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Opposites Attracts: Couples with Different Characters Work Well

Opposites Attracts: Couples with Different Characters Work Well

There’s always been wonder toward why opposites attract. Yet, we’re told that relationships are stronger and generally easier when you share a lot in common. But is that the truth?

Ongoing research on both sides of the argument definitely beg the question: though opposites attract, can they be happy with each other and sustain a relationship? Here are a few truths that will prove that you and your lover can be completely unlike and entirely in love.

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You expand each other’s horizons.

Most of us are stubborn by nature. When you have a strong belief or opinion about something, it’s really hard to change. If you truly love the other person though, you will put your pride aside and listen to their opinion no matter how strongly you disagree. Choosing to love someone who has different opinions encourages you to see the world a little bit differently. Respecting and openly listening to your partner’s worldview and opinions will build a foundation of mutual respect, which is key to a happy relationship.

You’ll learn to walk a mile in each other’s shoes.

There’s no better way to practice this age-old saying than spending time with someone who’s much different than you. In regards to relationships, this will expose you to a different thinking process and a new way of doing things. When you know you and your partner have these differences, over time you’ll establish a higher range of patience for both your lover and other people in your life.

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They will encourage you to be your best self.

If you have too many things in common you may begin to worry or stress when your partner acts out of character to those similarities. This, sadly, invites partners to try and control one another because they aren’t meeting expectations. When you have more differences than similarities, you’re encouraged to do the opposite because you’re already expecting them to act differently than you. The resulting acceptance will allow your lover to be an unfiltered, honest version of themselves.

You’ll learn and adapt practices you always wish you had.

The largest fallacy of mankind is feeling like what we have is permanent. No one stays the same over time, in relationships or otherwise. When you’re in a relationship, chances are high that your partner possesses a trait or characteristic that you wish you had. Perhaps your lover’s opposite habit is something you want to learn and practice. There’s no better way to implement new practices than by mimicking someone you love. They will often have more patience with you than you’ll have with yourself.

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You’ll learn to embrace spontaneity.

Boredom is bred from knowing what to expect. Expecting a certain result happens more frequently when you’re dating a carbon copy of yourself. On the flip side, when you’re dating your “antonym”, if you will, you learn to expect the unexpected, or leave expectations out entirely. Arguments and bickering occur when expectations aren’t met in relationships. Having no expectations, or expecting the unexpected, will add unpredictability to your life and extra spice to your relationship.

You build higher tolerance for your lover and for others.

To echo the previous point, expectations can easily lead to frustration. Dating someone who’s very different from is a never ending test of patience. This patience won’t always be easy, particularly early in the relationship and in times involving ultra-sensitive topics. But tolerance and patience build quickly when you spend a large amount of time around someone who’s different. You learn to understand and adore their differences, resulting in higher tolerance, compassion, and love in and out of your relationship.

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You will be complements to one another.

Really, you shouldn’t need another person to feel complete. You, and you alone, are all you need to feel fulfillment. But the saying “(s)he completes me” is the most true for those who share multiple differences. She’s eccentric and he’s a homebody. He’s not the best driver and she’s never been in an accident. He’s emotionally intelligent and he is terrible at reading people. She’s a fantastic cook and she burns water making ramen. The list of opposites and complements are endless.

We may not know exactly why opposites attract, but there’s no denying that opposites who date each other can have extremely fulfilling relationships. Because a successful relationship isn’t about dating the same character, but learning to love what makes you different.

Featured photo credit: young modern stylish couple urban city outdoors via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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