Advertising
Advertising

34 Weeks Pregnant Concerns: All About The C-Section

34 Weeks Pregnant Concerns: All About The C-Section

You are now midway through your last trimester of your pregnancy. You will be experiencing some life-changing moments from here on. You have to be prepared, both physically and psychologically, for the outcomes that will follow from 34 weeks till the delivery. What will happen after the delivery is another thing for another article. But first, in brief, let me focus on your progress at 34 weeks of pregnancy.

Life at 34 Weeks Pregnant

A 34 weeks, pregnant woman will undergo exhaustion very easily. This is absolutely normal. You will want to pee frequently, and turning over while sleeping will be quite difficult. Again, all normal. The reason behind all this discomfort is that your baby now weighs around 4 and 3/4 pounds and is almost 18 inches long. They have fat layers all over their body — this will keep their body temperature in check once they’re born. Their lungs and nervous system are maturing, and their skin is smoother than before. In any case, if you do go into pre-term labor, do not get scared. Generally, if your baby is healthy and is born between 34 to 38 weeks, things will be just fine.

Advertising

Whether you go into pre-term or full-time labor is unpredictable. It entirely depends on your health and how soon your water breaks. Whatever the circumstance is, always be prepared. Preparation not only means packing your bags, it also means that you have to be mentally ready to undergo any sort of labor. Don’t be scared. Even though normal deliveries are the most common and the most preferred, a C-section is not an uncommon delivery. This delivery happens to about 30 per cent of women across the United States. One of the main reasons for doing it? To avoid unnecessary complications.

What is a C-Section?

A Caesarean Section, or more commonly known as C-Section, is a surgery through which the baby is born. An incision is made in the mother’s abdominal wall, as well as on the wall of the uterus. A C-Section can be either pre-planned or unplanned. This surgical procedure usually happens before the water breaks. A C-Section occurs if the mother has complications, or if she has had previous C-Section. A C-Section is not harmful or daunting. Sometimes, it is the safest way to deliver your baby.

Advertising

Why might you need a planned C-section?

There are many reasons why you should leave your midwife and visit an obstetrician. If you have any complications detected beforehand, your doctor will inform you about them. Some of the most common reasons for having a C-section are:

  • You have had a previous C-Section. Usually, during this type of case, the incision is vertical, rather than the normal horizontal one.
  • You may not be physically fit to go for a vaginal birth. This might be due to high blood pressure, high gestational diabetes, heart problem, or any sorts of infections that could pass on to your baby through normal delivery, such as genital herpes or HIV.
  • You have placenta previa, meaning your placenta is extremely low in the uterus, almost covering your cervix. In this case, the C-section is the safest option for you and your baby.
  • You are carrying two or more babies. Many times, if the mother’s overall condition is favorable and she is carrying twins, the doctor will prefer the vaginal delivery. Other times, the surgical procedure is performed. If the mother is carrying more than two, then a C-Section is definite.
  • Multiple babies means different positions of the babies in the womb. There are times when babies are in abnormal positions. This can happen to a single baby as well. Sometimes, the infant’s feet or buttocks enter the birth passage first, instead of the head. This position is called “breech.” Or at times, the baby lies sideways. This is called “transverse.”
  • Your baby is larger than usual. In a case like this, vaginal birth becomes impossible. Safest way to deliver is the surgery.
  • Another factor for doing C-Section is that your child is not getting enough oxygen inside you. Lack of oxygen and lack of movement for the baby are both concerns. Again, in this case, a C-Section would be the best option.

Reasons for an unplanned operation

Unplanned C-Sections usually are done in case of an emergency. This will include:

Advertising

  • Your contractions are not strong enough to continue the vaginal delivery.
  • Your baby is having difficulty cooperating in the birth process.
  • Your umbilical cord has fallen and has blocked the passage.
  • There’s been a sudden health deterioration. For example, high blood pressure may affect you and your child during labor.

The procedure: before & during the surgery

Before surgery, you will be asked to get your blood tested to see the level of haemoglobin. The result will determine whether you will need a transfusion during the surgery. Your obstetrician will also check if you are allergic to any sorts of medicines, especially the epidural. Your clothes will be changed and pubic hair cleaned. The nurse will start an IV and insert a catheter to void out your urine during the surgery. Once you are ready, you will be given an epidural or spinal block. This will numb the lower part of your body only. To prevent you and your partner from seeing the procedure, a screen will be put up before you.

