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Researchers Discover Devastating Results of Childhood Bullying

Researchers Discover Devastating Results of Childhood Bullying

Bullying comes in many forms. Some examples of what victims endure include: name calling, teasing, spreading rumors, pushing or shoving, stealing property, sexual comments or gestures, cyberbullying, leaving the person out of activities, hitting, slapping and kicking, threatening. It’s shocking to know that young people are subjected to this everyday at school and on the streets. What’s even more shocking is to realise that these children grow up still affected by their experience.

Poorer health, lower income, lower quality of life  – more likely for victims of bullying

Many studies have been carried out to examine the affects of bullying on children. Researchers have learned that these affects are far-reaching and complex. They can take their toll well into adulthood.

It has been well established that bullying can cause depression, anxiety, conduct problems, psychosis and suicidal ideation in young people who have suffered at the hands of bullies. The Medical News Today reported from a study that highlighted some of the affects of bullying on children. It found that these children were prone to night terrors, sleep-walking and nightmares.

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A 2014 study carried out at Kings College London UK, found that up to 40 years later there are still some negative effects of bullying both socially, physically and mentally. The researchers found that at age 50 people who had been bullied as children were more likely to be in poorer physical and psychological health and have more problems with cognitive functioning than those who had not been bullied.

Problems in other areas included: being more likely to be unemployed, earning less for those who were working and having lower educational backgrounds. They were also found to be less likely to be in a relationship or to have a good social support network. The victims themselves reported that they had a lower quality of life and life satisfaction than their peers who had not been bullied.

Those at the forefront of research stated:

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“Our study shows that the affects of bullying are still visible nearly four decades later. The impact of bullying is persistent and pervasive, with health, social and economic consequences lasting well into adulthood” – Dr.Ryu Takizawa from the Institute of Psychiatry at Kings College London.

“Toxic Stress” and Bullying

Another study into the long-term affects of bullying examined the concept that bullying victimisation is a form of “toxic stress”. Advocates of this theory outline that this toxic stress affects the physiological responses of children. This might explain why otherwise healthy victims of bullying go on to develop health problems later in life.

It seems that elevated levels of a protein called CRP or C-reactive protein, have been found in victims of bullying. Traditionally, high levels of CRP are found in the blood when the body is fighting inflammation like arthritis, or an infection of some kind. This could explain the connection between poor health and bullying – the body is reacting in the same way to “toxic stress” as it would to an infection.

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The Affects of Cyberbullying

Obviously these studies do not address the long term affects of Cyber Bullying – we need to wait and see what is found over time. We do know however, that a number of young people have already taken their lives after being bullied on line. The DHHS (Department of Health and Human Services) emphasises however, that in these cases there were other risk factors present and social media did not necessarily play the defining role.

New research outlines that cyberbullying is linked to teen depression. One million children have been harassed, threatened, or subjected to other forms of cyberbullying on Facebook. (Consumer Reports 2011)

Experts in Cyberbullying suggest that parents guide their children through safe practices when online instead of banning them from their computer when some kind of problem crops up.

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The Future and Bullying

Professor Louise Arseneault of the Kings College Study says: “We need to move away from any perception that bullying is just an inevitable part of growing up”.

She advocates the use of early intervention to prevent problems arising in the first place.

According to these studies we know that bullying has been going on for more than 40 years. Maybe it has always been a reality. However it continues despite anti-bullying campaigns, better awareness and educational programmes in schools. Professor Arseneault is right – we can’t just accept bullying as an expected part of life. As a society it is imperative that we act on this knowledge to rid our schools of bullying. It seems to me that maybe if we took our focus off the victims and onto the bullies we might learn more about how and why it’s happening in the first place.

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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