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12 Lessons on Facing Depression and Anxiety

12 Lessons on Facing Depression and Anxiety

It’s been twenty five years since my first depressive episode and there have been many dark periods since. Some of these episodes were so bad, the only relief I could get was to think about my own death. It took me a long time to learn these lessons and now that I am finally well I will remember them for the next time .

Maybe you have learned some of these lessons yourself. If not, I hope this is helpful.

1. We should never go it alone.

When we are depressed and anxious we alienate ourselves and abandon our social lives. Not only that, but we often refrain from speaking about our problems with family, friends or even our doctors. It is so important to be open and honest about your illness. This way you can avail yourself of loving help, support and medical care. This makes all the difference when fighting a devastating illness like this.

2. We should only take baby steps.

Rome wasn’t built in a day — and depression and anxiety will not go away overnight. It takes time to get better and the best way to approach this process is with baby steps. Focus on feeling a little bit every day. Sometimes it might be a case of two steps forward and three steps back, but with determination and a positive attitude you can get better over time.

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3. Positive thinking is possible.

I have first hand experience of positive thinking in depression. It can be done and it is effective; I’m certain it prevented me from slipping further into depression and it kept me in a place where I could function. Writing down positive affirmations and statements of gratitude are well documented to lift mood — just because you’re ill doesn’t mean you won’t benefit from this.

4. Look forward to a bright future.

We are never depressed ‘forever’ — it just doesn’t work that way. Every cloud has a silver lining. Of course, when we are depressed we don’t see the silver lining; it has to be pointed out to us. There is no reason for us to believe that there aren’t fantastic experiences and sunny days ahead for us. Keeping that hope alive can save us from severe illness or help us through it.

5. We can make the most of melancholy.

You heard me — it ain’t all bad. We can be at our most creative at certain times in depression; some of my best drawings were done when I was deeply grieving. Many poets, artists and writers produce fine work when they are depressed. Working with music in the background can help to get the creative juices flowing.

6. Be there for others.

When depressed and anxious, we tend to think too much about our own problems. When we let this go and look outside of ourselves we see that others have needs too. It becomes clear to us that we can help other people and not spend all of our time focusing on our own problems. Now we have a sense of purpose and belonging — this helps with our self-esteem.

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There is great value in this principal when you are without direction and living with depression.

7. Re-training our thoughts is invaluable.

Replacing negative thoughts with more positive and rational thoughts is invaluable when dealing with depression and anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy applies this principal and many of us have benefited from putting it into practice.

8. Detach from your illness.

For people with depression and anxiety, frequent negative thoughts and feelings are experienced, but we should bear in mind that they are only thoughts and feelings — symptoms of the illness. They are not who we are. We are the person that is literally carrying around these thoughts and feelings. If we can remember who we were before we became ill we can detach from the feelings and try to ignore the thoughts.

9. Don’t react to your thoughts and feelings.

We have little control over the endless flow of negativity that enters our mind all day when we are ill. In CBT, we learn to stop these thoughts and introduce better one. But we can also be careful not to react to them — thereby reducing anxiety and further negative feelings. This allows us to keep control.

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10. We have endless inner strength.

We have as much inner strength as we need to get us through every given situation; we just have to believe it . When we find our courage, we can do anything we want.

Once, I was so ill I thought I was losing my mind. I dug deep down to my soul and found my inner strength. I made it out of that situation because I believed I was strong enough to do it.

11. We are worthy.

People who are depressed and anxious lose sight of how wonderful they really are. They lose all self-confidence and they feel that they are not worthy. On recovery we all realize that those feelings were just part of the illness and nothing more.

12. This was just our turn to be ill.

Everyone gets ill sometime. We each have our turn. Sparing a thought for those who suffer from terminal illnesses — and even mental illnesses worse than our own — can be humbling and help put things into perspective.

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I would have made great use of these lessons had I been given them when I was a teenager. Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan; in fact, it never does. There are always stumbling blocks along the way.

What’s important is that you learn valuable lessons as you go. These lessons will help you prepare for the future.

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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