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If You Don’t Feel Right, He Is Not The One.

If You Don’t Feel Right, He Is Not The One.

Leaving a toxic relationship can be extremely difficult. Even when a relationship is bad and neither partner feels happy, it can be very tough to accept that the relationship is over and move on. Many people worry that they are making a bad decision, or they fear being alone. However, leaving a toxic relationship will make you happier, more confident and more compassionate. Check out 8 amazing things that happen when you leave a toxic relationship for good.

1. You will have a clear perspective of the toxic relationship

It is hard to have a clear perspective on a relationship while it is still happening. After a toxic relationship ends you get clarity about yourself, your partner and the relationship. The relationship had highs – but it also had crashing lows which hurt you, and it wasn’t worth it for the good parts. After leaving the toxic relationship you will want a healthy, happy relationship without crashing lows, and if you until you find that you will happy to stay single.

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2. You will evolve

A toxic relationship is filled with mistrust, anger, sadness and difficulties. When the relationship ends, those experiences will make you kinder, more compassionate, and wiser. You will be better at empathizing and relating to others, and you will understand yourself more than you did before the relationship.

3. You will learn more about what you want from a relationship

Leaving a toxic relationship will teach you what you don’t want in a relationship. You will no longer tolerate being used or being hurt and you will know the warning signs to look out for to make sure you avoid toxic relationships in the future.

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4. You will become independent

Many people do not leave toxic relationships because they fear being alone, but being alone is better than being with someone who hurts you. When the relationship ends you will realize this and you will embrace being alone. While you may occasionally feel sad or lonely, you will feel much happier than you did in a toxic relationship.

5. You will learn to love yourself again

Toxic relationships can leave both partners with low confidence. Your partner may have put you down or mocked some of your habits, but once you are single you will learn to love every single part of yourself again – even the part that likes to watch the Real Housewives while eating cream cheese out of the tube.

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6. You will focus on following your own dreams

Toxic relationships often encourage dependency, where both partners don’t have any time for their own interests. When the relationship ends you will have time to yourself to pursue your own dreams and goals. Being able to set your own priorities means you will make more progress than you could while you were in the toxic relationship.

7. You will put more effort into other relationships

Toxic relationships can take up a lot of time, and leaving a toxic relationship means you get your free time back. While this may seem scary initially, it actually gives you the opportunity to spend time with your loved ones. It is likely your friends and family missed you while you were busy with your relationship, and being single gives you the opportunity to spend time with the people who care about you and love you.

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8. You will become happy

Being in a toxic relationship can make you dependent, not confident and unhappy. Once this ends, you get the chance to become truly happy again. You will feel pain when the relationship first ends, but this will pass and eventually, you will be ready to be in a relationship again. You will know that you deserve someone who loves and respects you, but you are comfortable being alone until then.

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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