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20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

1. To act like a lady, think like one

single-ladies-o

    Society has the habit of stigmatizing all behaviors that are seen as “feminine.” Crying, getting hurt, wanting kids, marriage, believing in true love, the list is endless. The only way for you to succeed in this world is by being who you are. You are not a man and therefor cannot think, act or behave like one and neither should you have any intention of doing so. Own your femininity and get things done in true woman fashion.

    2. You can achieve all your goals through good old fashioned hard work

    Oprah hardwork

      You do not have to sleep your way to the top, we do not have to see your sex tape, you don’t have to be on reality TV, you don’t have to be the center of controversy. Hard work, persistence, intelligence, resilience, ambition, education, these are assets that have stood the test of time and they are a proven formula to realizing even your wildest dreams.

      3. Women make exceptional leaders

      What do General Motors, Hewlett Packard, Oracle, Xerox Corporation, Avon Products, Yahoo!, Pepsi and IBM (to name a few) have in common? they are all Fortune 500 companies and they all have female CEO’s. Yes, there is room for women in the boardroom and they are doing a pretty darn good job at it. Most importantly, they have paved the way for the younger generation. We are not the majority, not because we cannot do it but because we were not given access to those roles – but all that is changing as more and more women are filling executive positions in big corporations.

      act like lady

        4. There is no trade off between having a family and having a career

        Putting off marriage and having kids in pursuit of a career is a preconceived misconception highly popularized by the mass media. You can do both, simultaneously or consecutively; either way it is achievable and worth aspiring to.

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        family

          5. Do not pride yourself in having no female friends and only male friends.

          Growing up as women, we were told that we could not get along with other women, that other women were jealous of our successes and good looks. How many of your turmoils are caused by envy and hate from other women? Not much. Life is hard enough as it is, and people (men and women alike) will not always like you. You will come to find the importance of sticking together as women to open those doors and become trend setters in some very male dominated industries. Most victims of rape and abuse are women; the people who can sympathize and show more compassion towards those victims are women too. We are not opposition but each other’s support structure.

          friends

            6. If you find a good man, keep him and work on it

            In the name of independence we have been told to not be too relationship focused. any women who expresses a desire to be in a healthy and loving relationship is seen as weak and lacks ambition. Unless your ultimate goal is to be single forever, do not be apologetic for wanting to make your relationship work and priding yourself in having a good man. It’s human to want love and even better to find it.

            notebook love

              7. Acceptance is freedom

              If you have some pounds to shed and need to adopt a healthier lifestyle, by all means you should always strive to be better. If you have a forehead that sticks out, there’s no need to spend half your life fussing and obsessing over it. No one cares. The thing with insecurities is, you’re the only one who notices them. Everybody else is too busy with their own life. A man who loves you will accept you with your A-cup breast size and love you regardless

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              taller

                8. Intelligence is sexy

                Better than a new pair of heels, nothing is more attractive than a smart and educated woman. The thing with being a dumb pretty girl is that it gets really old, really fast. A woman who can engage in intellectual conversation from politics, economics, philosophy, arts and science is always a keeper. You do not have to be an expert in everything. Just be informed, be clued up, stay updated and form an opinion from education and not twitter feeds.

                intelligence kelly

                  9. Playing hard to get is not sexy

                  No need to make him go though hoops to get to you. Be yourself, be approachable, be sincere and if he is worthy, he will earn you eventually. The thing with hard to get: it’s usually for show and some boys will put on the show just to prove something to people or convince themselves of their own worthiness. Commitment isn’t chasing someone for two years; commitment is staying with someone even when things aren’t so rosy and breezy.

                  freinds

                    10. You’re never too old for new friends

                    No need to be so closed minded and protective over your life. Explore the world and be open to meeting people. You do not need to become BFF’s but you will definitely come across people who will be worth your attention and they will have so much to teach you

                    hard to get

                      11. Yes to Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM)

                      Women are doing these things and are owning it. Yes Marissa Mayer, yes Sheryl Sandburg, Anne Nicolas, Carmela Orlando, Sharlene Abrams, Jocelyn Attal, Jo Anderson, Susan Bailey. This list is endless

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                      science

                        12. You are never too old to start but the window does get smaller

                        The reality, unfortunately, is that we are all going to die. If you have a dream to pursue now would be a good time. You are never too old to start your own business but doing it in your twenties where you can afford to take major risks is different to doing it in your 50’s where you may have kids to tend to, a home to pay off, health to worry about, student loans and dependents. There is a certain amount of stress you should be allowed to have in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s…

                        13. Your twenties are a good time to be sowing

                        …And by sowing I mean making all the right investments. Not just money wise, but investing in your self development, investing in building your career, investing in your professional profile and who you want to be known as and known for. You work to learn, not to earn. Don’t be in too much of a rush to make it before such and such, seek first your self worth and all things will surely follow

                        young

                          14. Wisdom is God given

                          They say people come in to your life for a reason, season or lifetime. Be careful to not put lifetime expectations on seasonal people. With age comes wisdom and the ability to be a good judge of circumstance and character. As with jobs, if you get an opportunity to do something out of your comfort zone, take it. No amount of education or experience can prepare you for the unexpected in life. Sometimes, despite your utmost and your dedication, things will not go your way. Do not be discouraged, having wisdom to know when to let go and when to keep pushing is a skill worth mastering and you can spend your entire life doing so.

                          15. Life is too short for sugar free dessert

                          acceptance

                            16. Life is too short to live in regret

                            If you made mistakes, learn from it and become wiser. No use regretting. Move on. The past is long gone

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                            17. Take calculated risks

                            if you take a risk two things are likely to happen, 1) you win or  2) you become wiser. So take more risks.

                            kick ass

                              18. Find your talent and become the best at it

                              talent

                                19. A happy home, a happy husband and happy kids is a definite #life-goal

                                Will-Smith-Family

                                  20. A good woman is always a good woman

                                  good woman

                                    Looks fade, body shape changes after kids, you get older and interest changes. But a good and virtuous woman is and will always be one. So work on you and be everything that you can be.

                                    Dream big, think big and be fierce!

                                    The Perfect Outfit

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                                      1 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It) 2 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 3 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 4 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 5 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People?

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                                      Last Updated on March 30, 2020

                                      What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

                                      What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

                                      Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

                                      You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

                                      This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

                                      What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

                                      According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

                                      Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

                                      There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

                                      How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

                                      When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

                                      Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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                                      1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

                                      One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

                                      The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

                                      Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

                                      2. Be Honest

                                      A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

                                      If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

                                      On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

                                      Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

                                      3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

                                      Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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                                      If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

                                      4. Succeed at Something

                                      When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

                                      Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

                                      5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

                                      Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

                                      Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

                                      If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

                                      If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

                                      Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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                                      6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

                                      Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

                                      You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

                                      On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

                                      You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

                                      7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

                                      Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

                                      Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

                                      Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

                                      When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

                                      Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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                                      In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

                                      Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

                                      It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

                                      Final Thoughts

                                      When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

                                      The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

                                      Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

                                      Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

                                      Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

                                      More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

                                      Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

                                      Reference

                                      [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
                                      [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
                                      [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
                                      [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
                                      [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
                                      [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
                                      [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
                                      [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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