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6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Have A Rebound Relationship

6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Have A Rebound Relationship

Break-ups can be a heart-wrenching experience. Not only does it leave you distraught and unhappy, it also bruises your self-esteem. You may find it hard to recover immediately. Perhaps this is why, for some, the best way to heal is to dive into another relationship quickly after a break-up. What is known as a rebound relationship could be an unfair and unhealthy way for you to move forward. Here is why.

1. You need some time to heal

As you end a relationship you should find time for introspection. You should have enough time to look inwards and know what went wrong with your relationship, and how you can move forward from it. A rebound breaks that course of you being able to heal and reflect through the process of a previous breakup. Time is essential to let go of the past and to embrace something new.

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2. You could be taken advantage of

A rebound relationship does not prepare you for what is next. At the point of a breakup, you are torn and broken. You should not be jumping into a relationship at this point, because you could be a victim of someone out there who wants to take advantage of your vulnerability. Instead, allow some time to pass to get prepared for what is next.

3. You are only filling a temporary gap

Whatever emotional void a breakup presents to you cannot simply be watered down by a rebound relationship. When you have been in an intimate, personal relationship with someone, you simply don’t erase the person from your mind. You do need some amount of time to get over someone. It doesn’t happen immediately or like a flash of lightning. This is why it is necessary to have some closure before walking into a new relationship. Because a rebound relationship is only there to fill a temporary gap, and it cannot offer you something solid.

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4. You destroy all hopes of getting back with your ex

Your ex has feelings too. A breakup can help both parties to look inwards, analyze, and see if there is any possibility for a future reunion. A rebound relationship destroys any chances of a possible relationship with your ex. They may have been doing well to sort out their feelings. A rebound relationship hammers the nail in the coffin and buries all the beautiful moments you have spent together.

5. You damage your reputation

A rebound relationship does not help you protect your reputation, as people who are committed are often given more respect. By not jumping into a rebound relationship, you show strength of character and a desire to achieve something. Breakups are hard and everyone understands this. But you have to own up to the situation rather than jumping into another relationship. People will take you less seriously when you are known for getting into a string of relationships one after the other.

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6. You are in a haze

After a breakup, you are in a haze and a mess emotionally. A lot of thoughts are running through your mind, and you are not your real self. Rushing into another relationship does not help you catch the eye of the person you should really be interested in. You need to be organized before getting into a relationship, as this helps the other person see you for who you really are.

Most times people do not want to face the reality of being in a breakup. They want to get into a rebound relationship to get over the fear of loneliness. The best way to deal with a breakup is to do what it entails by dealing with it. Talk to your friends, family or a therapist. You could also write, and vent your emotions through this medium. You should take good care of yourself and, with time, you will be ready to take on a new relationship.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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