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Little Things You Can Change For A Happier And Fulfilled Life

Little Things You Can Change For A Happier And Fulfilled Life

Sometimes, the cause of our unhappiness is our very own nature. We are naturally inclined with certain characteristics which needs to be changed in order for us to live a happier and fulfilled life. To hold on to these natural characteristics and still aspire to be happy and live a fulfilled life is impossible. The only thing that stands between you and happiness is you. Change these natural characteristics of you and find your way to a happier destination.

1. Selfishness

It is very easy to think of other people as selfish but the truth is we are all naturally selfish. Of course, some people may be more selfish than others but we all have a dose of selfishness in our genes. Whose face do you first look at in a group picture? You! And so does everyone else.

If all the people in the world remained selfish, then the world will be such a horrible place to live. Selfishness must be replaced with empathy and selflessness. We must realize that, others are important in the world too. We are not the only important people, we need to look out for others the same way we would want them to look out for us. We might not be homeless, but if we were the homeless person on the street, will we expect others to help us or walk by.

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When you trade selfishness for selflessness, you will realize that nothing is more fulfilling and joyful like helping and looking out for others. Help the homeless man get on his feet again, sponsor an orphan in Africa, with sites like this you can donate as little as $50 a month which will go a long way to change the future of others and give you the happiness and joy for making a difference.

2. Jealousy

If you are never truly happy at other people’s success, then you need to give it up for a fulfilled life. Jealousy rips away joy and happiness. Jealousy makes you angry, causes stress and can lead to depression. Jealousy blinds you of the great things in your life to be happy for and makes you miserable for the few things you don’t have that others have.

Be genuinely happy about other people’s success and not only when you will benefit from it. Being happy for others and giving up on jealousy will make you happier and successful, instead of being depressed and miserable by jealousy, your will be excited and more open to opportunities which will help you succeed.

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3. Use your brains and not emotions

It is very easy to be led by emotions and not the mind. But being led by emotions all the time will only lead to disaster. It is common sense to exercise daily, but not all of us do. It is common sense to save and invest, but not all of us do. It is common sense not to procrastinate, but most of us do. Common sense is not common action. This is as a result of the battle between emotions and mind. The mind knows it is right to exercise instead of watching TV, but our emotions ‘feels’ like watching TV instead. The mind knows it is a good thing to log out of social media and do something worthwhile with your time but your emotions ‘feels’ like spending more time on social media instead of attending to the business.

The mind road is very narrow and difficult and only few people take that road, the emotional road is very broad and easy and many people take that road. No wonder there are more unsuccessful people than successful people in the world.

4. Lack of self control/discipline

If you want to live a happier and fulfilled life. You need to have discipline. Knowledge is power but if you lack the discipline to do that which you know to do, knowledge becomes futile. In other words, knowledge is useless without discipline. If you know you do not have to eat junk food but lack the discipline and self control to actually not junk food, you will still be obese and unhealthy regardless the knowledge you have.

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5. Don’t dwell on negative comments

Isn’t it strange that one hundred people can tell us we look beautiful and compliment our personality and we soon forget but if one person tells us we look ugly it takes forever to forget, making us sad and bitter. Instead of dwelling on negative comments and letting positive comments die fast, rather let negative comments die fast and dwell on positive comments.

6. Judgemental

Ironically, we hate to be judged but find pleasure in judging others. We hate to hear mean things about us but never think twice in saying mean things about someone else. This is because naturally we are insensitive to other people’s feeling. We think others deserve our hurtful words and judgement but be mindful that to every one else in the world, you are the ‘other person’. Let us be less judgemental and correct others in love if need be. Every behaviour no matter how bizarre has meaning to the one performing it. Let’s be open-minded rather, there are more than enough judgemental people in the world already.

7. Unforgiveness

You pick up your husband’s phone and see naked pictures of other women on his phone. Your girlfriend whom you loved so much and invested your money, resources, love and time just left you for another person. You become the victim. Think of betrayal, hurt, pain, heartbreak, disappointment, you are a perfect definition. They don’t deserve forgiveness. You have cried and sobbed amidst the emotional trauma. You have two options; To hate them forever after all they are heartless, wicked and insensitive and to hold on to the scenes of their actions and tread on a bitterness lane-where you will always hurt inside and see them as the horrible beast they are or to put yourself together and say ‘you know what, they don’t deserve it, they are mean, wicked, betrayed me, disappointed me, defrauded me’ but I will forgive them not because I want to, but because I have to. Choosing the latter is the best decision.

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Forgiveness is hard to do initially but it’s worth it. Taking the bitterness lane is such a horrible way to live. We need to forgive and let go after all, we all have one thing in common, we are human beings and none of us are perfect. It’s true we may be hurt because someone has hurt us and find it hard to forgive but think of all the people you have hurt yourself in the past. To err is human, once you are human, you have hurt someone before too so forgive.

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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