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If You Don’t Feel Right, He Is Not The One.

If You Don’t Feel Right, He Is Not The One.

Leaving a toxic relationship can be extremely difficult. Even when a relationship is bad and neither partner feels happy, it can be very tough to accept that the relationship is over and move on. Many people worry that they are making a bad decision, or they fear being alone. However, leaving a toxic relationship will make you happier, more confident and more compassionate. Check out 8 amazing things that happen when you leave a toxic relationship for good.

1. You will have a clear perspective of the toxic relationship

It is hard to have a clear perspective on a relationship while it is still happening. After a toxic relationship ends you get clarity about yourself, your partner and the relationship. The relationship had highs – but it also had crashing lows which hurt you, and it wasn’t worth it for the good parts. After leaving the toxic relationship you will want a healthy, happy relationship without crashing lows, and if you until you find that you will happy to stay single.

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2. You will evolve

A toxic relationship is filled with mistrust, anger, sadness and difficulties. When the relationship ends, those experiences will make you kinder, more compassionate, and wiser. You will be better at empathizing and relating to others, and you will understand yourself more than you did before the relationship.

3. You will learn more about what you want from a relationship

Leaving a toxic relationship will teach you what you don’t want in a relationship. You will no longer tolerate being used or being hurt and you will know the warning signs to look out for to make sure you avoid toxic relationships in the future.

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4. You will become independent

Many people do not leave toxic relationships because they fear being alone, but being alone is better than being with someone who hurts you. When the relationship ends you will realize this and you will embrace being alone. While you may occasionally feel sad or lonely, you will feel much happier than you did in a toxic relationship.

5. You will learn to love yourself again

Toxic relationships can leave both partners with low confidence. Your partner may have put you down or mocked some of your habits, but once you are single you will learn to love every single part of yourself again – even the part that likes to watch the Real Housewives while eating cream cheese out of the tube.

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6. You will focus on following your own dreams

Toxic relationships often encourage dependency, where both partners don’t have any time for their own interests. When the relationship ends you will have time to yourself to pursue your own dreams and goals. Being able to set your own priorities means you will make more progress than you could while you were in the toxic relationship.

7. You will put more effort into other relationships

Toxic relationships can take up a lot of time, and leaving a toxic relationship means you get your free time back. While this may seem scary initially, it actually gives you the opportunity to spend time with your loved ones. It is likely your friends and family missed you while you were busy with your relationship, and being single gives you the opportunity to spend time with the people who care about you and love you.

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8. You will become happy

Being in a toxic relationship can make you dependent, not confident and unhappy. Once this ends, you get the chance to become truly happy again. You will feel pain when the relationship first ends, but this will pass and eventually, you will be ready to be in a relationship again. You will know that you deserve someone who loves and respects you, but you are comfortable being alone until then.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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