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These 10 Ways Are How Emotionally Intelligent People Tackle Uncertainty

These 10 Ways Are How Emotionally Intelligent People Tackle Uncertainty
The topic of emotional intelligence has become all the rage in leadership circles and popular culture. And for good reason. Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in life outcomes, such as forming satisfying personal relationships and achieving success at work. This article focuses on the scientific study of emotional intelligence and how to harness it to make good decisions.
Emotional intelligence is defined as “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action,” according to Yale Psychologist Peter Salovey. Put simply, this skill allows people to navigate social situations more effectively by viewing emotions as useful sources of information. Below are ways people with a high level of emotional intelligence deal with problems.

1. They’re aware of their own emotions.

Emotionally intelligent people aren’t exempt from feeling angry, sad, or happy. The difference is, they rely on the logical part of their brain to address a difficult or uncertain situation. They realize that once they give into that emotion, all rational thoughts go dark and their body engages their innate “fight or flight” response mode.

2. They can read the emotions of others from a mile away.

They can detect and decipher emotions in body language, voices, and even photos and art. For example, if someone walks into a business meeting and picks up visible cues that something is very wrong (maybe a participant appears slightly disheveled or is acting more reserved than usual), they are better equipped to deal with it. They can determine how to defuse the situation and reach a positive solution.

3. They know how to use emotions to their benefit.

They harness different emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities, like trouble-shooting. For example, studies show that being in a slightly sad mood helps people conduct careful, methodical work while being in a happy mood can stimulate creative and innovative thinking. The emotionally intelligent person can capitalize on his or her changing mood in order to best fit the task at hand. Are you a morning person who prefers to tackle the hard stuff before noon or a night owl who is more focused when everyone else is asleep?

4. They are successful at managing their own emotions.

They can regulate emotions in both themselves and in others. For instance, a boss might stop himself from yelling at a subordinate who made a major mistake, and instead use the opportunity as a learning experience to ensure the error never happens again. As for the ability to manage the emotions of others, you’d be surprised to learn that even negative emotions can be leveraged to reach intended goals. For example, a politician might increase the anger in their tone to deliver a powerful speech and arouse righteous anger in others.

5. They weigh the pros and cons of the situation.

They people take the time to organize their thoughts in order to come up with a solution that benefits their organization. This skill comes from their ability to control or quiet the emotional side of their brain and activate the logical side. This enables them to focus on making lists and prioritizing to zero in on what matters most.

6. They consult other leaders, mentors, or advisors on their team.

Sharing an emotional experience is not only proven to be useful in a therapeutic sense, but it offers leaders to get an objective interpretation of the issue at hand. Emotionally intelligent people aren’t too proud to seek help and ask questions because they realize the benefit of seeking out experts.

7. They’re big-picture thinkers.

They analyze the problem rather than the transaction. This means that they are able to stick back on a situation, and instead of dwelling on hurt feelings inflicted by other parties, they ask: What didn’t go well? Why didn’t it go well? and How can we improve the situation?

8. They know when to walk away.

Emotionally intelligent people can identify when something is their issue or someone else’s. They know that while they can’t easily change another person’s emotions, they can change how they react. Half the battle is knowing what you can and cannot control.

9. They don’t let fear or uncertainty stop them.

The brain loves knowing what’s coming around the corner, but emotionally intelligent people view obstacles as opportunities rather than setbacks. Having a positive attitude and maintaining a clear perspective is paramount to overcoming uncertainties and dilemmas in the business world.

10. They love learning.

They’re theoretically-motivated individuals who seek out resources that offer knowledge to help them do their jobs more efficiently. By establishing new brain pathways, leaders will become more comfortable and adaptable to change, which will ultimately make them better at crisis management.

Featured photo credit: Sarah Cimino via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

7 Powerful Steps to Achieve Career Success

7 Powerful Steps to Achieve Career Success

I often hear people say, “I want to be successful but don’t know where to start” or “I’ve achieved career success yet I’m not happy.” And then I ask, “what does career success mean to you?” And many have a hard time articulating their response with much conviction.

It’s common that people lack clarity, focus, and direction. And when you layer on thoughts and actions that are misaligned with your values, this only adds to your misdirected quest to achieve your career success.

A word of caution. It’s going to take some time for you to think about and work on your own path for career success. You need to set aside time and be intentional about the steps you take to achieve career success. In my opinion, this step-by-step guide is apart of your life philosophy.

1. Define Career Success for Yourself

Pause. Give yourself time and space for self-reflection.

What does career success mean to you?

This is about defining your career success:

  • Not what you think you ‘should’ do
  • Not what people may think of you
  • Not adjusting to friends and family’s judgements
  • Not taking actions based on societal or community norms

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms” – Zen Shin

When you strip away all your external influences and manage your inner critic, what are you left with? You need to define career success that best suits your life situation.

There’s no fixed answer. Everyone is different. Your answer will evolve and be impacted by life events. Here are a few examples of career success:

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  • Work-life balance
  • Opportunities for growth and advancement
  • Feeling valued that my contributions had an impact

Now even as you reflect on the examples above, the descriptions are not specific enough. You’ve got to take it deeper:

  • What do you mean by work-life balance?
  • What do you consider to be opportunities for growth and advancement?
  • How do you like to be recognized for your work? How do you know if your contributions have had an impact?

Let’s take a look at some potential responses to the questions above:

  • I want more time with my family, and less stress at work
  • I want increased responsibilities, to manage a team, a higher income, and the prestige of working at a certain level in the company
  • I’d like my immediate leader to send me a thank-you note or take me out for coffee to genuinely express her or his gratitude. I’ll know I’ve made an impact if I get feedback from my coworkers, leaders and other stakeholders.

