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20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

1. To act like a lady, think like one

single-ladies-o

    Society has the habit of stigmatizing all behaviors that are seen as “feminine.” Crying, getting hurt, wanting kids, marriage, believing in true love, the list is endless. The only way for you to succeed in this world is by being who you are. You are not a man and therefor cannot think, act or behave like one and neither should you have any intention of doing so. Own your femininity and get things done in true woman fashion.

    2. You can achieve all your goals through good old fashioned hard work

    Oprah hardwork

      You do not have to sleep your way to the top, we do not have to see your sex tape, you don’t have to be on reality TV, you don’t have to be the center of controversy. Hard work, persistence, intelligence, resilience, ambition, education, these are assets that have stood the test of time and they are a proven formula to realizing even your wildest dreams.

      3. Women make exceptional leaders

      What do General Motors, Hewlett Packard, Oracle, Xerox Corporation, Avon Products, Yahoo!, Pepsi and IBM (to name a few) have in common? they are all Fortune 500 companies and they all have female CEO’s. Yes, there is room for women in the boardroom and they are doing a pretty darn good job at it. Most importantly, they have paved the way for the younger generation. We are not the majority, not because we cannot do it but because we were not given access to those roles – but all that is changing as more and more women are filling executive positions in big corporations.

      act like lady

        4. There is no trade off between having a family and having a career

        Putting off marriage and having kids in pursuit of a career is a preconceived misconception highly popularized by the mass media. You can do both, simultaneously or consecutively; either way it is achievable and worth aspiring to.

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        family

          5. Do not pride yourself in having no female friends and only male friends.

          Growing up as women, we were told that we could not get along with other women, that other women were jealous of our successes and good looks. How many of your turmoils are caused by envy and hate from other women? Not much. Life is hard enough as it is, and people (men and women alike) will not always like you. You will come to find the importance of sticking together as women to open those doors and become trend setters in some very male dominated industries. Most victims of rape and abuse are women; the people who can sympathize and show more compassion towards those victims are women too. We are not opposition but each other’s support structure.

          friends

            6. If you find a good man, keep him and work on it

            In the name of independence we have been told to not be too relationship focused. any women who expresses a desire to be in a healthy and loving relationship is seen as weak and lacks ambition. Unless your ultimate goal is to be single forever, do not be apologetic for wanting to make your relationship work and priding yourself in having a good man. It’s human to want love and even better to find it.

            notebook love

              7. Acceptance is freedom

              If you have some pounds to shed and need to adopt a healthier lifestyle, by all means you should always strive to be better. If you have a forehead that sticks out, there’s no need to spend half your life fussing and obsessing over it. No one cares. The thing with insecurities is, you’re the only one who notices them. Everybody else is too busy with their own life. A man who loves you will accept you with your A-cup breast size and love you regardless

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              taller

                8. Intelligence is sexy

                Better than a new pair of heels, nothing is more attractive than a smart and educated woman. The thing with being a dumb pretty girl is that it gets really old, really fast. A woman who can engage in intellectual conversation from politics, economics, philosophy, arts and science is always a keeper. You do not have to be an expert in everything. Just be informed, be clued up, stay updated and form an opinion from education and not twitter feeds.

                intelligence kelly

                  9. Playing hard to get is not sexy

                  No need to make him go though hoops to get to you. Be yourself, be approachable, be sincere and if he is worthy, he will earn you eventually. The thing with hard to get: it’s usually for show and some boys will put on the show just to prove something to people or convince themselves of their own worthiness. Commitment isn’t chasing someone for two years; commitment is staying with someone even when things aren’t so rosy and breezy.

                  freinds

                    10. You’re never too old for new friends

                    No need to be so closed minded and protective over your life. Explore the world and be open to meeting people. You do not need to become BFF’s but you will definitely come across people who will be worth your attention and they will have so much to teach you

                    hard to get

                      11. Yes to Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM)

                      Women are doing these things and are owning it. Yes Marissa Mayer, yes Sheryl Sandburg, Anne Nicolas, Carmela Orlando, Sharlene Abrams, Jocelyn Attal, Jo Anderson, Susan Bailey. This list is endless

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                      science

                        12. You are never too old to start but the window does get smaller

                        The reality, unfortunately, is that we are all going to die. If you have a dream to pursue now would be a good time. You are never too old to start your own business but doing it in your twenties where you can afford to take major risks is different to doing it in your 50’s where you may have kids to tend to, a home to pay off, health to worry about, student loans and dependents. There is a certain amount of stress you should be allowed to have in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s…

                        13. Your twenties are a good time to be sowing

                        …And by sowing I mean making all the right investments. Not just money wise, but investing in your self development, investing in building your career, investing in your professional profile and who you want to be known as and known for. You work to learn, not to earn. Don’t be in too much of a rush to make it before such and such, seek first your self worth and all things will surely follow

                        young

                          14. Wisdom is God given

                          They say people come in to your life for a reason, season or lifetime. Be careful to not put lifetime expectations on seasonal people. With age comes wisdom and the ability to be a good judge of circumstance and character. As with jobs, if you get an opportunity to do something out of your comfort zone, take it. No amount of education or experience can prepare you for the unexpected in life. Sometimes, despite your utmost and your dedication, things will not go your way. Do not be discouraged, having wisdom to know when to let go and when to keep pushing is a skill worth mastering and you can spend your entire life doing so.

                          15. Life is too short for sugar free dessert

                          acceptance

                            16. Life is too short to live in regret

                            If you made mistakes, learn from it and become wiser. No use regretting. Move on. The past is long gone

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                            17. Take calculated risks

                            if you take a risk two things are likely to happen, 1) you win or  2) you become wiser. So take more risks.

                            kick ass

                              18. Find your talent and become the best at it

                              talent

                                19. A happy home, a happy husband and happy kids is a definite #life-goal

                                Will-Smith-Family

                                  20. A good woman is always a good woman

                                  good woman

                                    Looks fade, body shape changes after kids, you get older and interest changes. But a good and virtuous woman is and will always be one. So work on you and be everything that you can be.

                                    Dream big, think big and be fierce!

                                    The Perfect Outfit

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                                      Published on September 23, 2020

                                      6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

                                      6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

                                      I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

                                      If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

                                      What is Negotiation?

                                      First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

                                      Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

                                      In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

                                      Places We Negotiate

                                      I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

                                      1. Work/Business

                                      This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

                                      When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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                                      In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

                                      Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

                                      2. Personal

                                      I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

                                      I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

                                      Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

                                      3. Ourselves

                                      You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

                                      I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

                                      Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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                                      Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

                                      Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

                                      We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

                                      My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

                                      If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

                                      As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

                                      6 Negotiation Skills to Master

                                      Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

                                      Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

                                      1. Preparation

                                      Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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                                      It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

                                      For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

                                      After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

                                      2. Clear Communication

                                      The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

                                      If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

                                      3. Active Listening

                                      Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

                                      If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

                                      4. Teamwork and Collaboration

                                      To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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                                      If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

                                      When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

                                      5. Problem Solving

                                      Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

                                      Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

                                      From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

                                      There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

                                      6. Decision-Making Ability

                                      Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

                                      Conclusion

                                      There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

                                      Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

                                      More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

                                      Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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