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8 Things A Great Dad Would Do For His Daughter

8 Things A Great Dad Would Do For His Daughter

The role of a Father (A.K.A Dad) plays a very significant role in a young girl’s life and her development into a woman.

1. He will treat her mother with respect

It’s very important that a father treats the mother of his daughter with respect and kindness. Regardless of the relationship status between the mother and father, respect is necessary for a healthy child. The emotional and mental health of the child depends on it. Children absorb and repeat things they observe all the time, so it’s best not to argue, or do anything negative in front of your daughter. As a dad, you set the standard for how your daughter will possibly interact with others.

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2. He will give good hugs

A hug can be powerful. Providing your daughter with hugs may result in her feeling loved, secure, comforted, confident and happy. She will know she is loved by her father. Reward her with a smile, a hug and tell her something positive like “great job” for good behavior. I feel that a hug a day also keeps the doctor away. Never turn down a hug from your daughter.

3. He will spend quality time with his daughter

It’s important for a dad to spend quality time with his daughter. Quality time doesn’t have to be all day to make a positive impact on your daughter. Take her different places or plan different activities over the course of a year. Allow her to be part of the planning process, ask her what she would like to do and offer suggestions. A thirty-minute walk in the park or dance off is a fun and healthy activity that will not require money. Make sure if you have other kids, she will have at least one time a week with you without the other siblings. Each child needs their own separate alone time with their parents.

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4. He will show his support

Show your support to daughter and her endeavors. Notice I used the word show–yes she needs to physically see and feel your support not just hear you say you support her. Okay! I totally get it, you may not be able to attend all her games or events all the time. However, if you do miss her event you can make it up by bringing her a card, flower or whatever she likes.Then take some time to sit and speak with her about the event and be interested.

5. He will share

It’s okay to share with your daughter some of your hobbies. If you like to go fishing, take your daughter. Don’t allow gender biases to dictate the activities you share with your daughter. She could learn how to be patient, other valuable skills and lessons over time, during the activity.

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6. He will say I love you

Your daughter needs to hear I love you. When she is having a bad day, she will find comfort in you and those words from you. It can calm her to know that she is in a safe, secure and loved place.

7. He will allow her to earn

A great dad will allow her to earn what she wants. Giving her money will not show her the value or appreciation of money when she is younger. It’s important that he allows her to earn an allowance by working for it. Depending on her age she could wash the car, fold the clothes, water the plants or hand you the tools while you work on the car.

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8. He will allow her mind to be opened

A great dad will allow his daughters mind to be opened to new experiences, adventures, and cultures. Taking her to different museums and allowing her to participate in different activities. This will allow her to develop into a smart and kind young woman with the ability to make up her own mind through her experiences.

Every day is a gift it allows us to start over and do better than we did yesterday. What better day than today to start making improvements. It’s important to acknowledge and take accountability for our mistakes or things we did not know about. When done genuinely, it allows  the wounds to heal and a new beginning to start.

Take the time to read to your daughter, tell her she is beautiful and smart. Ask her about her favorite color, favorite subject in school and more. This will grow a beautiful bond, between you and your daughter.

Featured photo credit: Father and Child/Petras Gagilas via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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