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5 Reasons Why Hardworking People Are More Blessed (And Luckier)

5 Reasons Why Hardworking People Are More Blessed (And Luckier)

Luck is such a lovely word and we would all like a piece of it every now and then. But what if I told you that luck doesn’t exist? The problem with society, and more importantly the media, is that we only tend to see the finished product. We see musical artists come out of nowhere, or we see a blog post go viral via a ‘lucky’ retweet; however what doesn’t get shown is all the groundwork that has been done behind the scenes leading up to this pivotal moment.

“It takes 20 years to become an overnight success” – Eddie Cantor

Whether you have noticed it already or not, individuals who tend to be blessed and luckier carry with them a unique work-ethic. You may only see the outcome of their success, but what goes on behind the scenes may make you question what it truly means to ‘work-hard’. You may have previously questioned why certain individuals seem to possess more luck than you. However, the fact is that these individuals have created each and every opportunity by following a precise process — and there is nothing stopping you from reaping these same benefits.

Instead of hating on these so called ‘blessed’ ones, let’s congratulate them — and analyze how these individuals achieve their luck:

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1. They Never Stand Still

“You won’t go anywhere standing still”

A cliche, yes. The truth? Even more so. Hardworking individuals are always on the move — and that doesn’t always mean physically. These types of individuals are always thinking and always trying to position themselves in the right places so that they don’t miss opportunities. Being in the right place at the right time may seem lucky to most. But remember that every decision a person makes up until that point is a choice.

2. They Remain Positive at All Times

Luck is most definitely seen as something positive, but what people often forget is all the hard times leading up to that moment. Hardworking individuals will never give up, even when times our tough. When in search of success (whatever that may be for you), there is no doubt you will approach some hurdles along the way. But it’s how you respond to them that defines your future success. Hardworking individuals will never say, ‘I’m so unlucky’. Instead, they accept that problems are part of the process and swiftly move on so they don’t miss the next opportunity, which is just around the corner.

While others worry about what went wrong, these individuals are already seeking their next chance.

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3. They Aren’t Afraid to Fail

It’s one thing being positive when things go wrong. But way before that, you mustn’t be afraid of failing. Hardworking individuals seem to have no fear when seeking opportunities.

When was the last time you did something that scared you? I don’t mean going and getting the latest Halloween costume. I’m talking about doing something new for the first time or calling someone you don’t know to arrange a business meeting. Hardworking individuals get out of their comfort zone on a daily basis and it doesn’t have to relate to the thing you are doing. Think of a professional athlete, such as a weightlifter. They fail hundreds of times before finally breaking a world-record. If they were afraid to even try to lift a heavy weight, then they would have never reached the heights that they did. These individuals understand that by consistently putting themselves through pain and sacrifice, they will grow at a much greater pace and attract more opportunities. Hardworking individuals aren’t afraid of making mistakes — because when they do, it just means they’re one step closer to finding the correct solution.

“I haven’t failed. Ive just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” – Thomas Edison

4. They Have a WHY

Hardworking individuals don’t just work hard for no reason. They have a clear purpose for why they are willing to sacrifice all the time and effort for results that aren’t guaranteed, and this is called their ‘WHY’.

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You’ve probably heard it before but your WHY is what’s going to separate you from the average Joe. Individuals that seem to have a lot of luck only attract such opportunities because they are willing to do what others are not. Many individuals have enough motivation to attract some opportunities but motivation will only take you so far; in contrast, hard-working individuals have a lifelong purpose that they believe in and will do anything they possibly can to make it a reality. For this very reason, these individuals won’t just seek instant results and won’t cave in when things don’t go their way. Their purpose is far greater than any materialistic thing, which is why they will continue to attract more opportunities day-in and day-out.

5. They Show Up…Every Day

If there were two words that could be used to advise every young person growing up, it would be these two: Show up.

Show up! It’s a simple distinction between someone who would like success compared to someone who is so desperate for success that they can’t even put it into words. Hardworking individuals show up, not just for one or two days; they show up every single day and it’s for that very reason they are blessed and lucky. There will be some days they are tired or don’t feel up to it but they will still give 100%. What people forget to realise is that your 100% will change, but as long as you give your 100% for that day, then any external factors won’t matter because you have done everything you possibly could.

‘Unlucky’ individuals tend to give up when they don’t feel at their best and will wait until tomorrow; but, unfortunately, opportunities don’t wait around. To ‘show up’ means to be present in every single moment. It means to be available so that the universe knows you are ready to receive opportunities. If you can only do one of these five points, then please let it be this one. Individuals who are hardworking forget about the past and what isn’t happening, and focus only on what IS happening at this very moment — because at the end of the day, that’s all ‘Luck’ cares about too.

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Instead of hating on individuals that seem to attract more luck than others, maybe we could learn a thing or two by studying them. Luck doesn’t have to be unique to certain individuals. Adopt as many of these five traits of hardworking individuals as possible and you will soon be attracting more opportunities in your daily life. I look forward to seeing your goals become a reality.

Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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