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12 Parenting Quotes by Famous Writers

12 Parenting Quotes by Famous Writers

There is so much advice on parenting. Everyone has their own ideas and methods, and then the experts weigh in and shake up the apple cart. Fear sets in as you as a parent wonder if you are sending your child straight to years on a therapists couch to unravel their childhood.

The tool of writing is so helpful for a parent to make sense of what you as the parent think is best for you, best for your child.  You don’t have to be a writer to take a piece of paper and write out what you think about what kind of life and energy you want to surround your child with.

Here are some thoughts on parenting by famous writers. They have spent lots of time putting their thoughts onto the page and what they say is truly what they have taken the time to think about and process through the tool of writing.

“There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children.”  Marianne Williamson

As a thought leader on love, spirituality, politics and being a woman, Marianne reminds us that to change the world the place to start is with our children.

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“If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.” Jacqueline Kennedy

 The former first lady of the United States raised many children and definitely believed in the importance of family.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” Anne Frank

Although she did not have children, Holocaust victim Anne Frank had her ideas about parenting. She saw the struggles of her family and how her parents could not guarantee her life path, and realized that what they did pass onto her was morals and wisdom. And it was really up to the children to use them in their own way.

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” Oscar Wilde

When a child feels like it’s all about discipline and production, neglected or misunderstood, they act out. The Irish writer didn’t have his own children, but he realized from his own observations that children who behave the best tend to be the happiest.

“It is time for parents to teach young people that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.” Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou reminds us that the attitudes that children have about race, religion and sexuality come from the home.  She encourages parents to teach children about diversity and to celebrate it.

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“I would have given anything to keep her little. They outgrow us so much faster than we outgrow them.” Jodi Picoult

At times, we as parents think we have all the time in world to enjoy our kids when they’re little. Jodi reminds us otherwise, to be in the moment with your children.

“There are only two lasting bequeaths we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots the other wings.”  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This German writer summed up what he thought all children need, roots and wings. When a child feels they have both they can soar and be grounded simultaneously.

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you: worry that they are always watching you.” Robert Fulghum

Robert wrote All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. As a keen observer of children, he realized how much children are watching you. In a way this makes it easier; we don’t have to preach, only practice.

“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” Nicholas Sparks

As a writer of many romance novels that were turned into romantic movies like The Notebook, he says that the ultimate unconditional love is taught to us by our children. We usually look to romantic partners to teach this to us, to give this to us, and yet it’s the children that know it best.

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“I don’t remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child.” Anne Lamott

Anne writes about her own addictions, her life troubles and where she found her heart is in her son. Looking externally for pieces of her heart came full circle when her child was born.

“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.” John Steinbeck

He was a Nobel Prize winner, husband to 3 wives yet had no children. This deep thinker and writer had the realization that what it takes to raise children was courage. Parents sometimes forget how courageous they are when raising their children.

“I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other time of my life.” J.K. Rowling

As the author of the Harry Potter books, she picked the time as a parent as the highlight, the proudest time of her life. No matter what success we wish and long for, and work towards, the biggest and proudest accomplishment may just be in the next bedroom, waiting for our love and devotion to just being their parent.

Be willing to say to those in your charge, “I don’t know.”“Content with an ordinary life, you can show all people the way back to their own true nature.” Being open to the guidance of your own true nature will free others to do the same. And “when they know they do not know, people can find their own way.” Parenting shouldn’t mean imposing rules or impressing others with your supposed intelligence and superiority. Refuse to convey superiority.”  Wayne Dyer

You would think that Dr. Dyer, father of 8, would have the ‘know it all’ about parenting as a father and self help guru. Yet what he says is that its important for you to tell your children  that you don’t know. And to give the child the power to find their own way sometimes.

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So there you have the wisdom and writing of famous writers about parenting. This is all food for thought to take in whatever resonates with you. At the end, it’s up to you to take pen to paper and write down what YOU think. Write your own parenting rules. You know yourself and your children better than anyone else.

Featured photo credit: http://mrg.bz/0TYoP7 via mrg.bz

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Esther Litchfield-Fink

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

Reference

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