The next steps are fairly straightforward. The doctor will cut your abdomen, layer after layer, cut your uterus, take your baby out, show you a glimpse of your newborn, and hand it over to the pediatrician. While your newborn is being examined, your obstetrician will stitch you up. Once you are ready and your surgery is complete, you’ll be taken to the recovery room, where the on-duty doctor will inspect you for few hours before releasing you to your room. Your baby will stay beside you, no matter where you go. Usually, you will stay in the hospital for up to 3 days after your C-Section delivery.

Advertising

The procedure: after the surgery

After the surgery, things are quite straightforward. You’ll be put on antibiotics for at least a week. You will attempt to breastfeed your baby from day 1 (if you choose to do so). During your stay at the hospital, your panel of doctors will check up on the stitches, your intake of fluid, your urination, your bowel movements, and how you’re doing in general. It is highly important to drink a maximum of 4 liters of fluid per day. You’ll be allowed to walk from day 2. By day 4 to 5, at home, you will notice the pain has subsided. Once you are home, you should take plenty of rest. No bending, no picking up heavy objects, no hefty jobs.

A C-Section is always an option that can be chosen if you want to avoid a vaginal birth. It is, of course, thoroughly recommended to go for a vaginal delivery, but then again, every situation will depend entirely on you and your baby. This is just to remind you that you should start thinking and mentally preparing yourself for all the alternatives.

Being 34 weeks pregnant, you and your partner are now planning out your future. My personal advise? Just enjoy, even if you don’t feel like it. I am a mum of two, so I know what you will go through. At 34 weeks, just try to stay calm, meditate, be positive, and relish in the moment!

More by this author

15 Best Autobiographies Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Lives 20 Medical Benefits of Marijuana You Probably Never Knew Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses Quotes From Socrates That Are Full Of Wisdom 10 Little Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

Trending in Parenting

1 Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child? 2 How to Raise a Boy Right (Backed by Psychology) 3 How to Help Your Child with Behavior Problems 4 14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All 5 How to Be a Good Parent and Raise Successful Kids

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on December 20, 2019

Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

Kate sits down to the dinner table and is eager to be a good girl and eat her dinner like her Mom and Dad want her to do. She is a sweet girl who wants the approval of her parents very much. It is not always easy though. During dinner, she stands up and starts to leave the table because she has to use the bathroom. Her Dad yells at her to sit back down. He tells her “we don’t just get up from the dinner table, we wait and ask to be excused after everyone is finished eating.” She begins to protest, wanting to explain that she needs to use the bathroom. Her father becomes more upset with her and yells at her that she is now talking back and she is not allowed to say another word at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating and then she can be excused.

Unfortunately for Kate, she can’t hold it, and she has a little accident because she is too fearful to say a word to her Dad. She doesn’t want to get yelled at anymore. She also knows that in her home, kids don’t have a say. What Mom and Dad say is like words carved into stone. They are strict beyond reason and they will not bend their rules. Therefore, Kate felt that she had no choice in the matter and when she could no longer hold it. There was nothing she could do about it.

Kate’s parents are an example of authoritarian parenting. They are strict, they are not emotionally engaged with their children, and they have very high expectations for their children. This type of parenting style leaves children feeling disconnected from their parents.

Kate wanted to communicate to her parents that she had to use the restroom, but she couldn’t even get her words out because her parents have such strict rules and demands of her. They did not care to hear what she had to say, because upholding their rules was more important to them. In their household, a child’s opinions and feelings do not matter.

This kind of strict parenting is not helpful for children. It can damage a child and leave them with low self-esteem, mental health issues, and doing poor academically among other problems cited by research in Parenting Science.[1]

What Does Authoritarian Parenting Look Like?

In the 1960’s, a researcher and theorist by the name of Baumrind established the well known theory of parenting styles. Those four parenting styles, which are well known today, are authoritarian, authoritative, passive, and neglectful. For proactive parents that are trying hard to be good parents, they will usually lean toward either authoritarian or authoritative.

Authoritarian parenting involves strict parenting and high expectations for children. This can sound reasonable and even like good parenting. However, the strict parenting is often characterized by lack of compassion toward the child, little to no flexibility in rules, and complete control sought over the child’s behavior.

