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9 Things No One Told You About Difficult Times

9 Things No One Told You About Difficult Times
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Who likes difficult times? I know I don’t. I don’t think you do either. But guess what? I am in love with difficult times. Obviously when they happen, they make you feel totally alone, worthless and even stupid. But after they have gone, and I reflect on the things that I’ve learned rather than the bad times, I feel I have gained a gold mine because these times reveal who I am, and they teach me many important life lessons. It’s how you react to those situations that shows your true identity.

Here’s what happens when you go through difficult times.

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1. You learn new things.

When you go through difficult times (those times that you hate), you are under pressure, worry, anxiety or all of the above. You learn how to manage them, you learn how to work under pressure, you learn how other people behave, you learn if you are the one who always gets help from people or the one from whom people run away, you learn to stretch your limits and know that you are capable of doing more than you think.

2. You learn to be proactive.

There comes a time when you have to take action even if you don’t want to. That’s why they’re called difficult times. And the more action you take, the more results you get. When you become proactive, you gain the advantage over others as 80% of people hate being proactive. It’s the remaining 20% — the proactive people — that bring the results.

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3. You really learn what responsibility means.

Being personally responsible for everything we do is a trait very few people have and if you want to get an extra advantage, grab this opportunity. When you are going through difficult times, accept your responsibility and start doing work. Don’t grudge over past mistakes or waste time complaining. Responsibility is accepting the task you were supposed to do and doing it without any complaints. When you make it a habit, things will begin to change and you’ll begin to see results quickly.

4. You become master at difficult things.

The person who is proactive and is willing to accept responsibilities will not be afraid of doing difficult things. He knows he’s learning so much and the only way to be great at something is to do difficult things first.

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5. You get support of other helpful people.

When people see you working hard, they genuinely want to help you as they know that you are a kind of person who will always help them. And also because they know that by helping you, they’ll be helping many people in the process through who you are connected.

People want to make some impact and when they see someone making it, they naturally feel inclined to help them.

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6. You earn the trust of your subordinates.

People are tired of office politics and mean co-workers. When you stop complaining and take personal responsibility for your task, your behavior is rare and you gain the trust of your subordinates. Everyone wants to be around the person who is genuine and helpful.

7. Your self-confidence increases in an amazing way.

Slowly, as things begin to change around you as a result of your behavior and you begin to see positive results, you become confident in your work.

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8. Things don’t seem hard to you now.

We don’t need more skills, we only need more confidence. When you have the confidence in you to do the difficult things with the required support, things that seem hard to others are part of the routine for you as all the hard work and efforts have finally paid off.

9. You become fearless.

The only way to overcome fear is to take action. And you are by now fearless because you took action, you took responsibility and when the right people supported you, your confidence grew.

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Dhaval Gajera

Author and Speaker.

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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