Advertising
Advertising

Realizing the Differences Between Love And True Love

Realizing the Differences Between Love And True Love

Sometimes true love finds you when you least expect it; other times, you look everywhere for it, and it cannot be found. Whether it be now or in the future, you will find yourself in a romantic relationship. When you are in this relationship, you may question if it is love, infatuation, lust, or true love. How are you supposed to know the difference? Here are five ways to distinguish love from true love.

1. With True Love, You Don’t Ask Others For Their Approval. With Love, You Do.

You don’t need to ask those close to you what they think of your love interest or your relationship. You don’t need reassurance because you already know. When you are infatuated or falling in love with a person you may question how they really feel, or even, how you really feel. You might feel the need to discuss all your fears and thoughts with others to get their input on your relationship. When you find true love, you won’t have those questions or need that reassurance. You will feel comfortable in how you feel and you won’t feel the need to analyze it.

Advertising

2. With True Love, You Truly Like Each Other. With Love, You Might Like Them In A More Superficial Way

When you are in love or in lust, the pure physical attraction can be so amazing that you don’t really stop and think if you actually like the person. True love is lasting and it is really important to like the person in and out of the bedroom. Physical attraction is important, but at the end of the day you want to like the person you are sharing your life with. And, of course, you want to know they like you as well.

3. With True Love, You Trust Each Other. With Love, There Can Be Doubts.

When you find true love, you also find trust. You don’t worry your partner will be disloyal, and you know you won’t as well. You know you have each other’s back. You trust you will be there for each other. Just as you know a best friend or close family member wouldn’t lie to you or treat you badly, you know your true love wouldn’t do that either. You also know you wouldn’t lie, cheat, or mistreat your true love. There is mutual trust, affection, and honesty.

Advertising

4. With True Love, Life Becomes Richer. With Love, It Can Become Harder.

True love enriches your life. Your life should become easier, not harder. Relationships built on lust and infatuation can be thrilling, exciting, and time consuming at the same time. The constant push and pull of this kind of love can make life rockier. There is a steadiness, comfort, and assurance that comes from finding your true love. Your life is fuller, more wonderful with this person in it.

5. With True Love, You Picture a Future Together. With Love, You’re Not Quite Sure.

Sometimes it is easy to picture a life together based on your unrealistic expectations or your idealistic way of viewing things. If you try hard enough, you can kind of see how you might have a future together. Or, you might be in love or infatuated with someone and thinking of a future together scares you. When you find true love, it feels natural to picture a future together. You can’t imagine not being together. You know this is the person you want by your side as you go through life.

Advertising

When you find true love, it feels right. There is a certainty that resides in you. You don’t feel the need to talk about your relationship with others to get their feedback. You truly enjoy each other’s company. You honestly like the other person, and they like you. There is mutual trust. Your life becomes better, not harder. It’s not hard to picture a future together. You can’t imagine a life without this person in it. You realize that true love doesn’t take time, but it stands the test of time.

Featured photo credit: True Love(r)/Alex Cheek via flickr.com

Advertising

More by this author

Tomi Rues

Adjunct college teacher, notebook/journal designer, author

The One Question That Can Make Your Life Easier 8 Amazing Benefits I Realised After Doing Yoga Every Day 7 Surprising Benefits Of Garlic (With Recipe) Want More Peace in Your Life? Try These 5 Simple Steps 5 Practical Steps for Parents: From Whining and Crying to Thinking and Reasoning

Trending in Communication

1 How to Change a Negative Attitude That Is Destroying You 2 What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important? 3 14 Ways Strong-Minded People Think Differently 4 How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary 5 Why Happiness is a Choice (And Why It’s a Smart One to Make)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

Advertising

Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

Advertising

Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

Advertising

Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

Advertising

Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

More About Mental Strength

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Read Next