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9 Reasons Staying Single For A Long Time Will Boost Your Next Relationship

9 Reasons Staying Single For A Long Time Will Boost Your Next Relationship

Not everyone wants to be in a relationship and not everyone wants to be single. They are two different worlds. But getting the best out of both of these experiences can be crucial for your happiness. Yes, we all want to be happy, whether we are in a relationship or not.

Despite what some people may think, taking time out to be on your own can help you to become a better person and allow you to be ready for the challenges a new relationship will bring. Being single for a long time can actually be really helpful in preparing you for your next relationship. Here are some reasons why:

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1. You are able to establish new standards

Being single can sometimes make it easier to be more picky and to set clearer standards for yourself. This allows you to be able to learn what you really want in a partner and to identify that person when they come along.

2. You are mentally stronger

Being single gives you a level of independence. This boosts your mental strength and your willingness to cope with challenges. You don’t fuss about the small stuff because you are able to see these things in a different light, allowing you to become a person more capable of thriving in a relationship.

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3. You have more confidence

Being single definitely helps you to feel more secure in certain aspects of your life. Because of your confidence, you don’t enter a new relationship because you are insecure or feel inferior; rather you do so because you seek someone who will complement your life. You have your self-esteem in check and as such, you are able to deal effectively with anything that might harm your self-confidence.

4. You have something to offer your partner

Yes, being single can help to strengthen many of your life skills. You are more structured, and organised, and your life skills are something that you can offer a partner, helping them to remain content and feel supported.

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5. You are not afraid to take risks

Due to being single, you are often willing to try out many new things and this can lead you to develop a more holistic outlook on life. You are able to enjoy not feeling stuck- experiencing a great sense of freedom. Being in a relationship will not change this all of a sudden, or necessarily threaten your sense of freedom. Rather you will bring this adventurous set of instincts to your new relationship, and I bet your new partner will find it invigorating.

6. You can trust yourself

Whether your partner is looking for this quality or not, through being single for a long time you have become more trusting. You can trust yourself to make major decisions, while also allowing a partner to offer their opinions and/or support. You are not fickle or indecisive when making decisions about a range of matters. Because of this, you have been able to develop opinions and perspectives that can strengthen a relationship.

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7. You know what you deserve

You can ask for the things that matter to you in your relationship. You are not silent or passive aggressive. If you want better sex, you can ask for it. If you want better communication, you can ask for it. You are not there to be taken for granted. Rather you make sure that you are valued in the relationship. Every person serious about a relationship wants a partner who is actively engaged with making the relationship harmonious and enjoyable.

8. You know the hidden elements in a relationship

Being single exposed you to what is necessary in your world- and what might be missing in your world too. Entering a relationship makes you discover a new angle on your life. Yes, you know what you need and how a relationship can help you to get these things. Thus, because of these discoveries, you can value a relationship for what it offers you.

9. You don’t have any limitations

While some people may feel trapped by an obligation to pursue marriage/ a serious long-term relationship, this is not the case for you. You have stayed single for so long that you can now navigate almost any obstacle or sharp corner with confidence. You are able to discover and learn, rather than getting stuck and lost in self doubt. You are a survivor and being single for so long has prepared you well for the challenges any new relationship will bring.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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