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7 Things You Should Always Keep In Mind To Live Without Regrets

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7 Things You Should Always Keep In Mind To Live Without Regrets

Some people choose to tightly grasp on to the past and stay stuck in their story, playing it over and over like a broken record. They, in turn, live with regret, anger, fear, and resentment.

Those who choose to live life with no regrets let go of the past and live joyfully in the present moment. They know that every experience gives birth to lessons and growth, even if it felt painful at the time. They look at all life experiences, both positive and negative, as part of their divine journey. They forgive themselves and others and understand their power is always in the present moment. They are grateful and optimistic, and know whatever they focus their thoughts on is what they attract. They also live by the following important mindsets.

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1. Following your unique path leads to greater fulfilment

We all have unique gifts and talents we bring to this earth, accompanied by our distinct personality. We also have a life purpose to pursue- whether it’s to inspire, create, support, protect, or teach. If pave your own path by following your passions and inner guidance, your life will take on deeper meaning and fulfilment. If you pave your own path with what society and others expect of you, you’ll waste your precious time creating a life of pain, resentment, and regret. Instead of living a life of what you think you should do, try living according to what your inner knowing guides you to do.

2. Let your passions guide you, not societal pressures

We all know the feeling of being passionate about something. Our eyes light up, our energy increases, we smile, feel fulfilled, present, and deeply connected to what we are doing. Too often we allow the pressures of society and fear to steer us into spending our days engaged in activities we feel we should do. Whether it’s working in an unsatisfying job, staying in a bad relationship, or worrying what others think, none of those behaviors serve our higher good. To check whether your passions are guiding your life, write a list of up to 10 experiences you’ve had in your life where you felt the most fulfilled and connected. Then assess how many of these activities you have done in the past twelve months. If it’s not many, then start to reduce the amount of things you feel you have to do and start doing more of what you want to do.

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3. Understand happiness is a choice

We often think that we will be happy once we get that job, car, house, or finish that course. The truth is there will always be something we are chasing after and areas we want to grow. Life is a journey of discovery, making mistakes, constantly improving ourselves and exploring our purpose, so there will always be goals we are striving for. Making your happiness dependent upon gaining external things or being perfect is a straight road to misery. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy and content right now no matter where you live, what your job is or what you are striving for. Happiness comes from within. As everything external to you is temporary, even when you do get what you think will make you happy, once it goes, so will your happiness. True happiness is being connected to your true self and living a purposeful life.

4. Don’t think twice about expressing love and appreciation

A tapestry of relationships, connections, and encounters with others constantly weaves through our lives. We support others to grow by our words and actions, while also receiving their support and love back. What’s easy to take for granted is how often we express our gratitude and appreciation to the people that make a rich contribution to our lives. When I was 20 years old, I lost my best friend to suicide. It had been a while since I told her how much I appreciated and loved her. I then spent the next 8 years living with anger and regret. Life is precious and we don’t know when we will see our friends and loved ones again. Expressing your heartfelt feelings allows you to have no regrets for whatever tomorrow may bring. It may also be exactly what the other person needs to hear to get through their current challenges.

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5. Don’t settle for less than what you truly want

You are here to create, expand, achieve, serve and receive. Through truly believing in yourself and having full trust you can achieve what you desire, you’ll stop wasting time settling for what’s in front of you out of fear you can’t get any better. You won’t live regretting you could have gone further or done more if only you didn’t settle. By continuing to focus on the goals determined by your higher guidance and not letting tests steer you off track, you can have the life of your dreams, with no regrets.

6. Creating your own definition of success is key to finding happiness

In the West we grow up learning that certain models of success are what we need to strive after. Whether it’s climbing up the corporate ladder, acquiring material possessions, or getting married and having kids, we often don’t take the time to assess if these achievements are what will truly make us fulfilled. What is right for one person may not be right for another. By identifying and honoring your unique values and the passions that drive your happiness, you can create your own definition of success that is fulfilling for your life.

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7. Forgiving yourself and others leads to freedom

Forgiving yourself for the things you did in the past allows you to move forward and create the life you were born to live. Accepting what is done is done and that you now know better, allows you to drop your story and become free. Playing out regrets from the past in your mind only creates guilt, resentment, and attachment. Forgiving others is also key to dissolving any anger and resentment that may be living inside you.

Try to accept that everyone is doing the best they can with where they are at and forgive everyone for any hurt you feel they may have caused you. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you condone their actions, it just means you can let the experience go and have neutral feelings towards them rather than letting the experience eat you up inside and cause regrets. You can write a note to yourself or the people you want to forgive, expressing all your emotions. Then burn, rip, wet or bury the note to release these feelings permanently.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2022

21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

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21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.

Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.

Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.

People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.

Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

Still, many of us try them.

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However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

Here’re 21 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work:

1. Avoid excessive communication.

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”

Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

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2. See it as an opportunity.

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.

For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.

To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

5. Talk dirty with each other.

Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.

Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.

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You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.

Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.

7. Do things together.

Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).

You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

8. Do similar things.

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

9. Make visits to each other.

Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.

The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

10. Have a goal in mind.

Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.

In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.

So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.

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It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.

11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

12. Stay honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

13. Know each other’s schedules.

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.

14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.

16. Get a good messaging app.

This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.

Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

17. Snail-mail your gift.

Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.

18. Stay positive.

You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.

One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

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19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

20. Video-call whenever possible.

Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.

21. Give each other pet names.

Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.

Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.

With the best wishes…

Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.

Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.

More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
  • Carol Morgan —  A communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach
  • Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
  • Randy Skilton —  An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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