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What Is Attachment Parenting?

What Is Attachment Parenting?

What Is Attachment Parenting?

You may have already heard of attachment parenting and wondered what it is. Well, we have the answers. It is an approach to parenting that is concerned with the nurturing bond that develops between parent and child.

A very well known pediatrician, William Sears MD, argues that children who are raised with this method will grow up to be secure and independent adults who are capable of forming strong bonds in future relationships.

You may be still wondering what is attachment parenting exactly, and what it involves. Well, let’s take a look.

The 8 Principles of Attachment Parenting

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

Advocates of attachment parenting believe that mothers should not be exposed to negative messages about pregnancy, childbirth, or parenting itself. They say that this prepares the parent for the emotional demands of being a parent.

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2. Loving and Respectful Feeding

Supporters of attachment parenting believe that breastfeeding is the best way to form an attachment between mother and child. They feel it also sends a message to the baby that the mother is attentive to their needs.

3. Responding Sensitively

In attachment parenting, parents consider expressions of emotion as attempts at communication. This includes tantrums. They feel it’s best to listen and try to interpret what your child is really saying when they act out.

4. Nurturing Touch

Proponents of attachment parenting talk about the importance of skin-to-skin touching. They encourage joint baths with your child and the use of a front carrier sling to keep your baby close. This increases the development of a strong bond between parent and child.

5. Night-Time Parenting

When it comes to bed-time the attachment parenting approach recommends parents make arrangements for what’s known as “co-sleeping”. This is where the child sleeps in the same room as the parent, making night feeding and comforting easier. Some parents take this a step further and bring their children to bed with them. However, this is considered dangerous by the Academy of Pediatrics, as it could cause Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (or SIDS).

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6. Constant Care

It is advised that parents remain present with their child at all times when they are very young. In fact, they advise that children of thirty months or younger should only receive childcare for twenty hours per week.

7. Positive Discipline

This group says its better to distract, redirect, and guide all children, even the youngest ones. Attachment parenting is all about getting to the root of the problem. It’s focused on what your child is trying to communicate when they act in negative ways. Instead of spanking or forcing your will on a child, this approach simply encourages finding a solution to the problem with your child.

8. Balance In Life

Supporters of attachment parenting express the importance of finding balance in your personal and family life. Parents are encouraged to find support in order to prevent burning out.

These are the principles of this approach to parenting, if that doesn’t answer your question of “what is attachment parenting” maybe if we dig a little deeper we can find out more.

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The Roots of Attachment Parenting

Attachment parenting outlines the importance of the “attachment figure” in a child’s life (the mother, father, or guardian). They feel that a very strong bond is necessary between the baby and its parents or the child will grow up with many problems. They see insecurity, lack of empathy, even anger, and attachment disorders as being experienced by those who are not raised with this important bond.

Some people feel that this is a bit harsh and unfounded. There has been much criticism of attachment parenting.

Criticism of Attachment Parenting

Many people feel that while it is a good thing to form secure attachments with your child, this approach takes things a little too far. Here’s what they have to say.

1. Bed Sharing Isn’t Safe

While we all love to have a cuddle with our babies in bed, it is felt that it would be safer not to allow babies to stay in the bed all night. The attachment parenting group (API) addresses such concerns with special rules for night-time sleeping.

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2. The Nature of Attachment

Research has found that there are many factors which determine an individual’s ability to form attachments beyond their childhood experiences. For example: peer pressure, relationships at school, dating, and marriage.

3. Changes in Modern Times

Attachment theory first came about in the 1950s before the introduction of childcare facilities. Critics of attachment theory want to draw attention to this and have attachment theorists acknowledge this fact.

4. Discipline Approach is Questionable

Many feel that there is a risk that if parents are to be so attentive to their child’s every need they will soon become burned out or worse their children will begin to bully them.

5. Reactive Attachment Disorder?

Proponents of Attachment Disorder claim that without this close attachment, kids are at risk of growing up and developing a psychiatric condition called Reactive Attachment Disorder (or RAD). However, critics have bitten back, saying that this disorder is reserved for those who are severely abandoned, like those growing up in orphanages, for example.

Conclusion

Now that you’re fully informed on the ins-and-outs of this type of parenting, you can judge for yourself if it is for you and your family. I know some people who have had a great deal of success with this form of parenting, but it just never came together for me.

While I would agree that it’s a good idea to listen to your kids and see what it is they are trying to say when they act out, I believe that boundaries and rules are also very important for the security of our kids. When all is said and done, it is a matter for the individual parent to decide for themselves what approach is right for them.

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

More Tips for Single Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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