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7 Signs You Are Not Doing What You Want to Do

7 Signs You Are Not Doing What You Want to Do

Did you decide to start hitting the gym but failed to get out of your bed early the next morning? Or maybe, you wanted to start reading a new book but you couldn’t make it past the first five pages. You want to take your classes regularly, hang out with friends more often, give time to your family and go to the mountains on holidays, but nothing is going the way you wanted it to. I know how it feels.

Everyone fantasizes about a lot of things in life and only some of them achieve what they desired. There are times when you are brought down and distressed by hurdles and problems in life, but the one who doesn’t give up is the one who reaches his or her goals in life. Most people go unnoticed of the fact that they are not doing what they wanted to do in life and chances are you are one of them.

Well then these 7 signs you are not doing what you want to do can serve as a warning so that you change yourself and buckle up to progress.

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1. You waste a lot of time doing unnecessary things

Surfing the internet for hours and scrolling your mouse again and again, watching reality television shows repeatedly, playing video games all day and drinking too much. If that’s what you’ve been doing all along, you are never going to complete what you’ve wanted to. Think for yourself. Are things like such going to serve you for good? Will you enjoy success in life through doing these things?

You need to start taking your life seriously and taking time to evaluate yourself, your goals and your dreams. Once you start setting up a perfect routine for yourself, things are surely going to change and you’ll complete what you’ve wanted to.

2. You’re procrastinating a lot

You have a lot of things to complete and your deadline is looming but you find yourself indulged in many things that by no means are important. You are putting off your most important task for the other day, everyday and you just don’t know how to start it. Well, procrastinating is the very first thing that prevents you from doing what you want to do.

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The first thing you need to do is stop checking the same email again and again, stop watching videos that are not related to you in any way, hanging out for no reason or sitting in front of your computer and chatting with your friend about the new designer dress your ex’s girlfriend wore yesterday. You seriously need to start doing things that are in your pending list right from now on and stop procrastinating.

3. You’re complaining too often

You might not be happy with your job, your salary or the people around you and all you do is complain about things in a tea-party with your best friends. If you are one of these people you’re doing it wrong. Complaining about a lot of things will burgeon negative thoughts in your life and it doesn’t help you in any way.

What you can do is start changing things you don’t like and develop a positive attitude. It keeps you motivated and you develop a vigor to complete things that you’ve wanted to.

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4. You don’t sleep on time

Did you hear the morning alarm and you find yourself still awake? Well, all you need to start something fresh is rest. If you stay up late and don’t get proper sleep, your mind does not function well. You feel drowsy the whole day and you just can’t focus. This is what distresses you and keeps you away from doing what you really wanted to accomplish.

5. You don’t feel inspired

You just watched a comedy movie but not even a punch line made you laugh, or you didn’t even care about how fascinating the story of a boy was who saved a dog from getting hit by the bus. There are things people love to do and all you need to do is explore, get to know yourself and find things that excite you. You need to rediscover yourself and your passion to keep yourself motivated in life so that you can achieve your goals that you’ve set before.

6. You don’t have plans

The first step to doing what you want to do is planning things accordingly and setting up a road-map of how you’re going to reach it. If you get lost in the conundrum and start working out without a plan, you’re almost certain to fail. As said, a good start is a job half done, planning is what gives you a perfect initiation to what you’ve wanted to do.

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7. You are not enjoying your life

The first thing you need to do is keep yourself happy. Anyone’s success is measured not by the amount of money they’ve earned over the years or the fame they’ve accumulated to reach their prominence, but by happiness. If you feel discordant or unsatisfied with yourself or the people around you, you’re not enjoying your life and you are sure to fall back. You won’t be able to concentrate on what you want to do if you are not enjoying your life.

If any of these 7 points feel like you, you don’t need to worry. Making good changes is inevitable if you desire success and want to achieve things that you want to do. All you need to do is change the way you think of yourself, make a proper daily routine and start planning things accordingly. Success is not so far!

Featured photo credit: Night Owl Man via picjumbo.imgix.net

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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