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9 Things No One Told You About Difficult Times

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9 Things No One Told You About Difficult Times

Who likes difficult times? I know I don’t. I don’t think you do either. But guess what? I am in love with difficult times. Obviously when they happen, they make you feel totally alone, worthless and even stupid. But after they have gone, and I reflect on the things that I’ve learned rather than the bad times, I feel I have gained a gold mine because these times reveal who I am, and they teach me many important life lessons. It’s how you react to those situations that shows your true identity.

Here’s what happens when you go through difficult times.

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1. You learn new things.

When you go through difficult times (those times that you hate), you are under pressure, worry, anxiety or all of the above. You learn how to manage them, you learn how to work under pressure, you learn how other people behave, you learn if you are the one who always gets help from people or the one from whom people run away, you learn to stretch your limits and know that you are capable of doing more than you think.

2. You learn to be proactive.

There comes a time when you have to take action even if you don’t want to. That’s why they’re called difficult times. And the more action you take, the more results you get. When you become proactive, you gain the advantage over others as 80% of people hate being proactive. It’s the remaining 20% — the proactive people — that bring the results.

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3. You really learn what responsibility means.

Being personally responsible for everything we do is a trait very few people have and if you want to get an extra advantage, grab this opportunity. When you are going through difficult times, accept your responsibility and start doing work. Don’t grudge over past mistakes or waste time complaining. Responsibility is accepting the task you were supposed to do and doing it without any complaints. When you make it a habit, things will begin to change and you’ll begin to see results quickly.

4. You become master at difficult things.

The person who is proactive and is willing to accept responsibilities will not be afraid of doing difficult things. He knows he’s learning so much and the only way to be great at something is to do difficult things first.

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5. You get support of other helpful people.

When people see you working hard, they genuinely want to help you as they know that you are a kind of person who will always help them. And also because they know that by helping you, they’ll be helping many people in the process through who you are connected.

People want to make some impact and when they see someone making it, they naturally feel inclined to help them.

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6. You earn the trust of your subordinates.

People are tired of office politics and mean co-workers. When you stop complaining and take personal responsibility for your task, your behavior is rare and you gain the trust of your subordinates. Everyone wants to be around the person who is genuine and helpful.

7. Your self-confidence increases in an amazing way.

Slowly, as things begin to change around you as a result of your behavior and you begin to see positive results, you become confident in your work.

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8. Things don’t seem hard to you now.

We don’t need more skills, we only need more confidence. When you have the confidence in you to do the difficult things with the required support, things that seem hard to others are part of the routine for you as all the hard work and efforts have finally paid off.

9. You become fearless.

The only way to overcome fear is to take action. And you are by now fearless because you took action, you took responsibility and when the right people supported you, your confidence grew.

More by this author

Dhaval Gajera

Author and Speaker.

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Last Updated on October 21, 2021

How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

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How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

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More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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