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12 Things Unemotional Women Understand

12 Things Unemotional Women Understand

Are you an unemotional woman? Many unemotional women go through life wondering why they do not feel more sensitive and emotional, but for some this is totally normal. It isn’t strange or a sign of not being well-adjusted — it is simply a different way of dealing with your feelings.

However, there are ups and downs to being unemotional. Check out the following 12 things that all unemotional women will understand.

1. You wish you were better at comforting others.

You always feel awkward whenever you are supposed to be comforting someone. You genuinely sympathise with them and you wish you could cheer them up, but you never know what to say to make things better.

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2. You avoid other people when you’re upset.

You always try to distance yourself from others if you are feeling upset. You really struggle to open up to others, and you don’t want them to feel awkward. You know many women find comfort in being around others when something is bothering them, but you just want to hide until you feel better.

3. You are often misinterpreted as being socially awkward.

You don’t have a problem talking to other people, but people always mistake you for being uncomfortable in social situations. You actually like talking to other people and making friends, but conversations rarely rile you up — you’re happy enough to listen to the others share their feelings.

4. You don’t cry at movies. (But they still move you.)

You don’t cry during sad movies — but you still love watching them. Other people think it is strange that you don’t start to blub during Marley and Me, but you secretly find them weird for crying over something that isn’t real.

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5. Confessions of the heart make you cringe.

Emotional declarations of love and commitment make you feel nauseous. You struggle to express your own emotions, so you don’t know how to reply to someone proclaiming their love.

6. You struggle with romantic relationships.

You regularly get crushes on people and you’ve had romantic relationships in the past, but your lack of emotions often gets in the way of a relationship forming. You struggle to communicate your feelings well, and you’ve always envied people who are totally comfortable discussing their thoughts.

7. You have been jokingly called ‘heartless’.

Your friends regularly call you heartless as a joke because you don’t cry at movies and you struggle to discuss your feelings. You actually have a lot of love to give, so you never take the jokes to heart.

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8. Your friends come to you if they need to calm down.

Your friends come to you whenever they need to get some perspective and calm down. You understand why they are upset, but you offer a calm, rational attitude that helps your friends to let go of negative emotions.

9. You find forming bonds with others difficult.

A big part of bonding is opening up to each other and discussing difficult emotions. This makes it hard for you to form new friendships, but it also means you treasure the friendships that you have.

10. You are always blunt with others.

You are blunt with your loved ones and proud of it. The people you care about deserve your honesty, and you always deliver.

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11. You have found creative ways to express your emotions.

Many unemotional people express their emotions through another activity, such as kick-boxing, keeping a journal or painting. You let your emotion out with other outlets, which helps you to deal effectively with any negative emotions that you are feeling.

12. You can get emotional — when it comes to your loved ones.

You love your friends and family just as much as any emotional person would. You can’t help being unemotional, but it would never stop you from caring about your loved ones. You never want to see them hurt or upset, and they understand and love you for this.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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