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6 Ways to Live Life on Your Own Terms

6 Ways to Live Life on Your Own Terms

If you’ve ever loaded up your Facebook feed and immediately gotten jealous of some random acquaintance from high school after seeing pictures of their vacation to Cancun, you’re not alone. We’re inundated on a daily basis with stories about how absolutely incredible other people’s lives are, while we’re left sitting in our tiny cubicle wondering when our time will come. I’m not even going to get into the fact that those other people live just as boring a life as you do; they just highlight the three days of vacation they get a year to make their lives seem a bit more interesting.

Anyway, the point is, you shouldn’t be comparing your life to others. The only way you’ll get where you want to be is if you live life on your own terms. And you can start by:

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1. Staying out of other people’s business

It’s human nature for us to want to be accepted and loved by everyone around us. It’s no surprise we’re constantly thinking the grass is greener on the other side. But the truth is, your grass is just as green as it needs to be.

Okay, enough with the metaphors. If you want to be free to live your life your way, you have to allow others to live their lives their way. There’s no reason to get involved in anyone’s life but your own.

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2. Staying away from toxic people

Then there are the people who make it a point to get into your business whenever they can. They’re the ones constantly pointing out faults in your ideas at work, or the so-called friends who try to bring you down because they hate seeing others succeed. Whether consciously or not, these people are incredibly controlling, and will do their best to make sure you live your own life on their terms. Ditch them as soon as possible.

3. Using your gifts to your advantage

Everyone in this world has a talent for something. Unfortunately, we often get so caught up in our day-to-day lives that our talents end up going to waste. Whether you’re a musician who has taken a day job as a mechanic to make ends meet, or college graduate who took a job as a barista until “something better comes along,” don’t let your skills go completely to waste. The last thing you want to do is give up on your true calling.

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4. Not working for external rewards

Money, money, money. It’s what keeps us all going, isn’t it? But does it really make you happy? If you want to live life on your own terms, you have to stop thinking of your worth in terms of how much you make. This goes for the poorest of the poor, and the richest of the rich. Some of the least monetarily successful people I know are the most enlightened; they’ve traveled the world and have thousands of stories to tell. On the other hand, some of the more well off individuals I’ve met live only to work and make more money, as if a six-digit number in their bank account will make them feel better on their deathbed.

If you want a fulfilling life, look inward. Being intrinsically motivated allows you to seek out what it is you truly want to get out of life, and make the absolute most of it each and every day.

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5. Letting your work speak for you

Going along with being intrinsically motivated, you should never boast about your accomplishments and achievements. If you’re goal is to live on your own terms, what good is telling others how great you are? In fact, it’s usually the individuals who hide behind titles, degrees, and other accomplishments that are the most insecure about who they are and what they’re capable of. You may be proud of all that you’ve done in life, but never let your accomplishments make you feel as if you’re superior to anyone else in any way.

6. Not holding yourself back

So many of us have a tendency to hesitate when faced with a difficult task or decision. While it’s definitely important to analyze situations carefully before taking any drastic measures, you don’t want to be so fearful that you don’t make a move at all. Remove any doubts you might have about your abilities. Be confident in your capacity to weather any storm that comes your way. You’ve made it this far, haven’t you?

Featured photo credit: A Pause for Contemplation, on Top of the World, Machu Picchu / Geraint Rowland via farm9.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Prevent Decision Fatigue From Clouding Your Judgement

How to Prevent Decision Fatigue From Clouding Your Judgement

What is decision fatigue? Let me explain this with an example:

When determining a court ruling, there are many factors that contribute to their final verdict. You probably assume that the judge’s decision is influenced solely by the nature of the crime committed or the particular laws that were broken. While this is completely valid, there is an even greater influential factor that dictates the judge’s decision: the time of day.

In 2012, a research team from Columbia University[1] examined 1,112 court rulings set in place by a Parole Board Judge over a 10 month period. The judge would have to determine whether the individuals in question would be released from prison on parole, or a change in the parole terms.

While the facts of the case often take precedence in decision making, the judges mental state had an alarming influence on their verdict.

As the day goes on, the chance of a favorable ruling drops:

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    Image source: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

    Does the time of day, or the judges level of hunger really contribute that greatly to their decision making? Yes, it does.

