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15 Things Only a Person With ADHD Will Understand

15 Things Only a Person With ADHD Will Understand

We’ve all walked into the room to search for something, only to forget what we were searching for in the first place. For people diagnosed with ADHD, it is a common occurrence along with many other symptoms that make ordinary life a challenge. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD is a learning disorder that affects people from the age of 6 years and above. Individuals affected by ADHD face challenges focusing on tasks, organizing things, and following instructions.

Here are a few things people affected by ADHD can relate to:

1. You’re A Multi-Tasking Legend

Well at least in your mind. Do you often find 30 tabs open in your web browser? Because it can be hard to focus, to people with ADHD it can seem like they’re doing a million things at once. These aren’t finished as smoothly as they were started.

2. Your Mind Is Always On

ADHD doesn’t allow your mind to settle. It always seems like there is something important that deserves your attention even if you’re trying to get to sleep. There is no off switch to all the thoughts that are racing through your head.

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3. Your Daydreams Are Like Hollywood Blockbusters

When a person zones out, it can be because of a preoccupied mind or a tiring day at work. If you’ve been affected by ADHD, your day dreams are the stuff of legend. Your train of thought will be full of twists and turns, and you will zone out for what will seem like ages to anyone around you.

4. There’s Nothing You’re Not Passionate About

You may have impulsively signed up for a Save The Whales campaign and are extremely passionate about the cause. You want to do all you can to impact the movement positively. The only problem is there are an infinite amount of things you’ve cared about before, and you have limited time to work on all of them.

5. You Are Passionate About Everything

There isn’t anything in the world that is interesting enough to keep them interested for more than 15 minutes. Even their interests and hobbies are brushed aside quickly, leaving incomplete work and missing pieces. Crossword puzzles are the usual victims.

6. Spontaneous Is Your Middle Name

Have you signed up for something on an impulse? If you’re living with ADHD, every situation can lead to an inevitable outcome. They often commit to things without fully understanding the implications.

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7. Everything Is A Distraction

Do you have that career-defining day at the office tomorrow? Preparing a presentation that will knock your bosses socks off? Oh wow! Look at the way the water drips from the faucet. Is that a new doorbell my neighbor is using? It is a challenge to stay focused even when there isn’t something terribly exciting happening.This is even more so for children affected by ADHD. They find it difficult to follow their regular classes and feel pressurized by the workload.

8. Organizing Your Desk Is A Nightmare

Is your room a mess only a minute after you cleaned it? Is it impossible to find something in your desk drawer? This can happen a lot. ADHD makes it a challenge to organize anything. Even making lists can be a daunting task.

9. May The Focus Be With You

There is another side to the disorder. You may suddenly feel so connected to one particular thing, that everything else is merely a blur in the background. People with ADHD can experience this tunnel vision like situation for random subjects they had no prior interest in.

10. Staying Calm Is Not As Easy As It Sounds

If you’ve ever misplaced something you know the panic that comes with it. For a person with ADHD, it can get much worse. They can become frenzied and disillusioned and will make the situation worse than it is. If you’re around them when this happens, don’t blame them for being careless. Help them find it and try to keep them calm.

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11. You Lose It When Someone Messes With Your Schedule

Organizing anything can be such a challenge that it will give you profound satisfaction to stick to your plan. Someone messing with even the tiniest of details can trigger panic. It makes you either lose your temper or lose interest in the program.

12. Emotional Responses Are Common

If you’re living with ADHD you know it can be challenging to restrain your emotions. You can find yourself feeling extremely cheerful and upbeat for even the most mundane things. The flipside is getting depressed about everything.

13. Patience Isn’t Always A Virtue

Do you feel the need always to be on the move, getting things done? People who live with ADHD often come across as impatient. They may seem restless to other people. This is especially true if they’ ve been forced to be quiet for some time.

14. Procrastination

Because your mind can seem full of endless possibilities, you often end up starting a lot of projects without finishing any. To the untrained eye, this may look like you just keep putting off things.

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15. Time Can Fly Faster Than You Realise

Because you are preoccupied with all of the interesting and important things going on around you, you may forget a few. Suddenly looking at a calendar can lead to panic attacks as you realize that there are bills due and birthdays you’ve forgotten.

Conclusion: Use It To Your Advantage

ADHD can be limiting, but it doesn’t have to control your situations and outcomes.

There are many inspirational stories of people overcoming their challenges and climbing heights even they never imagined. There are also plenty of professors, artists, lawyers and other professionals that are living with ADHD. It has no influence on a persons intellect. Highly intelligent people can still achieve success even with the disorder. You can achieve everything you set your mind to if you receive the right support from those around you.

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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