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15 Phrases That Remind You What Life Is For

15 Phrases That Remind You What Life Is For

Life is all about perspective. Your perspective. Life is all about how you frame your experiences and how you choose to physically and emotionally respond to them. Your perspective can make all the difference in your ability to live in the moment with joy, or view each of life’s challenges as a struggle.

This article is inspired by a thought provoking article written by Stephanie Kwong. She encourages us to flip the switch from viewing life’s commitments as “should” and “have to,” into “I get to” instead. Wow! The “I get to” mantra is so much more of a fulfilling and fun privilege.

Phrases like “I get to” keep us mindful of living and loving life. So why stop at just one?

Here are 15 other wonderfully powerful phrases which can inspire you to be present in the moment, to live in alignment with your own life choices, to enjoy life, and keep living it with passion:

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1. The purpose of my life is to be happy.

This is the most important phrase of all. Repeat it to yourself several times a day. The basic reason you are here on Earth is to discover your own inner happiness. When you are happy, that joy and energy you exude will take you to places and experiences you have always dreamed of and more! This is your Big Picture soulful purpose.

2. I’ve got this!

Ahhh, this is all about self empowerment as you move through life. It reminds you to be confident, roll with the punches, and to believe in yourself.

3. I will just “let it go.”

There will be plenty of ups and downs in life. The downs will definitely hold you down. Let it go — the disappointments, the mistakes, the feelings of remorse, regret, guilt, and all those other negative emotions which won’t propel you forward to enjoy the best life has to offer.

4. An Oldie, but a Goodie… I know things could be worse.

When things get tough, put your own situation into perspective. Turn your situation upside down and realize how much worse it could have been. Be thankful for the way it turned out. Practice grateful gratitude!

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5. The only thing holding me back is ME !

Yep, you are in the driver’s seat. With determination, perseverance, effort, attention, and intention you can do anything. Don’t expect a windfall of any sort. You orchestrate every single moment of your life by the way you perceive circumstances and how you choose to respond.

6. Life is not so short to me.

In the United States, the average lifespan for an adult male is 75 years, and 81 years for a female. That’s pretty darn long!  So why does everyone say life is fleeting? Answer: because most people are not living life in the moment. When you are constantly looking behind you or worrying about tomorrow, it seems as if life is passing you by. However, time is actually not moving any faster. When you begin to enjoy each day, each hour, and each minute, the years do not become a blur.

7. My struggles exist to indicate I need to shift.

We all do it from time to time. You have. I have. We all get lost in the struggle — the struggle for more money, more power, more time. We also struggle to have our way be the right way. This inner struggle defeats you and your momentum. It’s a startling reminder that you need to make a needed change in your life (sometimes on many levels). Living without struggle allows for greater freedom. Living freely is the goal of life for us all.

8. There is no wrong turn on my life journey.

Your life path is unique from that of your parents, siblings, children, or friends. It’s creatively designed by a higher force so that you (hopefully) get to learn along the way and uncover your true sense of happiness — your essence! So when you make a choice that didn’t get you where you thought you would land, don’t beat yourself up. That turn you made was one you were supposed to take in order to teach you something you needed to know in order to grow.

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9. All my tears soothe my soul.

Ahhh… tears… your body’s own saltwater! Saltwater heals wounds. Tears not only heal wounds, but they are also the outcome of deep emotions which need to be released — emotions of sadness, despair, frustration, laughter, joy, and bliss. Whether your tears are sorrowful at the loss of someone’s life, or blissful at the birth of your child, or the consequence of a serious belly laugh, they are all meant to soothe your soul. It’s okay to cry.

10. Life is all about my choices.

The life you live is the life you choose. Choices build upon each other. Every single choice you make has implications which will steer you in one direction or another. If a poor choice is made along the way, don’t worry so much. Life is forgiving if you want it to be.

11. I say “Yes” more often.

Growing up, you probably heard more “no’s” from parents, teachers, and caregivers than “yes’s.” So give yourself permission to say “yes” more often, especially to opportunities which will nourish your spirit. Say “yes” to that spontaneous bike ride with your kids. Say “yes” to that massage you so desperately need. Say “yes” to the homeless man begging for that $4 you were going to spend at Starbucks tomorrow morning. A heartfelt “yes” may open your soul to limitless possibilities.

12. I embrace uncertainty.

Most people like certainty. They like a sure thing. Not knowing what’s in store for you can be pretty daunting and scary. That is, if you choose that perspective. The reality is, there will always be uncertainty and randomness. It’s a law of life (and physics). You can’t escape it, so just embrace it. Welcome the change. Welcome the unknown into your life. Get comfy with it so that when things don’t go as planned, you can just go with the flow. Think of how beautiful is it to struggle less.

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13. I put passion behind my purpose.

You are a unique soul in this world and have very special gifts that no one else has. Honing in our your gifts (talents, skills, qualities) will help you identify your life purpose. When you realize why you are here on Earth and what you can contribute, it is essential to put all of your passion behind it. Whether you are an astronaut, sanitary worker, super dad, or the best Lego builder ever, your passion for what you do will drive you toward life happiness.

14. When I’m not learning, I’m not growing.

This is one of my favorite phrases. Your life purpose is to grow, to learn, and to evolve in order to click into your own essence and be happy. The only way to grow is to continue to learn and expand your mind and spirit. I get happy just thinking about how much more I get to learn in my life. Wow!

15. I love you.

The desire to be loved is a human need. To give love to another human or animal is something we hopefully learn how to do along our life path. Love is an extremely powerful energy force. Those three little words (“I love you”) can tear down walls of hatred, halt an attempted suicide, or unite a lifelong partnership. If you haven’t spoken them in awhile, it’s time to begin again. Whispers are allowed. A life filled with love is a life worth living.

Conclusion

These 15 phrases are a little nudge to remind you just how lucky you are to be alive. You have infinite possibilities awaiting you. Live life passionately!

Featured photo credit: www.globesurfer.de via flickr.com

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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