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Opposites Attracts: Couples with Different Characters Work Well

Opposites Attracts: Couples with Different Characters Work Well

There’s always been wonder toward why opposites attract. Yet, we’re told that relationships are stronger and generally easier when you share a lot in common. But is that the truth?

Ongoing research on both sides of the argument definitely beg the question: though opposites attract, can they be happy with each other and sustain a relationship? Here are a few truths that will prove that you and your lover can be completely unlike and entirely in love.

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You expand each other’s horizons.

Most of us are stubborn by nature. When you have a strong belief or opinion about something, it’s really hard to change. If you truly love the other person though, you will put your pride aside and listen to their opinion no matter how strongly you disagree. Choosing to love someone who has different opinions encourages you to see the world a little bit differently. Respecting and openly listening to your partner’s worldview and opinions will build a foundation of mutual respect, which is key to a happy relationship.

You’ll learn to walk a mile in each other’s shoes.

There’s no better way to practice this age-old saying than spending time with someone who’s much different than you. In regards to relationships, this will expose you to a different thinking process and a new way of doing things. When you know you and your partner have these differences, over time you’ll establish a higher range of patience for both your lover and other people in your life.

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They will encourage you to be your best self.

If you have too many things in common you may begin to worry or stress when your partner acts out of character to those similarities. This, sadly, invites partners to try and control one another because they aren’t meeting expectations. When you have more differences than similarities, you’re encouraged to do the opposite because you’re already expecting them to act differently than you. The resulting acceptance will allow your lover to be an unfiltered, honest version of themselves.

You’ll learn and adapt practices you always wish you had.

The largest fallacy of mankind is feeling like what we have is permanent. No one stays the same over time, in relationships or otherwise. When you’re in a relationship, chances are high that your partner possesses a trait or characteristic that you wish you had. Perhaps your lover’s opposite habit is something you want to learn and practice. There’s no better way to implement new practices than by mimicking someone you love. They will often have more patience with you than you’ll have with yourself.

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You’ll learn to embrace spontaneity.

Boredom is bred from knowing what to expect. Expecting a certain result happens more frequently when you’re dating a carbon copy of yourself. On the flip side, when you’re dating your “antonym”, if you will, you learn to expect the unexpected, or leave expectations out entirely. Arguments and bickering occur when expectations aren’t met in relationships. Having no expectations, or expecting the unexpected, will add unpredictability to your life and extra spice to your relationship.

You build higher tolerance for your lover and for others.

To echo the previous point, expectations can easily lead to frustration. Dating someone who’s very different from is a never ending test of patience. This patience won’t always be easy, particularly early in the relationship and in times involving ultra-sensitive topics. But tolerance and patience build quickly when you spend a large amount of time around someone who’s different. You learn to understand and adore their differences, resulting in higher tolerance, compassion, and love in and out of your relationship.

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You will be complements to one another.

Really, you shouldn’t need another person to feel complete. You, and you alone, are all you need to feel fulfillment. But the saying “(s)he completes me” is the most true for those who share multiple differences. She’s eccentric and he’s a homebody. He’s not the best driver and she’s never been in an accident. He’s emotionally intelligent and he is terrible at reading people. She’s a fantastic cook and she burns water making ramen. The list of opposites and complements are endless.

We may not know exactly why opposites attract, but there’s no denying that opposites who date each other can have extremely fulfilling relationships. Because a successful relationship isn’t about dating the same character, but learning to love what makes you different.

Featured photo credit: young modern stylish couple urban city outdoors via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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