    The research went on to show that at the start of the day the likelihood of the judging giving out a favorable ruling was somewhere around 65%.

    But as the morning dragged on, the judge became fatigued and drained from making decision after decision. As more time went on, the odds of receiving a favorable ruling decreased steadily until it was whittled down to zero.

    However, right after their lunch break, the judge would return to the courtroom feeling refreshed and recharged. Energized by their second wind, their leniency skyrockets back up to a whopping 65%. And again, as the day drags on to its finish, the favorable rulings slowly diminish along with the judge’s spirits.

    This is no coincidence. According to the carefully recorded research, this was true for all 1,112 cases. The severity of the crime didn’t matter. Whether it was rape, murder, theft, or embezzlement, the criminal was more likely to get a favorable ruling either early in the morning, or after the judges lunch break.

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    Are You Suffering from Decision Fatigue Too?

    We all suffer from decision fatigue without even realizing it.

    Perhaps you aren’t a judge with the fate of an individual’s life at your disposal, but the daily decisions you make for yourself could hinder you if you’re not in the right head-space.

    Regardless of how energetic you feel (as I imagine it is somehow caffeine induced anyway), you will still experience decision fatigue. Just like every other muscle, your brain gets tired after periods of overuse, pumping out one decision after the next. It needs a chance to rest in order to function at a productive rate.

    The Detrimental Consequences of Decision Fatigue

    When you are in a position such as a Judge, you can’t afford to let your mental state dictate your decision making; but it still does. According to George Lowenstein, an American educator and economy expert, decision fatigue is to blame for poor decision making among members of high office. The disastrous level of failure among these individuals to control their impulses could be directly related to their day to day stresses at work and their private life.

    When you’re just too tired to think, you stop caring. And once you get careless, that’s when you need to worry. Decision fatigue can contribute to a number of issues such as impulse shopping (guilty), poor decision making at work, and poor decision making with after work relationships. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t dip your pen in the company ink.

    How to Make Decision Effectively

    Either alter the time of decision making to when your mind is the most fresh, or limit the number of decisions to be made. Try utilizing the following hacks for more effective decision making.

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    1. Make Your Most Important Decisions within the First 3 Hours

    You want to make decisions at your peak performance, so either first thing in the morning, or right after a break.

    Research has actually shown that you are the most productive for the first 3 hours[2] of your day. Utilize this time! Don’t waste it on trivial decisions such as what to wear, or mindlessly scrolling through social media.

    Instead, use this time to tweak your game plan. What do you want to accomplish? What can you improve? What steps do you need to take to reach these goals?

    2. Form Habits to Reduce Decision Making

    You don’t have to choose all the time.

    Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it doesn’t have to be an extravagant spread every morning. Make a habit out of eating a similar or quick breakfast, and cut that step of your morning out of the way. Can’t decide what to wear? Pick the first thing that catches your eye. We both know that after 20 minutes of changing outfits you’ll just go with the first thing anyway.

    Powerful individuals such as Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, and Mark Zuckerberg don’t waste their precious time deciding what to wear. In fact, they have been known to limiting their outfits down to two options in order to reduce their daily decision making.

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    3. Take Frequent Breaks for a Clearer Mind

    You are at your peak of productivity after a break, so to reap the benefits, you need to take lots of breaks! I know, what a sacrifice. If judges make better decisions in the morning and after their lunch break, then so will you.

    The reason for this is because the belly is now full, and the hunger is gone. Roy Baumeister, Florida State University social psychologist[3] had found that low-glucose levels take a negative toll on decision making. By taking a break to replenish your glucose levels, you will be able to focus better and improve your decision making abilities.

    Even if you aren’t hungry, little breaks are still necessary to let your mind refresh, and come back being able to think more clearly.

    Structure your break times. Decide beforehand when you will take breaks, and eat energy sustaining snacks so that your energy level doesn’t drop too low. The time you “lose” during your breaks will be made up in the end, as your productivity will increase after each break.

    So instead of slogging through your day, letting your mind deteriorate and fall victim to the daily abuses of decision making, take a break, eat a snack. Let your mind refresh and reset, and jump-start your productivity throughout the day.

    More Tips About Decision Making

    Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

    Reference

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