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20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

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20 Things All Girls Should Understand About Being A Woman

1. To act like a lady, think like one

single-ladies-o

    Society has the habit of stigmatizing all behaviors that are seen as “feminine.” Crying, getting hurt, wanting kids, marriage, believing in true love, the list is endless. The only way for you to succeed in this world is by being who you are. You are not a man and therefor cannot think, act or behave like one and neither should you have any intention of doing so. Own your femininity and get things done in true woman fashion.

    2. You can achieve all your goals through good old fashioned hard work

    Oprah hardwork

      You do not have to sleep your way to the top, we do not have to see your sex tape, you don’t have to be on reality TV, you don’t have to be the center of controversy. Hard work, persistence, intelligence, resilience, ambition, education, these are assets that have stood the test of time and they are a proven formula to realizing even your wildest dreams.

      3. Women make exceptional leaders

      What do General Motors, Hewlett Packard, Oracle, Xerox Corporation, Avon Products, Yahoo!, Pepsi and IBM (to name a few) have in common? they are all Fortune 500 companies and they all have female CEO’s. Yes, there is room for women in the boardroom and they are doing a pretty darn good job at it. Most importantly, they have paved the way for the younger generation. We are not the majority, not because we cannot do it but because we were not given access to those roles – but all that is changing as more and more women are filling executive positions in big corporations.

      act like lady

        4. There is no trade off between having a family and having a career

        Putting off marriage and having kids in pursuit of a career is a preconceived misconception highly popularized by the mass media. You can do both, simultaneously or consecutively; either way it is achievable and worth aspiring to.

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        family

          5. Do not pride yourself in having no female friends and only male friends.

          Growing up as women, we were told that we could not get along with other women, that other women were jealous of our successes and good looks. How many of your turmoils are caused by envy and hate from other women? Not much. Life is hard enough as it is, and people (men and women alike) will not always like you. You will come to find the importance of sticking together as women to open those doors and become trend setters in some very male dominated industries. Most victims of rape and abuse are women; the people who can sympathize and show more compassion towards those victims are women too. We are not opposition but each other’s support structure.

          friends

            6. If you find a good man, keep him and work on it

            In the name of independence we have been told to not be too relationship focused. any women who expresses a desire to be in a healthy and loving relationship is seen as weak and lacks ambition. Unless your ultimate goal is to be single forever, do not be apologetic for wanting to make your relationship work and priding yourself in having a good man. It’s human to want love and even better to find it.

            notebook love

              7. Acceptance is freedom

              If you have some pounds to shed and need to adopt a healthier lifestyle, by all means you should always strive to be better. If you have a forehead that sticks out, there’s no need to spend half your life fussing and obsessing over it. No one cares. The thing with insecurities is, you’re the only one who notices them. Everybody else is too busy with their own life. A man who loves you will accept you with your A-cup breast size and love you regardless

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              taller

                8. Intelligence is sexy

                Better than a new pair of heels, nothing is more attractive than a smart and educated woman. The thing with being a dumb pretty girl is that it gets really old, really fast. A woman who can engage in intellectual conversation from politics, economics, philosophy, arts and science is always a keeper. You do not have to be an expert in everything. Just be informed, be clued up, stay updated and form an opinion from education and not twitter feeds.

                intelligence kelly

                  9. Playing hard to get is not sexy

                  No need to make him go though hoops to get to you. Be yourself, be approachable, be sincere and if he is worthy, he will earn you eventually. The thing with hard to get: it’s usually for show and some boys will put on the show just to prove something to people or convince themselves of their own worthiness. Commitment isn’t chasing someone for two years; commitment is staying with someone even when things aren’t so rosy and breezy.

                  freinds

                    10. You’re never too old for new friends

                    No need to be so closed minded and protective over your life. Explore the world and be open to meeting people. You do not need to become BFF’s but you will definitely come across people who will be worth your attention and they will have so much to teach you

                    hard to get

                      11. Yes to Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM)

                      Women are doing these things and are owning it. Yes Marissa Mayer, yes Sheryl Sandburg, Anne Nicolas, Carmela Orlando, Sharlene Abrams, Jocelyn Attal, Jo Anderson, Susan Bailey. This list is endless

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                      science

                        12. You are never too old to start but the window does get smaller

                        The reality, unfortunately, is that we are all going to die. If you have a dream to pursue now would be a good time. You are never too old to start your own business but doing it in your twenties where you can afford to take major risks is different to doing it in your 50’s where you may have kids to tend to, a home to pay off, health to worry about, student loans and dependents. There is a certain amount of stress you should be allowed to have in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s…

                        13. Your twenties are a good time to be sowing

                        …And by sowing I mean making all the right investments. Not just money wise, but investing in your self development, investing in building your career, investing in your professional profile and who you want to be known as and known for. You work to learn, not to earn. Don’t be in too much of a rush to make it before such and such, seek first your self worth and all things will surely follow

                        young

                          14. Wisdom is God given

                          They say people come in to your life for a reason, season or lifetime. Be careful to not put lifetime expectations on seasonal people. With age comes wisdom and the ability to be a good judge of circumstance and character. As with jobs, if you get an opportunity to do something out of your comfort zone, take it. No amount of education or experience can prepare you for the unexpected in life. Sometimes, despite your utmost and your dedication, things will not go your way. Do not be discouraged, having wisdom to know when to let go and when to keep pushing is a skill worth mastering and you can spend your entire life doing so.

                          15. Life is too short for sugar free dessert

                          acceptance

                            16. Life is too short to live in regret

                            If you made mistakes, learn from it and become wiser. No use regretting. Move on. The past is long gone

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                            17. Take calculated risks

                            if you take a risk two things are likely to happen, 1) you win or  2) you become wiser. So take more risks.

                            kick ass

                              18. Find your talent and become the best at it

                              talent

                                19. A happy home, a happy husband and happy kids is a definite #life-goal

                                Will-Smith-Family

                                  20. A good woman is always a good woman

                                  good woman

                                    Looks fade, body shape changes after kids, you get older and interest changes. But a good and virtuous woman is and will always be one. So work on you and be everything that you can be.

                                    Dream big, think big and be fierce!

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                                    The Perfect Outfit

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                                      Last Updated on July 20, 2021

                                      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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                                      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                      You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

                                      Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

                                      Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

                                      Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

                                      1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

                                      According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

                                      “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

                                      Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

                                      Warming up

                                      If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

                                      If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

                                      Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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                                      1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
                                      2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
                                      3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

                                      Stay hydrated

                                      Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

                                      To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

                                      Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

                                      Meditate

                                      Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

                                      Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

                                      Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

                                      Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

                                      2. Focus on your goal

                                      One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

                                      Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

                                      Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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                                      Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

                                      If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

                                      3. Convert negativity to positivity

                                      There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

                                      ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

                                      It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

                                      Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

                                      Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

                                      Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

                                      4. Understand your content

                                      Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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                                      However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

                                      “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

                                      Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

                                      Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

                                      One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

                                      5. Practice makes perfect

                                      Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

                                      In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

                                      Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

                                      6. Be authentic

                                      There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

                                      Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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                                      Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

                                      To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

                                      With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

                                      Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

                                      7. Post speech evaluation

                                      Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

                                      Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

                                      We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

                                      You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

                                      Improve your next speech

                                      As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

                                      Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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                                      • How did I do?
                                      • Are there any areas for improvement?
                                      • Did I sound or look stressed?
                                      • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
                                      • Was I saying “um” too often?
                                      • How was the flow of the speech?

                                      Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

                                      If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

                                      Reference

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