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20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

1. To act like a lady, think like one

single-ladies-o

    Society has the habit of stigmatizing all behaviors that are seen as “feminine.” Crying, getting hurt, wanting kids, marriage, believing in true love, the list is endless. The only way for you to succeed in this world is by being who you are. You are not a man and therefor cannot think, act or behave like one and neither should you have any intention of doing so. Own your femininity and get things done in true woman fashion.

    2. You can achieve all your goals through good old fashioned hard work

    Oprah hardwork

      You do not have to sleep your way to the top, we do not have to see your sex tape, you don’t have to be on reality TV, you don’t have to be the center of controversy. Hard work, persistence, intelligence, resilience, ambition, education, these are assets that have stood the test of time and they are a proven formula to realizing even your wildest dreams.

      3. Women make exceptional leaders

      What do General Motors, Hewlett Packard, Oracle, Xerox Corporation, Avon Products, Yahoo!, Pepsi and IBM (to name a few) have in common? they are all Fortune 500 companies and they all have female CEO’s. Yes, there is room for women in the boardroom and they are doing a pretty darn good job at it. Most importantly, they have paved the way for the younger generation. We are not the majority, not because we cannot do it but because we were not given access to those roles – but all that is changing as more and more women are filling executive positions in big corporations.

      act like lady

        4. There is no trade off between having a family and having a career

        Putting off marriage and having kids in pursuit of a career is a preconceived misconception highly popularized by the mass media. You can do both, simultaneously or consecutively; either way it is achievable and worth aspiring to.

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        family

          5. Do not pride yourself in having no female friends and only male friends.

          Growing up as women, we were told that we could not get along with other women, that other women were jealous of our successes and good looks. How many of your turmoils are caused by envy and hate from other women? Not much. Life is hard enough as it is, and people (men and women alike) will not always like you. You will come to find the importance of sticking together as women to open those doors and become trend setters in some very male dominated industries. Most victims of rape and abuse are women; the people who can sympathize and show more compassion towards those victims are women too. We are not opposition but each other’s support structure.

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            6. If you find a good man, keep him and work on it

            In the name of independence we have been told to not be too relationship focused. any women who expresses a desire to be in a healthy and loving relationship is seen as weak and lacks ambition. Unless your ultimate goal is to be single forever, do not be apologetic for wanting to make your relationship work and priding yourself in having a good man. It’s human to want love and even better to find it.

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              7. Acceptance is freedom

              If you have some pounds to shed and need to adopt a healthier lifestyle, by all means you should always strive to be better. If you have a forehead that sticks out, there’s no need to spend half your life fussing and obsessing over it. No one cares. The thing with insecurities is, you’re the only one who notices them. Everybody else is too busy with their own life. A man who loves you will accept you with your A-cup breast size and love you regardless

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              taller

                8. Intelligence is sexy

                Better than a new pair of heels, nothing is more attractive than a smart and educated woman. The thing with being a dumb pretty girl is that it gets really old, really fast. A woman who can engage in intellectual conversation from politics, economics, philosophy, arts and science is always a keeper. You do not have to be an expert in everything. Just be informed, be clued up, stay updated and form an opinion from education and not twitter feeds.

                intelligence kelly

                  9. Playing hard to get is not sexy

                  No need to make him go though hoops to get to you. Be yourself, be approachable, be sincere and if he is worthy, he will earn you eventually. The thing with hard to get: it’s usually for show and some boys will put on the show just to prove something to people or convince themselves of their own worthiness. Commitment isn’t chasing someone for two years; commitment is staying with someone even when things aren’t so rosy and breezy.

                  freinds

                    10. You’re never too old for new friends

                    No need to be so closed minded and protective over your life. Explore the world and be open to meeting people. You do not need to become BFF’s but you will definitely come across people who will be worth your attention and they will have so much to teach you

                    hard to get

                      11. Yes to Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM)

                      Women are doing these things and are owning it. Yes Marissa Mayer, yes Sheryl Sandburg, Anne Nicolas, Carmela Orlando, Sharlene Abrams, Jocelyn Attal, Jo Anderson, Susan Bailey. This list is endless

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                      science

                        12. You are never too old to start but the window does get smaller

                        The reality, unfortunately, is that we are all going to die. If you have a dream to pursue now would be a good time. You are never too old to start your own business but doing it in your twenties where you can afford to take major risks is different to doing it in your 50’s where you may have kids to tend to, a home to pay off, health to worry about, student loans and dependents. There is a certain amount of stress you should be allowed to have in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s…

                        13. Your twenties are a good time to be sowing

                        …And by sowing I mean making all the right investments. Not just money wise, but investing in your self development, investing in building your career, investing in your professional profile and who you want to be known as and known for. You work to learn, not to earn. Don’t be in too much of a rush to make it before such and such, seek first your self worth and all things will surely follow

                        young

                          14. Wisdom is God given

                          They say people come in to your life for a reason, season or lifetime. Be careful to not put lifetime expectations on seasonal people. With age comes wisdom and the ability to be a good judge of circumstance and character. As with jobs, if you get an opportunity to do something out of your comfort zone, take it. No amount of education or experience can prepare you for the unexpected in life. Sometimes, despite your utmost and your dedication, things will not go your way. Do not be discouraged, having wisdom to know when to let go and when to keep pushing is a skill worth mastering and you can spend your entire life doing so.

                          15. Life is too short for sugar free dessert

                          acceptance

                            16. Life is too short to live in regret

                            If you made mistakes, learn from it and become wiser. No use regretting. Move on. The past is long gone

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                            17. Take calculated risks

                            if you take a risk two things are likely to happen, 1) you win or  2) you become wiser. So take more risks.

                            kick ass

                              18. Find your talent and become the best at it

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                                19. A happy home, a happy husband and happy kids is a definite #life-goal

                                Will-Smith-Family

                                  20. A good woman is always a good woman

                                  good woman

                                    Looks fade, body shape changes after kids, you get older and interest changes. But a good and virtuous woman is and will always be one. So work on you and be everything that you can be.

                                    Dream big, think big and be fierce!

                                    The Perfect Outfit

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                                      Kayiba Mpoyi

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                                      Published on May 4, 2021

                                      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                      They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

                                      In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

                                      How to Spot Fake People?

                                      When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

                                      Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

                                      1. Full of Themselves

                                      Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

                                      Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

                                      2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

                                      Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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                                      It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

                                      3. Zero Self-Reflection

                                      To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

                                      Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

                                      4. Unrealistic Perceptions

                                      Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

                                      A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

                                      5. Love Attention

                                      As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

                                      6. People Pleaser

                                      Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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                                      Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

                                      7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

                                      Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

                                      8. Crappy friend

                                      Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

                                      It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

                                      The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

                                      How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

                                      It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

                                      There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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                                      1. Boundaries

                                      Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

                                      2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

                                      Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

                                      3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

                                      If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

                                      4. Ask for Advice

                                      If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

                                      Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

                                      5. Dig Deeper

                                      Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

                                      Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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                                      6. Practice Self-Care!

                                      Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

                                      Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

                                      Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

                                      Final Thoughts

                                      Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

                                      We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

                                      More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

                                      Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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