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10 Mistakes Smart People Never Make Twice

10 Mistakes Smart People Never Make Twice

Everyone will make mistakes during their lives, and this is not a bad thing. Mistakes can teach you lessons and help you to grow as a person, but if you don’t learn from your mistakes may continue to make them without realizing.

Check out 10 mistakes smart people never make twice.

1. Ignoring advice you asked for

Asking for advice from someone who is wise and knows you well can be very useful, as they can give you personalized, knowledgeable advice. Many people repeatedly ask friends and loved ones for advice on how to improve their lives, but they never follow the advice because they believe they know best.

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Smart people understand that in some situations, another perspective can be invaluable – especially if you asked for it.

2. Believing in someone that is too good to be true

Most people will meet someone who is too good to be true at least once in their lifes. These people are charming and charismatic, and they like to talk about how successful they have been and how they can help you. However, if it sounds like it is too good to be true they could be using you for their own personal gain.

Successful, smart people understand that it is rare you get something for nothing, and that you should think about the person before getting involved and trusting them.

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3. Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result

Albert Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Intelligent people understand that is a method doesn’t work the next step is to find a new method that might. Repeatedly doing the same thing will frustrate and annoy you – but it won’t move you forward.

4. Expecting instant gratification

Smart people understand that hard work comes before the reward in most situations. Instead of becoming frustrated that they don’t get what they want immediately, they motivate themselves to keep going because they know they will eventually get the reward.

5. Not doing your work and blagging a good result

Most people take a few short cuts during life; for instance, many people have taken an exam without revising and still received a good result. Successful, smart people understand that this is luck and using this method will actually hold them back from achieving their full potential.

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6. Blaming problems on everything other than yourself

It can be difficult to accept responsibility when things go wrong, and many people have blamed it on something or someone else at least once. Smart people may make this mistake once but the experience teaches them that they hold the power, and accepting this means they have the ability to change their lives for the better.

7. Trying to change someone else

Many people with good intentions have tried to change someone. However, the only way someone will change is if they actually want to. You cannot make someone want to change, and smart people realize this and instead choose to work on changing themselves for the better, instead of others.

8. Forcibly asserting yourself as a leader

Lots of people would like to lead their company, family or group of friends – even if the others don’t want them to lead. Smart people understand that trying to make all of the decisions can be offensive to others, as it implies they always know better. Instead, they make suggestions that everyone can benefit from.

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9. Trying to impress everyone

Most people have tried to impress everyone at least once during school, college or work, but this normally turns out badly. Trying to be who others want you to be often means you come across as phony, but some people never seem to realize this. Smart people make the connection as soon as someone thinks they seem fake, and instead focus on making others like them be being genuine and honest.

10. Trying to be a people pleaser

Most people try to be a people pleaser with good intentions; they want to get along with their co-workers or friends and they like to make others happy. However, it is impossible to please everyone and some people will try to take advantage of this kindness. Smart people realize that doing this will leave them with no time left for themselves, and so they instead they focus on making themselves happy – and everyone else once they have done their own work.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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