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Realizing the Differences Between Love And True Love

Realizing the Differences Between Love And True Love

Sometimes true love finds you when you least expect it; other times, you look everywhere for it, and it cannot be found. Whether it be now or in the future, you will find yourself in a romantic relationship. When you are in this relationship, you may question if it is love, infatuation, lust, or true love. How are you supposed to know the difference? Here are five ways to distinguish love from true love.

1. With True Love, You Don’t Ask Others For Their Approval. With Love, You Do.

You don’t need to ask those close to you what they think of your love interest or your relationship. You don’t need reassurance because you already know. When you are infatuated or falling in love with a person you may question how they really feel, or even, how you really feel. You might feel the need to discuss all your fears and thoughts with others to get their input on your relationship. When you find true love, you won’t have those questions or need that reassurance. You will feel comfortable in how you feel and you won’t feel the need to analyze it.

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2. With True Love, You Truly Like Each Other. With Love, You Might Like Them In A More Superficial Way

When you are in love or in lust, the pure physical attraction can be so amazing that you don’t really stop and think if you actually like the person. True love is lasting and it is really important to like the person in and out of the bedroom. Physical attraction is important, but at the end of the day you want to like the person you are sharing your life with. And, of course, you want to know they like you as well.

3. With True Love, You Trust Each Other. With Love, There Can Be Doubts.

When you find true love, you also find trust. You don’t worry your partner will be disloyal, and you know you won’t as well. You know you have each other’s back. You trust you will be there for each other. Just as you know a best friend or close family member wouldn’t lie to you or treat you badly, you know your true love wouldn’t do that either. You also know you wouldn’t lie, cheat, or mistreat your true love. There is mutual trust, affection, and honesty.

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4. With True Love, Life Becomes Richer. With Love, It Can Become Harder.

True love enriches your life. Your life should become easier, not harder. Relationships built on lust and infatuation can be thrilling, exciting, and time consuming at the same time. The constant push and pull of this kind of love can make life rockier. There is a steadiness, comfort, and assurance that comes from finding your true love. Your life is fuller, more wonderful with this person in it.

5. With True Love, You Picture a Future Together. With Love, You’re Not Quite Sure.

Sometimes it is easy to picture a life together based on your unrealistic expectations or your idealistic way of viewing things. If you try hard enough, you can kind of see how you might have a future together. Or, you might be in love or infatuated with someone and thinking of a future together scares you. When you find true love, it feels natural to picture a future together. You can’t imagine not being together. You know this is the person you want by your side as you go through life.

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When you find true love, it feels right. There is a certainty that resides in you. You don’t feel the need to talk about your relationship with others to get their feedback. You truly enjoy each other’s company. You honestly like the other person, and they like you. There is mutual trust. Your life becomes better, not harder. It’s not hard to picture a future together. You can’t imagine a life without this person in it. You realize that true love doesn’t take time, but it stands the test of time.

Featured photo credit: True Love(r)/Alex Cheek via flickr.com

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Tomi Rues

Adjunct college teacher, notebook/journal designer, author

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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