“By blood, I am Albanian. By citizenship, an Indian. By faith, I am a Catholic nun. As to my calling, I belong to the world. As to my heart, I belong entirely to the heart of Jesus.“Advertising
These were the words of Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa’s original name was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu. She was born on 26 August, 1910, in Uskup, Kosovo Vilayet (presently known as Skopje, Macedonia). She was baptised on 27 August, and that was the day she regarded as her true birthday. Her father, Nicola Bijaxhiu was an entrepreneur and was involved in local politics. Her mother’s name was Dranafile Bojaxhiu, and both her parents were of Albanian descent.Advertising
By the age of 12, Mother Teresa decided she would dedicate her life to religion. And at 18, she left her home, mother, and sister, to join Sisters of Loreto as a missionary, in Dublin, Ireland. Over there, she changed her name to Sister Mary Teresa, after Saint Therese of Lisieux.Advertising
During her life in Macedonia, Mother Teresa were intrigued by the lives in India, particularly, Calcutta. She was so interested, that in 1929, she made her way to India, where she lived in Darjeeling, a town in India’s west, in the Himalayan region. In May 1931, she took her first vow as a nun. Later, she was transferred to Calcutta as a teacher of Saint Mary’s High School for Girls. And in May 24, 1937, she took her final formal vow. Thus, she was entitled “Mother”, becoming Mother Teresa.Advertising
While still working for the convent, Mother Teresa felt that her real work focus was working for “the unwanted, the unloved, the uncared for”. After gaining some medical training, Mother Teresa started working in the slums of Calcutta. The main reason for this sudden transition is because on September 1946, she experienced “a call within the call” from Jesus, where the Lord asked her to work for the poor. This started her advancement towards building “The Missionaries of Charity“. The immense hard work, the struggles, and the poverty she, and some of her fellow nuns had to go through were gradually recognised by the country’s leaders, as well as the world leaders. Soon her missionaries spread throughout the globe.
Her health was deteriorating slowly. She suffered two heart attacks, and obtained a pacemaker. Due to fragile health, she stepped down from being the head of her charity in 13 March, 1997. On September 5, 1997, she breathed her last breath.
Because of the massive influence that she created, and the great impact that she has on all our lives, here are some famous quotes from Mother Teresa that will change the way you think of people.
1. Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
2. Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
3. We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.
4. Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do.. but how much love we put in that action.
5. Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely, and the unwanted according to the graces we have received, and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.
6. Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.
7. Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
8. Live simply so others may simply live.
9. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
10. If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
11. One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.
12. If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
13. Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
14. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
15. I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.
Last Updated on April 19, 2021
How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)
We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.
Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.
Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.
Table of Contents
Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.
Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger
Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:
This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.
Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.
This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.
Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.
An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.
Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.
Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.
Healthy Ways to Express Anger
What about the healthy ways to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.
Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.
Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.
Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.
Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.
Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.
When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.
Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.
Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.
How to Deal With Anger
If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?
1. Slow Down
From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.
In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.
When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.
2. Focus on the “I”
Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”
When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.
3. Work out
When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.
Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.
Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.
If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.
4. Seek Help When Needed
There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.
5. Practice Relaxation
We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.
That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.
Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.
Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.
7. Be Grateful
It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.
Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.
Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.
During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.
Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.
More Resources on Anger Management
- 10 Anger Management Lessons No One Should Miss
- 20 Things to Do When You Feel Extremely Angry
- How To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It
- 20 Effective Ways to Control a Bad Temper
Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com
|||^||Talkspace: Is There Such a Thing as Healthy Anger?|