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7 Things You Should Always Keep In Mind To Live Without Regrets

7 Things You Should Always Keep In Mind To Live Without Regrets

Some people choose to tightly grasp on to the past and stay stuck in their story, playing it over and over like a broken record. They, in turn, live with regret, anger, fear, and resentment.

Those who choose to live life with no regrets let go of the past and live joyfully in the present moment. They know that every experience gives birth to lessons and growth, even if it felt painful at the time. They look at all life experiences, both positive and negative, as part of their divine journey. They forgive themselves and others and understand their power is always in the present moment. They are grateful and optimistic, and know whatever they focus their thoughts on is what they attract. They also live by the following important mindsets.

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1. Following your unique path leads to greater fulfilment

We all have unique gifts and talents we bring to this earth, accompanied by our distinct personality. We also have a life purpose to pursue- whether it’s to inspire, create, support, protect, or teach. If pave your own path by following your passions and inner guidance, your life will take on deeper meaning and fulfilment. If you pave your own path with what society and others expect of you, you’ll waste your precious time creating a life of pain, resentment, and regret. Instead of living a life of what you think you should do, try living according to what your inner knowing guides you to do.

2. Let your passions guide you, not societal pressures

We all know the feeling of being passionate about something. Our eyes light up, our energy increases, we smile, feel fulfilled, present, and deeply connected to what we are doing. Too often we allow the pressures of society and fear to steer us into spending our days engaged in activities we feel we should do. Whether it’s working in an unsatisfying job, staying in a bad relationship, or worrying what others think, none of those behaviors serve our higher good. To check whether your passions are guiding your life, write a list of up to 10 experiences you’ve had in your life where you felt the most fulfilled and connected. Then assess how many of these activities you have done in the past twelve months. If it’s not many, then start to reduce the amount of things you feel you have to do and start doing more of what you want to do.

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3. Understand happiness is a choice

We often think that we will be happy once we get that job, car, house, or finish that course. The truth is there will always be something we are chasing after and areas we want to grow. Life is a journey of discovery, making mistakes, constantly improving ourselves and exploring our purpose, so there will always be goals we are striving for. Making your happiness dependent upon gaining external things or being perfect is a straight road to misery. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy and content right now no matter where you live, what your job is or what you are striving for. Happiness comes from within. As everything external to you is temporary, even when you do get what you think will make you happy, once it goes, so will your happiness. True happiness is being connected to your true self and living a purposeful life.

4. Don’t think twice about expressing love and appreciation

A tapestry of relationships, connections, and encounters with others constantly weaves through our lives. We support others to grow by our words and actions, while also receiving their support and love back. What’s easy to take for granted is how often we express our gratitude and appreciation to the people that make a rich contribution to our lives. When I was 20 years old, I lost my best friend to suicide. It had been a while since I told her how much I appreciated and loved her. I then spent the next 8 years living with anger and regret. Life is precious and we don’t know when we will see our friends and loved ones again. Expressing your heartfelt feelings allows you to have no regrets for whatever tomorrow may bring. It may also be exactly what the other person needs to hear to get through their current challenges.

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5. Don’t settle for less than what you truly want

You are here to create, expand, achieve, serve and receive. Through truly believing in yourself and having full trust you can achieve what you desire, you’ll stop wasting time settling for what’s in front of you out of fear you can’t get any better. You won’t live regretting you could have gone further or done more if only you didn’t settle. By continuing to focus on the goals determined by your higher guidance and not letting tests steer you off track, you can have the life of your dreams, with no regrets.

6. Creating your own definition of success is key to finding happiness

In the West we grow up learning that certain models of success are what we need to strive after. Whether it’s climbing up the corporate ladder, acquiring material possessions, or getting married and having kids, we often don’t take the time to assess if these achievements are what will truly make us fulfilled. What is right for one person may not be right for another. By identifying and honoring your unique values and the passions that drive your happiness, you can create your own definition of success that is fulfilling for your life.

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7. Forgiving yourself and others leads to freedom

Forgiving yourself for the things you did in the past allows you to move forward and create the life you were born to live. Accepting what is done is done and that you now know better, allows you to drop your story and become free. Playing out regrets from the past in your mind only creates guilt, resentment, and attachment. Forgiving others is also key to dissolving any anger and resentment that may be living inside you.

Try to accept that everyone is doing the best they can with where they are at and forgive everyone for any hurt you feel they may have caused you. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you condone their actions, it just means you can let the experience go and have neutral feelings towards them rather than letting the experience eat you up inside and cause regrets. You can write a note to yourself or the people you want to forgive, expressing all your emotions. Then burn, rip, wet or bury the note to release these feelings permanently.

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Kelly Weiss

Purpose-driven business + lifestyle coach

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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