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I’m Not Going To Say “I Love You” To My Partner Even If I Really Do

I’m Not Going To Say “I Love You” To My Partner Even If I Really Do

How do you get to the point of I’m not going to say “I love you” to my partner even if I really do? When saying “I love you,” it is so easy when starting your life with someone. You show them you’re into them; because you are. As time moves on and you figure out you want to spend your life with that person, it’s easy to fall into the rut of “I love you, have a good day.” Or “I’ll see you after work, love you.”

Don't say, "I love you", show me.
    photo credit: thehdimg.com

    My husband and I have been married for eight years.

    Over the last year we have tried to move away from just saying, “I love you.” Sure we still say those three beautiful words, but we have learned how to say them without actually having them come out of our mouths. Here are a few of these ways.

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    1. We take time to listen to each other.

    When we do things like this for each other it says, “I value what you have to say.” My husband has gotten to the point of when I am trying to talk to him and he is around other people, he says, “Can you please give me a moment, it’s important that I hear this.” Nothing in the material world screams, “I love you!” like this action does. Just the fact he stops and takes a breath for me gives him brownie points.

    2. Following through with my word.

    When it comes to my husband if I tell him I will do my best to do something, I jump through hoops to try and do it. Why? Because the smile on his face drives my day. I want him to know that it does.

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    3. Showing each other intimacy.

    It doesn’t mean that you just go and jump into bed with your partner. Intimacy comes with two sides, sexual and non-sexual. Most people love the bedroom scene. We actually went through a period where I couldn’t stand being naked around him. Realizing this was an important part for him (and at one time myself also), I went for help. Doing this one action showed him, “I love you, you’re important to me, and so are your needs” it was very beneficial.

    4. Surprises.

    Going back to when you’re dating, it’s easy to send your girlfriend flowers, or make cookies for your boyfriend. My husband isn’t really into sweets, so using the first example and listening for things that he would like is how I surprise him. He knows when I say, “Wow, how cool?!” he just screamed, “I love you” without having to say a word. I know when he tells me, “You really didn’t have to do this” but there’s a smile on his face when he says it; I just told him that he means the world to me.

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    5. We take time to notice each other.

    What does it even mean? One way we say we love each other is to actually look at each other, yes I said it. We put down the electronics and we look at each other. It usually follows with a compliment like, “Wow, honey I really like your haircut!” or “You look beautiful without any make-up on.” I know that this is a corny way to say, “I love you” but honestly; do you take the time to put your electronics and appreciate your partner? For me and my husband, this was a huge barrier in our intimacy. There were times where T.V or video games were more important than each other’s happiness. We had started to notice each other were unhappy until it was almost too late. But just taking the time to realize this was one of our barriers meant more than saying these words, “I love you”.

    6. We take time to be silly with each other.

    I’ve had friends ask me, “Why do you have that manner?” Answering this was simple, one great way that I show my spouse is saying, “Come play with me.” or “Let’s have some fun together.” When we did this for the first time we were walking through a craft store. There were these awesome pool tube swords. My husband, Nicholas kept walking by them. How do you not seize the opportunity to safely beat the crap out of each other and laugh like kids? I bought four of them, a different color for each family member and we laughed for hours over this activity. Through this action we learned how to say, “I love you,” through laughter; making our lives richer.

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    This article by another Lifehack author helped me realize we were heading for success: Lori De La Cruz and it was called, Numerous Messages Behind “I Love You”

    It is my hope, one day the end result will be a heart warming old folks photo like this one

    Growing Old
      photo credit : www.tumblr.com

      Featured photo credit: MoshLab Wallpaper via moshlab.com

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      Last Updated on June 19, 2019

      12 Signs You Are A Lifelong Learner

      12 Signs You Are A Lifelong Learner

      Formal education is something everyone has to go through to a certain degree, and the knowledge it offers isn’t always that practical in real life. Life long learning is how you improve as a person, bit by bit and day by day.

      Life long learners recognize the importance and joy of growth so they never settle for what they currently know and always seek for improvement.

      Here are 12 signs these life long learners have in common – see how many of them you recognize in yourself.

      1. They read on a daily basis.

      Whatever problem or dilemma you currently face, there’s definitely at least one decent book that discusses it and presents a variety of solutions.

      Reading is a great way to open up new horizons, train your brain and revolutionize your life. I can’t even count how many times books completely transformed the way I view the world, and it’s always a change for the better. Through reading, you can connect with successful people and learn from the lessons they share.

      Life long learners love to get lost in books and do it regularly. Bill Gates knows that reading matters a lot; on his personal blog, he reviews plenty of game-changing books.

