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15 Things Only a Person With ADHD Will Understand

15 Things Only a Person With ADHD Will Understand

We’ve all walked into the room to search for something, only to forget what we were searching for in the first place. For people diagnosed with ADHD, it is a common occurrence along with many other symptoms that make ordinary life a challenge. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD is a learning disorder that affects people from the age of 6 years and above. Individuals affected by ADHD face challenges focusing on tasks, organizing things, and following instructions.

Here are a few things people affected by ADHD can relate to:

1. You’re A Multi-Tasking Legend

Well at least in your mind. Do you often find 30 tabs open in your web browser? Because it can be hard to focus, to people with ADHD it can seem like they’re doing a million things at once. These aren’t finished as smoothly as they were started.

2. Your Mind Is Always On

ADHD doesn’t allow your mind to settle. It always seems like there is something important that deserves your attention even if you’re trying to get to sleep. There is no off switch to all the thoughts that are racing through your head.

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3. Your Daydreams Are Like Hollywood Blockbusters

When a person zones out, it can be because of a preoccupied mind or a tiring day at work. If you’ve been affected by ADHD, your day dreams are the stuff of legend. Your train of thought will be full of twists and turns, and you will zone out for what will seem like ages to anyone around you.

4. There’s Nothing You’re Not Passionate About

You may have impulsively signed up for a Save The Whales campaign and are extremely passionate about the cause. You want to do all you can to impact the movement positively. The only problem is there are an infinite amount of things you’ve cared about before, and you have limited time to work on all of them.

5. You Are Passionate About Everything

There isn’t anything in the world that is interesting enough to keep them interested for more than 15 minutes. Even their interests and hobbies are brushed aside quickly, leaving incomplete work and missing pieces. Crossword puzzles are the usual victims.

6. Spontaneous Is Your Middle Name

Have you signed up for something on an impulse? If you’re living with ADHD, every situation can lead to an inevitable outcome. They often commit to things without fully understanding the implications.

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7. Everything Is A Distraction

Do you have that career-defining day at the office tomorrow? Preparing a presentation that will knock your bosses socks off? Oh wow! Look at the way the water drips from the faucet. Is that a new doorbell my neighbor is using? It is a challenge to stay focused even when there isn’t something terribly exciting happening.This is even more so for children affected by ADHD. They find it difficult to follow their regular classes and feel pressurized by the workload.

8. Organizing Your Desk Is A Nightmare

Is your room a mess only a minute after you cleaned it? Is it impossible to find something in your desk drawer? This can happen a lot. ADHD makes it a challenge to organize anything. Even making lists can be a daunting task.

9. May The Focus Be With You

There is another side to the disorder. You may suddenly feel so connected to one particular thing, that everything else is merely a blur in the background. People with ADHD can experience this tunnel vision like situation for random subjects they had no prior interest in.

10. Staying Calm Is Not As Easy As It Sounds

If you’ve ever misplaced something you know the panic that comes with it. For a person with ADHD, it can get much worse. They can become frenzied and disillusioned and will make the situation worse than it is. If you’re around them when this happens, don’t blame them for being careless. Help them find it and try to keep them calm.

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11. You Lose It When Someone Messes With Your Schedule

Organizing anything can be such a challenge that it will give you profound satisfaction to stick to your plan. Someone messing with even the tiniest of details can trigger panic. It makes you either lose your temper or lose interest in the program.

12. Emotional Responses Are Common

If you’re living with ADHD you know it can be challenging to restrain your emotions. You can find yourself feeling extremely cheerful and upbeat for even the most mundane things. The flipside is getting depressed about everything.

13. Patience Isn’t Always A Virtue

Do you feel the need always to be on the move, getting things done? People who live with ADHD often come across as impatient. They may seem restless to other people. This is especially true if they’ ve been forced to be quiet for some time.

14. Procrastination

Because your mind can seem full of endless possibilities, you often end up starting a lot of projects without finishing any. To the untrained eye, this may look like you just keep putting off things.

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15. Time Can Fly Faster Than You Realise

Because you are preoccupied with all of the interesting and important things going on around you, you may forget a few. Suddenly looking at a calendar can lead to panic attacks as you realize that there are bills due and birthdays you’ve forgotten.

Conclusion: Use It To Your Advantage

ADHD can be limiting, but it doesn’t have to control your situations and outcomes.

There are many inspirational stories of people overcoming their challenges and climbing heights even they never imagined. There are also plenty of professors, artists, lawyers and other professionals that are living with ADHD. It has no influence on a persons intellect. Highly intelligent people can still achieve success even with the disorder. You can achieve everything you set your mind to if you receive the right support from those around you.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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