Life is a challenge. Whatever way you may look at it, there will always be obstacles that are meant to make you a stronger and better person.
In the midst of all these obstacles, it is incredibly easy to go down a road of self-pity — where you truly believe that the world is against you. And, because so many people are in “self-pity” mode, it might seem like the acceptable way of living.
Sadly, self-pity mode ruins people’s lives. When you are in that mode, you become self-destructive because your headspace is always filled with negative thoughts that you think are the norm. Naturally, because you think it’s the norm, you are seldom aware that you are ruining your life.
In 2007, my life changed forever when I understood the power of thoughts – positive or negative. In fact, my life changed so much that I started a company called Wealthy Mindset® in 2009. The pay-off line for the company was “Wealth begins with your Mindset.”
I’ve gone on to work with hundreds of people through Wealthy Mindset® and RunForWealth, a blog I use to publish content on how you can “Run A Fulfillng Life Race.”
As a result, I have studied and experienced, personally and in others, the impacts of positive and negative thoughts.
In this post, I hope I can share common negative thoughts that can potentially ruin your life. I am also going to share some solutions that will help you replace negative thinking so you can start re-shaping the direction of your thoughts.
1. “Life is unfair” makes you a victim
Nobody ever promised us a roller-coaster in life. And yet, every time life deals us a temporary blow, we are quick to express how unfair life is.
Life is very fair, provided you shift paradigms completely.
Most of the blows you will receive in life are meant to help you reach your destiny. Use them to be the best you can be.
Non-toxic thought and action: Life is fair and I must use the obstacles in life to learn and grow.
2. “It’s everyone else’s fault” makes you irresponsible
Ever come across people who are never at fault?
All the negative vibes and occurrences in their lives are the result of everyone else. To them, shifting responsibility is the easiest option. If it isn’t their partner or spouse, it’s the boss. If it isn’t the boss, it’s the friends. If it isn’t the friends, it’s the colleague or the neighbor.
Non-toxic thought and action: I need to take full responsibility for all my actions and outcomes in life.
3. “I grew up underprivileged” prevents you from being a futuristic thinker
We will never start on the same base. And that does not mean life is unfair.
Just because someone has a better starting base in life doesn’t mean they don’t have problems and challenges that come with the “advantage.”
The reality is that we all have obstacles to overcome – regardless of where we start in life. Quite frankly, where you start is insignificant. Your life journey and where you end up is what counts.
Non-toxic thought and action: Life is a privilege and I will navigate through my obstacles regardless of where I start.
4. “Failing equates to failure” limits your breakthroughs
You will fail in life. Be it at school, work, or in business – you will attempt to do certain things and they will fail.
Sadly, we don’t know what our ration of failing is. It would be pretty cool if we did. But, we don’t, and that’s the reality of the matter.
Regardless of your failing, you need to learn from you mistakes and keep trying. Tough as it may be, at times, this means you need to abandon a particular career, project, or business venture completely and try something new.
Ultimately, you need to remember that you only become a “failure” when you stop trying. Failing comes with the territory to success.
Non-toxic thought and action: I will learn from my mistakes and failures but I will never stop trying.
5. “Live life like there’s no tomorrow” destroys you
As cool as this may sound, it’s a ticket to self-destruction. No one wants to live a boring life. But to live like there’s no tomorrow is just plain stupid.
Your today was determined by what you did many months and years ago. Your future (tomorrow) will be determined by your actions today.
Non-toxic thought and action: I will live responsibly every day because my future is determined by my current lifestyle.
6. “I don’t have the right contacts” limits self-investment
Knowing the right people in the right places is like gold.
What we often neglect to appreciate is that gold goes through an entire refinery process of heat and pressure before it yields it’s optimum value.
Likewise, your gifts, skills, talents, integrity, and character need to go through a rigorous process of tests in life before you can rely on contacts.
Contacts and knowing people in the right places means nothing if you can’t add value to people’s lives through your skills and talents. Equally important, your contacts mean nothing if you lack integrity or character.
Refine all the above and contacts will take you to places you never dreamt of.
Non-toxic thought and action: I will invest in myself first and refine my skills, gifts, talents, integrity, and character and the right contacts will help me get to higher heights.
7. “If I could win the lottery one day…” creates an overnight success fallacy
I know you are probably asking: “how on earth can this be a negative thought?”
The thing about gambling, and the lottery in particular, is that it plants a seed of “overnight success.” There is no such thing as “overnight success.” It takes many years to succeed. Life is a process of inputs and outputs.
Sadly, studies have also shown that most people who win the lottery end up in a worse-off situation. Why? Because they have not learned the necessary skills required to keep what they have won.
Non-toxic thought and action: I must work hard and smart and life will reward me appropriately and abundantly.
8. “People are gossiping about me” negatively impacts your focus
It is quite sad to see how many people walk around paranoid about who is having conversations about them. As a result, they have low self-esteem. They second-guess themselves and spend most of their energy “watching their backs” for “enemies” or potential moves of “sabotage.”
Here is the crux: people will always talk, whether you do good or bad. Forget about what people are saying behind your back and focus on doing you.
Non-toxic thought and action: I must focus on living my life fruitfully, regardless of what people say behind my back.
9. “I am not good enough” blurs our gifts, talents, and skills
We all have gifts, talents, and skills. Our responsibility is to identify those and continuously work on improving them so we can add value to other people’s lives.
For anyone to say “I am not good enough” is complete hogwash. The primary problem is that many people spend a lot of energy trying to achieve in areas they are not gifted or talented in. We have become so competitive that we often neglect to stay in our lanes.
Non-toxic thought and action: I must identify my skills and talents and stay in my lane of destiny.
10. “It’s impossible” prevents us achieving extraordinary goals
Nelson Mandela, an anti-apartheid revolutionary, once said: “It always seems impossible until it is done.”
Achieving great success is not about “pie in the sky” hype. It takes some goal-setting, systematic hard and smart work, and then having the faith required to allow your ordinary efforts and inputs to become extraordinary achievements.
Non-toxic thought and action: I will set life goals and develop the faith required to make my hard and smart work become extraordinary success.
In conclusion, most of society is stuck in “toxic mode.” As a result, most toxic thinking is deemed to be normal.
I really hope that this article will help you identify subtle toxic thoughts that can ruin your life. More importantly, I hope the suggested “non-toxic thoughts” can help you escape that mode so you achieve abundance and success in life.
Featured photo credit: Ryan McGuire via imcreator.com