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10 Signs You’ve Found Someone Who Loves Your True Self

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10 Signs You’ve Found Someone Who Loves Your True Self

It’s easy to fall in love. It’s a quick process and heart-warming and sweet…While as time goes by, it’s common for couples to find that they don’t really love the true self of the other, or they aren’t really loved for their true self…Are you being loved for your true self? or just being loved as a role? Check the signs below.

1. They show respect for your views

They are not opposed to what you believe in. Whether your religious, political, or spiritual views, they would respect your perspective on a subject. They are not in a relationship to antagonize what you have to say or do, rather to find how to adapt and complement who you are.

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2. They look into your eyes in a special way

When they are willing to stare into your eyes as if they were peering into your soul it means that you have a special place in their heart. It is not about what you have to say but it is something so special that you have in you that attract them to you.

3. They want to know what interests you

They want to dig deep into your dreams, goals and aspirations. They want to see you beyond the surface and know what defines you. When certain questions about what your wants and desires are, you should know that the other person is attracted to your true self.

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4. They include you in their decision

They have goals and desires but somehow you have a place in their future objectives. They want you there and would not take an important action without having your say in it.

5. They trust you

They can give you that benefit of doubt. They are not concerned about snooping though your cell phone or wondering where you are all the time. They know that you will make the right decision and will use good judgment in this regard. They are willing to trust your abilities and are not anxious of whether you are going to turn your back on them or not.

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6. They are willing to offer you the support you need to succeed.

It is not about them, but about you and how you can turn your ideas to reality. They are your strength when you are weak and doubtful. They would always believe in you and offer you the support you need to grow as an individual.

7. They want to spend time with you

They are concerned about the relationship with you and they are not reluctant or hesitant to invest time and energy in the relationship. Yes, there may be distractions in form of work, family, and some other obligations but that does not mean they will not want to use the time they have available to spend some time with you.

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8. They express their affection for you

It really is not about having frequent sex. Persons who love for who you are will want to be emotionally intimate with you. They would show you some affection in forms of cuddling or being cuddled or resting a hand on your shoulder. They want to have that physical connection with you.

9. They are proud of you

This doesn’t mean they brag about you like you are some item. No. Rather they value you and know how lucky they are to have you in their world. They know that you are wonderful and want to let the whole world aware of what is so special to them. They proudly introduce you to their friends, family and colleagues.

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10. They would go the extra mile for you

People rarely go the extra mile for another person. However if they start understanding that going the extra mile will make you happy and they do this often without hesitation, you should know that the person loves you for your true self. Such sign shows that you have a special place in their heart.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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