      Due to technology, you can access a bookshelf of the wealthiest entrepreneur on this planet.

      2. They attend various courses.

      Whether it’s online or offline, there are countless courses you can participate in without spending a dime on it. These are great opportunities to connect with clever and like-minded people and learn from them.

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      Because of the advanced technology, you can now gain knowledge from online programs, starting from coding through self-improvement to programs from top universities.

      There are literally endless ways to thrive. What life long learners have in common is squeezing as much as possible out of these opportunities.

      3. They seek opportunities to grow.

      Instead of spending your free time laying on the couch and watching TV, you prefer doing something creative and practical. You know every wasted minute is gone forever.

      That’s why you’d rather practice your language skills with a native-speaker you’ve met, engage in local meet up or attend a class that teaches something you always wanted to learn.

      Life long learners stay up-to-date with growth opportunities in their areas and participate in them frequently.

      4. They take care of their bodies.

      “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” — John F. Kennedy

      A clever mind combined with a body in a great condition is the best asset you can have. Our bodies were designed to run, walk, jump, swim, lift and much more. Leading a sedentary lifestyle harms both your physical and mental sphere.

      Life long learners know the body is your temple. In order to make it flourish for as long as possible, they train regularly, move a lot and eat healthy.

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      5. They have diverse passions.

      Among Steve Jobs’ wise quotes, there’s one I like especially. It’s about connecting the dots:

      “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs

      Each dot is some event or skill in your life, and it’s only when you go through these elements that you know how to combine them into something great.

      Having a variety of passions indicates that you love to progress. By practicing different skills, you give yourself an advantage over the rest of the people. During hard times, you are more likely to to act intelligently and solve your problems with less effort.

      6. They love making progress.

      If behind the efforts, there is passion and a deep desire to grow, your chances of success are way higher, compared to when you are forced to learn.

      Life long learners love to experience the constant growth and improvement. The breakthrough moments help them to notice the impressive change that took place because of the learning process. Any milestone serves as a driving force for further headway.

      7. They challenge themselves with specific goals.

      In order to keep growing, you clearly define your goals. Smart goal setting is one of the tools to ensure constant growth.

      Since you love challenges, a difficult goal doesn’t scare you. Quite the opposite, it keeps you motivated and engaged.

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      Research showed that precise and ambitious goals increase the performance of an individual. As we already agreed, life long learners are people who care about their performance, hence they never stop improving.

      8. They embrace change.

      A complete change can lead to incredible results. This is especially visible on the example of successful companies.

      Oftentimes, it’s that transformation which created space for their so-called overnight success. Twitter was originally created as an internal service to serve Odeo employees. Currently, it has over 300 million monthly active users and is considered the second biggest social network.

      As a life long learner, you know a change can lead to extraordinary results so you welcome it and stay open minded about making a shift.

      9. They believe it’s never too late to start something.

      Some people tend to think after a certain age, they are no longer allowed to start something and become successful. The truth is, it’s just a lame excuse not to leave the comfort zone.

      Opposite to common misconceptions, there’s no wrong age to begin something. Henry Ford was 45 when he invented the Ford Model T car, which is considered as the first affordable automobile.

      Sure, for some domains like becoming a professional athlete, starting early is required. However, to learn and improve for its own sake, you are never too old.

      10. Their attitude to getting better is contagious.

      “We now accept the fact that learning is a life long process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.” — Peter Drucker

      There’s nothing better than to see your surroundings getting involved in what you actively participate in. Oftentimes, the best way to achieve that is to inspire them and be the example. As Gandhi would say, you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

      As a life long learner, you are extremely passionate about the constant growth and people around you can sense that positive attitude. As a result, they start acting similarly.

      11. They leave their comfort zone.

      Is it really better to step out of your comfort zone? The answer is always yes.

      You always embrace discomfort as you know the path to success leads through hardship and countless obstacles. Instead of being afraid of facing them, you challenge yourself to overcome more and more difficult handicaps.

      Every time you get out of your comfort zone, regardless whether you win or fail, you learn something new. That’s the part you love the most!

      12. They never settle down.

      “Knowledge is exploding, so you need to commit yourself to a plan for life long learning.” — Don Tapscott

      A sense of being clever enough is something you don’t experience. Without a doubt, you appreciate what you already know, but that’s never a reason to stop. You just know once you stop learning, you lose the amazing privilege humans have, namely an ability to a never-ending intellectual development.

      More About Lifelong Learning

      Featured photo credit: Christin Hume via unsplash.com

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