if they are in them. Make a beautiful collage for their bedroom with pictures of your child since birth. This will give them a very good sense of themselves, of who they are, and how they are growing up so much. Increasing self-esteem in a child will result in a feeling of  self-love. This is a very important  part of development. You will be helping to bring this about with this small gesture.

Read a Chapter of a Book

Make a commitment to read a chapter of a book with your kids every night. They will love it even more if you put in the effort of reading with expression and enthusiasm. They will really enjoy this close time with you and they will go off to sleep feeling safe and loved.

Put on a Costume

Kids love it when their parents are silly. Get up fifteen minutes before your kids wake in the morning and put on a silly costume. This might be easier to do when you don’t have to rush off to work. Dress up as anything (a pirate, a witch, a princess), the sillier the better. Then, go on in there and wake them up. Watch their faces. They love it! If you act out the part a bit they will really appreciate it. Fancy them being able to tell their teachers and friends on Monday morning that Daddy was a pirate on the weekend.

Have a Game of Making Up Stories

Your kids really value the time that you give to them. Making up stories is a perfect example of how you can tell them you love them. Take it in turns. Make sure you listen well to their story and laugh at all the right times. Make comments and encourage them to keep going. When it’s your turn, make the stories about them and use your imagination as much as you can. Include things you know they like (their pets, favorite food, favorite colors, or toys). This is good for everyone’s imagination. Most importantly, it brings us closer to our kids.

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Cook Them their Favorite Meal

One day after school, cook them their favorite meal or take them out to a restaurant. Include a treat for afterwards and forget about all the rules. Rules are for breaking. Plus, your child will never forget the day you let them break the rules for “just for one day”. These memories last and help us feel really special. You could also let your kids stay up late as a treat every now and then. You can watch a family movie together. These are the memories we hang onto.

Send Them Joke Texts

Kids love jokes, so why not send your kids a joke during the day on their phone. You will find some good jokes online that will be suitable for their age group. This is a fun way to get closer to your kids and it only takes a minute. Your kids will be delighted by your sense of humor and the fact that your text wasn’t a warning to do their homework or practice violin.

Put a Surprise Under their Pillow

We all love surprises, especially kids. This doesn’t have to be expensive, just get a small gift, like maybe a new book or a card game. You can put it under their pillow if they’ve been co-operative during the week. Sometimes small gifts are more powerful than big ones because the element of surprise reminds them that they are loved.

Label Their Belongings

Believe it or not, something as small and simple as putting a child’s name on their belongings can go a long way towards helping them feel loved. In order to feel loved, a child must first have a sense of belonging. What better way to help them feel like they belong than to label things they own like their school bag, retainer, bottles, bedroom door, coat hooks, breakfast dishes, and  art corner. Older children might not like having so many labels, but for younger children this works like a treat.

Go on Field Trips with Them

If you can, try to attend field trips, football matches, and recitals. It’s hard to be everywhere all at once and sometimes it’s just not possible; however, your attendance at these events means a lot to your kids.

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Make a “Life Story” Book

Buy a large blank scrap book. Start at the front page by pasting in pictures of your kids as young babies. Write some details about your kids weight at birth (etc.) underneath. You can paste in all kinds of pictures. Pick anything that your kid would enjoy. Include family members, pets, grandparents, and neighbors. This helps the child understand that they are part of a loving group of people. Write silly things where appropriate. Make it fun! Your kids can play an active role in what is to be included in the book once you’ve got things established. This is wonderful for your child’s self-esteem.

Give Them their Own Jobs

Kids need a sense of purpose in order to feel loved. Why not help them with that by giving them jobs to do around the house. Select something that is age appropriate and not to difficult for them, of course.

Try Some Decoupage

This is a very old craft that is now back in fashion and used to brighten up old furniture quite a bit. I painted a mirror frame white and cut out some pictures of butterflies. I carefully pasted each butterfly onto the corner of the mirror and popped on a little photo cut-out of my daughter’s face. I then varnished over it a few times before I showed it to her. It took her ages to find herself in the picture, but when she did she was absolutely delighted. YouTube has some great videos on decoupage for inspiration. As added incentive, it only costs a few dollars for varnish and glue.

Make a Power Point Presentation

You may be making presentations every day at work, but did you ever think of making one to your kids? If the presentation is about them, they’ll love it. Include relevant images and use the opportunity to say what you want them to hear. Maybe you want to praise them for a job well done. Maybe you want to talk about plans for the future or the holidays. Maybe you could make some sort of a deal with them, like if they do as you say, they will get something in return.

Don’t forget to keep the mood light or you could lose their interest. This is not the office, after all. You could also include pictures of them when they are asleep or in some silly pose. Your kids will love this and it will definitely bring you closer.

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Spell it Out for Them

Get some alphabet cookie cutters and some cookie dough and spell out “I Love You”. They will love these cookies made especially for them and tasting so yummy too. If you don’t have time to cook just use play-dough instead and leave it somewhere they can find them.

Just Get Stuck In

Whatever your kids are up to, and if you find that you have some free time, go get stuck in and enjoy that opportunity. Whether it’s a water fight, a game of basketball, or a game of shopping, get involved. Playing  with your kids is a fantastic way to show them that you love them.

Leave Notes Around for Them

You can leave notes in their lunchbox, gym bag, instrument case, their bed, or under their pillow. You can make the message appropriate to the situation at the time. If your son is having a hard time with Math, you could send him a note telling him, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. Stay positive.” You get the idea. Not only will kids feel special when they find a note all for them, but they’ll also really remember the message contained on the note. This is great for kids with attention problems.

Dance with Your Kids

Kids in my house love to dance. We all get up and take turns doing really silly dances while the rest of laugh ourselves into a knot. Music is a great medium for bonding. It really does bring people closer together. Bringing music and dance into your home will provide your kids with many happy memories, as well as reasons to feel loved and cherished. So turn the volume up and get down every now and then.

Bring them Along With You as You Do Your Chores

Whether it’s ironing or changing the bed-linen, you will be doing you kids a favor by having them accompany you as you work. You get to spend time together and your kids learn valuable skills they will need down the line. They may prefer to play with their toys or gadgets, but after a while they will grow accustomed to this routine and they will learn to value it. After all, they will also benefit from quality time with their parent. All kids crave this. When these kids grow up and they are able to fend for themselves, they will remember the time they spent putting out the garbage with their Dad or making dinner with Mom, and then they will feel really loved.

Conclusion

As you can see, these activities don’t cost anything besides a little bit of imagination and some effort. It’s a small price to pay in making your kids lives that much more special.

I hope these little tips help open up a new world of fun, laughter, and love to you and your family.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

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Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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