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7 Reasons You Face The Same Problems Again And Again

7 Reasons You Face The Same Problems Again And Again

I’ve done it. So have you. We keep doing the same thing and we keep getting the same results. Sometimes they are the results we don’t really want. And when it comes to the challenges, the same goes. wW seem to manifest the same problems again and again.

Why is that? Why do the same problems (hiding in different shapes and forms) keep rearing their ugly head?

Proponents of The Law of Attraction believe that if you keep complaining about a problem or challenge, or obsessively think about it, you just recreate the problem. Could that be the reason it keeps reappearing?

Maybe. But I believe there’s more, and it’s all about learning a lesson.

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Now, keep in mind that there are things that happen in the world for no apparent reason. It’s the Uncertainty Principle at work, and it’s a reality of physics and life. But most of the time, events and circumstances in your life keep reappearing until you get that major take away – the one that is life transforming. That “ah ha-I’ve got this!” moment. Comprendez?

Let’s break it down. Why do you face the same problems (although repackaged) again and again? Here’s why (and as you will see, it all has to do with your ability to LEARN the lesson):

1.You are wearing blinders or earmuffs.

In other words, you are only choosing to see or hear what you want to in a particular circumstance, instead of being open to new ideas, points of view and information, which may, in fact, be in direct opposition to your beliefs.

2.You believe your way is the only way.

This is all about your ego. If you put up a roadblock or “do not enter” sign, how can you expect to anything to change? When young children can’t get their way, they stand, arms folded and pout. The problem won’t go away when you pout and are inflexible.

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3. Your communication is kinked.

When a wire is kinked, it can’t transmit a signal properly. The same goes with your ability to communicate. If you don’t communicate clearly, and without drama or negative words, you won’t relay what you truly intend to. That problem will just resurface.

4. You lack understanding, empathy and compassion.

Some of the world’s toughest challenges and problems are resolved through understanding, empathy and compassion for others. If the problem involves others, can you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and view the problem from their point of view?

5. You are unwilling to take (calculated) risks or you take too many poor risks.

Taking calculated risks entails understanding the consequences and potential loss or gain of the risk before you take it. If the gain appears greater the loss, it may be a risk you are willing to take. Problems keep repeating themselves when you fear taking any risk, even a favorable one. Trying something new involves being a bit vulnerable and opening up to learning something new. Or at the other extreme, you have chosen to take too many poor risks which lead to back to the same place, same old problem.

6. You are stuck in your backyard bubble.

Sometimes problems can be resolved by changing up your landscape. Venture out of your bubble to discover and explore new environments, people, and new ways of doing things. Then your problem may be tackled with fresh solutions.

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7. You have watched Groundhog Day too many times.

Just like in the movie, Groundhog Day, Bill Murray keeps waking up each morning and living the new day nearly exactly as the day before. Everything repeats itself.

The key to break the “same problem” cycle is to recognize and acknowledge your mistakes, learn the lesson, and move forward. Don’t play victim. Don’t blame your mom, dad, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, brother or best friend. Don’t blame the abuser or the bully. With certain exceptions of random events, most of your life is dictated by you and how you choose to respond to life circumstances.

You co-create your reality. You are the driving force behind much of your life’s direction, events and challenges. You create most of your own struggles.

All of this simply boils down to you learning something from the continued problems you face. If it’s a money problem, perhaps you need to learn how to better manage money. If it’s a relationship problem, you may need to work on enhancing your communication skills. When problematic situations in your corporate career continue to appear, maybe its a sign to opt out and try a fresh start.

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Whether you are younger or older, you can always learn something new. Most top leaders are not afraid to try new things for fear of failure. They push past each and every problem they may encounter, learn from mistakes and move forward. That ability to be resilient is a major key to success (on many levels) in life. The same problems no longer reappear, but be ready for new ones along the way. Problems are only life’s way of teaching you a lesson.

Are you ready and willing to learn?

Featured photo credit: CollegeDegrees360 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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