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12 Things That Happen When You Start To Keep Calm

12 Things That Happen When You Start To Keep Calm

Sally was a frazzled, exhausted, overweight insomniac. Turning 50 was not quite what she expected. Menopause had caused her hormones to go on strike resulting in severe night sweats, hot flushes and weight gain. Sally was tired of her crazy life and begged me for advice to find peace and calm in her tumultuous life.

If left unchecked, this type of stress that goes on for a long period is a triple whammy for weight gain–it increases your appetite, it makes you hold onto the fat, and it interferes with your willpower to implement a healthy lifestyle.

Bringing calm into your life is easier than you think. You do not have to meditate for an hour each day or attend an expensive resort. It does take a little effort on your behalf but the results will be amazing if you incorporate a few minor changes.

Let’s focus on what will happen when you approach life’s challenges and keep calm:

1. You will lose weight

Stress is a contributing factor to menopause weight gain, as well as weight gain at any other time in our lives. In the days when our ancestors’ stress was due to fighting or in the midst of famine, their bodies adapted by learning to store fat supplies for the long haul. Nowadays, many people are chronically stressed by life crises and work-life demands, therefore are prone to getting an extra layer of “visceral fat” in the belly area.

When you keep calm, you will begin to lose that excess weight.

2. You will stop craving food

When you are chronically stressed, you crave “comfort foods,” such as a bag of potato chips or a tub of ice cream. These foods tend to be easy to eat, highly processed, and high in fat, sugar, or salt. Stress interferes with your brain’s reward system, causing you to crave easy to grab comfort foods.

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When you keep calm you will be more relaxed and therefore not as likely to crave foods.

3. You will decrease inflammation in the body

Chronic stress leads to high levels of inflammation in the body. Researchers found that chronic stress changes gene activity of immune cells before they enter the bloodstream so that they’re ready to fight infection or trauma–even when there is no infection or trauma to fight. This leads to increased inflammation.

If you have any ailment due to inflammation such as arthritis, heart disease and early signs of aging, when you keep calm you will keep these symptoms at bay.

4. You will enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep

When the body finds peace and calm you will find it a breeze to not only fall asleep, but also stay asleep throughout the night.

No more waking up in the middle of the night. No more worries keeping you awake at night.

When you keep calm, you will wake up refreshed and relaxed.

5. You will have happy children

At a recent school event for my 12-year-old son, I was stressing out. It was an event where my son, who had built a solar car, and was competing against other schools.

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Be careful of the car! Don’t do this; don’t do that.

My son was getting stressed and I was making a fool of myself. I removed myself from the situation. I entrusted my son with his teachers, who know just how to work with teenage boys. I went off and found a coffee shop and chilled out.

An hour later I returned to a happy child who thanked me for trusting him and leaving him to work on his solar car.

When you keep calm, your family will be more relaxed around you.

6. You will find relief from muscle spasms

When you are stressed, your body needs magnesium to help relax the muscles. If you are constantly stressed, magnesium levels can become very low and can result in muscle spasms.

When you keep calm, you will find the muscle spams will decrease or disappear altogether.

7. You will have regular bowel motions

Following on from point number 6, decreased magnesium can lead to constipation. When you have regular bowel motions this has an add on effect with every point covered in this article.

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When you keep calm, you will achieve regular bowel motions and will be a much happier person to be with as a result.

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    8. You will be a happier person

    Once Sally made a few adjustments in her frazzled life, she became a happier person. As corny as it might sound, happy people attract happy people into their lives, creating an even happier environment.

    When you start to keep calm, you will be a happier person, which is great for you and for your family and friends.

    9. You will achieve more in your day

    When you are calm your mind will be able to process instructions in an organised manner.

    Sally noticed that once she was not so frazzled, she was able to decrease the time spent each morning showering, attending to her make-up and fixing her hair. When she was frazzled, the lipstick would not go on correctly and had to be adjusted or the shampoo bottle would explode at the wrong time, leaving a mess to be cleaned up.

    When she was calm, Sally found that mishaps were not as common.

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    When you find calm, you will achieve more in your day.

    10. You will have find your headaches disappear

    Headaches are frequently caused by anxiety. Anxiety puts a considerable amount of stress on the body, and can lead to headaches.

    When you keep calm, you put less stress in the brain. If you are prone to headaches these will decrease or disappear altogether.

    11. You will be able to handle your alcohol better

    When the liver is under stress, it is not able to filter alcohol to its optimum capacity. When you find calm in your life your liver will be better equipped to do its job properly. This is of particular concern for women when they reach menopause. Hormonal nightmare and stress is a potent combination leading to a decreased liver functioning.

    When you find calm, so will your liver.

    12. You will radiate confidence

    Say no more. A confident person is the envy of all.

    When you find peace in your life, you will radiate confidence and those around you will want to know your secret.

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    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

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