Further questions to reflect on to help narrow the focus for the above responses:

  • What are some opportunities that can help you get traction on getting more time with your family? And decrease your stress at work?
  • What’s most important for you in the next 12 months?
  • What’s the significance of receiving others’ feedback?

Now, I’m only scratching the surface with these examples. It takes time to do the inner work and build a solid foundation.

Start this exercise by first asking what career success means to you and then ask yourself meaningful questions to help you dig deeper.

What types of themes emerge from your responses? What keywords or phrases keep coming up for you?

2. Know Your Values

Values are the principles and beliefs that guide your decisions, behaviors and actions. When you’re not aligned with your values and act in a way that conflicts with your beliefs, it’ll feel like life is a struggle.

There are simple value exercises that can help you quickly determine your core values. This one designed by Carnegie Mellon University can help you discover your top 5 values.[1]

Once you have your top 5 values keep them visible. Your brain needs reminders that these are your top values. Here are some ways to make them stick:

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  • Write them on cue cards or notes and post it in your office
  • Take a picture of your values and use it as a screensaver on your phone
  • Put the words on your fridge
  • Add the words on your vision board

Where will your value words be placed in your physical environment so that you have a constant reminder of them?

3. Define Your Short-Term and Long-Term Goals

When writing your short-term and long term life goals, use the SMART framework – Specific Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Treat this as a brainstorming exercise. Your potential and possibilities are limitless.

How you define short-term and long-term is entirely up to you. Short-term can be 30 days, 90 days, or 6 months. Maybe long-term goals are 4 months, 1 year, or 10 years.

Here are a few self-reflection questions to help you write your goals:[2]

  • What would you want to do today if you had the power to make it the way you want?
  • If no hurdles are in the way, what would you like to achieve?
  • If you have the freedom to do whatever you want, what would it be?
  • What type of impact do you want to have on people?
  • Who are the people you most admire? What is it about them or what they have that you’d want for your life or career?
  • What activities energize you? What’s one activity you most love?

Remember to revisit your core values as you refine yours goals:

  • Are your goals in or out of alignment with your core values?
  • What adjustments do you need to make to your goals? Maybe some of your goals can be deleted because they no longer align with your values.
  • How attainable are your goals? Breakdown your goals into digestible pieces.
  • Do your short-term goals move you towards attaining your long-term goals?

Get very clear and specific about your goals. Think about an archer – a person who shoots with a bow and arrows at a target. This person is laser focused on the target – the center of the bullseye. The target is your goal.

By focusing on one goal at a time and having that goal visible, you can behave and act in ways that will move you closer to your goal.

4. Determine Your Top Talents

What did you love doing as a kid? What made these moments fun? What did you have a knack for? What did you most cherish about these times? What are the common themes?

What work feels effortless? What work do you do that doesn’t seem like work? Think about work you can lose track of time doing and you don’t even feel tired of it.[3]

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What are your desires? Try it out. Experiment. Take action and start. How can you incorporate more of this type of work into your daily life?

What themes emerge from your responses? How do your responses compare to your responses from the values exercise and your goals?

What do you notice?

5. Identify ‘Feeling’ Words You Want to Experience

Do you have tendencies to use your head or heart to make decisions?

I have a very strong tendency to make rational, practical, and fact-based decisions using my head. It’s very rare for me to make decisions using my emotions. I was forced to learn how to make more intuitive decisions by listening to my gut when I was struggling with pivotal life decisions. I was forced to feel and listen to my inner voice to make decisions that feel most natural to me. This was very unfamiliar to me, however, it expanded my identity.

Review this list of Feeling Words. Use the same technique you use for the values exercise to narrow down how you want to feel.

Keep these words visible too!

Review your responses. What do you observe? What insights do you gain from these responses and those in the above steps?

6. Be Willing to Sit with Discomfort

Make career decisions aligned with your values, goals, talents and feelings. This is not for the faint hearted. It takes real work, courage and willingness to cut out the noise around you. You’ll need to sit with discomfort for a bit until you build up your muscle to hit the targets you want.

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Surround yourself with a supportive network to help you through these times.

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them” – Rumi

7. Manage Your Own Career

Not to be cynical, but no one can make you happy but yourself. If you don’t take control of your career and manage it like your own business – no one will.

Discern between things that you can control and what you can’t control. For example, you may not be able to control who gets a promotion. However, you can control how you react to it and what you’ve learned about yourself in that situation.

Summing Up

For many who have gone through a career change or been impacted by life events, these steps may seem very basic. However, it’s sometimes the basics that we forget to do. The simple things and moments can edge us closer to our larger vision for ourselves.

Staying present and appreciating what you have today can sometimes help you achieve your long-term goals. For example, if you’re always talking about not having enough time and wanting work-life balance, think about what was good in your work day? Maybe you took a walk outside with your co-workers. This could be a small step to help you reframe how you can attain work-life balance.

Remember to take time for yourself. Hit pause, notice, observe and reflect to achieve career success by getting deliberate and intentional:

  1. Define Career Success for Yourself
  2. Know Your Values
  3. Define Your Short-Term and Long-Term Life and Goals
  4. Determine Your Top Talents
  5. Identify ‘Feeling’ Words You Want to Experience
  6. Be Willing to sit with Discomfort
  7. Manage Your Own Career

“When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.” – Lolly Daskal

Good luck and best wishes always!

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Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

Reference

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