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10 Signs You’ve Found Someone Who Loves Your True Self

10 Signs You’ve Found Someone Who Loves Your True Self

It’s easy to fall in love. It’s a quick process and heart-warming and sweet…While as time goes by, it’s common for couples to find that they don’t really love the true self of the other, or they aren’t really loved for their true self…Are you being loved for your true self? or just being loved as a role? Check the signs below.

1. They show respect for your views

They are not opposed to what you believe in. Whether your religious, political, or spiritual views, they would respect your perspective on a subject. They are not in a relationship to antagonize what you have to say or do, rather to find how to adapt and complement who you are.

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2. They look into your eyes in a special way

When they are willing to stare into your eyes as if they were peering into your soul it means that you have a special place in their heart. It is not about what you have to say but it is something so special that you have in you that attract them to you.

3. They want to know what interests you

They want to dig deep into your dreams, goals and aspirations. They want to see you beyond the surface and know what defines you. When certain questions about what your wants and desires are, you should know that the other person is attracted to your true self.

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4. They include you in their decision

They have goals and desires but somehow you have a place in their future objectives. They want you there and would not take an important action without having your say in it.

5. They trust you

They can give you that benefit of doubt. They are not concerned about snooping though your cell phone or wondering where you are all the time. They know that you will make the right decision and will use good judgment in this regard. They are willing to trust your abilities and are not anxious of whether you are going to turn your back on them or not.

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6. They are willing to offer you the support you need to succeed.

It is not about them, but about you and how you can turn your ideas to reality. They are your strength when you are weak and doubtful. They would always believe in you and offer you the support you need to grow as an individual.

7. They want to spend time with you

They are concerned about the relationship with you and they are not reluctant or hesitant to invest time and energy in the relationship. Yes, there may be distractions in form of work, family, and some other obligations but that does not mean they will not want to use the time they have available to spend some time with you.

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8. They express their affection for you

It really is not about having frequent sex. Persons who love for who you are will want to be emotionally intimate with you. They would show you some affection in forms of cuddling or being cuddled or resting a hand on your shoulder. They want to have that physical connection with you.

9. They are proud of you

This doesn’t mean they brag about you like you are some item. No. Rather they value you and know how lucky they are to have you in their world. They know that you are wonderful and want to let the whole world aware of what is so special to them. They proudly introduce you to their friends, family and colleagues.

10. They would go the extra mile for you

People rarely go the extra mile for another person. However if they start understanding that going the extra mile will make you happy and they do this often without hesitation, you should know that the person loves you for your true self. Such sign shows that you have a special place in their heart.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

The Art of Humble Confidence

The Art of Humble Confidence

To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.

East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing

In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:

Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo – “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
[He does]
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”

In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.

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These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending the two: becoming somewhat humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.

Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It

I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.

The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.

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Know When to Shut Up and Learn

If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.

But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:

  • You learn more.
  • Smooths relationships.
  • Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.

Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.

Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn

In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.

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Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?

Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.

Persuade Less, Learn More

Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.

Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.

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Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills

This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.

The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.

Featured photo credit: BBH Singapore via unsplash.com

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