Advertising

Parents who use this parenting style believe it is their job to control the will and behavior of their children. An article in Psychology Today explains how authoritarian parents operate:[2]

Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent. They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Authoritarian parents see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority—the parent, the church, the teacher. Willfulness is seen to be the root of unhappiness, bad behavior, and sin. Thus, a loving parent is one who tries to break the will of the child.

For example, Jake has authoritarian parents. He wants to stay out past curfew on a school night because he has an opportunity to play in a jazz ensemble. He has been playing the saxophone for years and his ambition is to play in a college jazz ensemble.

With Jake still being in high school, his parents have a curfew. On school nights, it is 8:00 pm. This rule is instituted because his parents believe they need to ensure that Jake gets his school work done each night and that he needs to be well rested for school the next day. However, they don’t explain the why of their rules to him, they simply tell him that those are their rules. The jazz ensemble is practicing at 8:00 pm on a Thursday night and they have invited Jake to come play with them. It is a well known group and a huge opportunity for Jake.

Unfortunately, his parents say no. Their authoritarian parenting style is unwavering. He wants to discuss the opportunity and its importance, but his parents will not even entertain the conversation. They stop him mid-sentence and go over their rules again. There is no flexibility.

If Jake’s parents had been authoritative, they would have taken the time to hear out his case and would likely have granted him a later curfew for that one instance. They would see that, although they have a curfew, there are some instances when an opportunity is worth bending the rules. They would ask that he has his homework done before going to play with the group, and that he come home as soon as the practice was finished.

Authoritative parents have rules, but they are also flexible based on reasonable requests for exceptions. The authoritative parents are interested in how their children are thinking and feeling. Conversely, authoritarian parents are not likely to be interested in hearing their child’s thoughts and feelings, because they want to control the will of their child, not come to some middle ground.

Advertising

Here are some characteristics of authoritarian parenting:

  • They have strict rules that are unyielding and unwavering. This is often called “heavy handed parenting.”
  • They do not want input from the child about rules. They also feel that the child’s opinion does not matter, because they are the parent thus are the supreme authority over the child.
  • There are severe punishments when rules are broken.
  • There is an emotional disconnection between parent and child, because the parent is not interested in what the child thinks or feels. They are more interested in controlling the behavior of the child and having the child be compliant to their rules.
  • Children are expected to listen to their parents and follow the rules, there are no exceptions. A child that voices their objections will likely be punished for doing so.
  • The parents have high expectations, especially when it comes to compliance of their rules.
  • Parents expect that their child will be obedient and they do not need to explain the “why” of their rules and expectations. Compliance is expected out of sheer obedience, not because the child understands the reasons why the rules are set. Parents do not feel the need to explain why they set their rules.
  • There is a failure to have attached relationships between parent and child because of the overly dominant nature of authoritarian parents and their unwillingness to allow their children to have their own voice or free will.

Authoritarian parents are driven by a belief that they need to control their children. This means controlling their children’s behavior to an extreme. They are inflexible and don’t take into account the child’s desires, emotions, or well-being as being as important to enforcing rules to get the desired outcome. Authoritative parents on the other hand, seek to guide and direct their children instead of control. There is a distinction.

The Problems of Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting has many negative consequences to children. Children who are raised in homes with extreme authoritarian parenting are more likely to become dependent on drugs and alcohol, have lower academic performance, and increased mental health issues according to Parenting for Brain.[3] Children who are raised with authoritarian parents are also more likely to have lower self esteem, inability to make decisive choices, and have social skills that are lacking.

When a child is raised to be taught day in and day out that their voice does not matter, then that child will likely be ingrained with that belief. They will not value their own opinions because they have been taught that what they think does not matter and is of no value. This leads to poor self-esteem and low self-worth.

If a child doesn’t believe that their thoughts matter, then what they think about themselves overall is going to be affected. They will not think highly of themselves or believe that what they think, say, or do is of value. This will contribute to low self-esteem long term.

Social skills will suffer because a child who comes from an authoritarian home will be trained to believe that nobody wants to hear their opinion and that relationships are based on compliance.

For example, Judy is raised in an authoritarian home. She is now 18 years old and has her first boyfriend. Anytime that he asks something of her, even if she internally disagrees, she feels that she is supposed to comply and do what he says in order for him to like her and continue wanting to be with her.

Advertising

He wants to have sex. She does not feel that she is ready, but she will not voice this to her boyfriend because she doesn’t think that her opinion will matter or that he will want to listen to what she is feeling. She goes along with sex in their relationship to be compliant. She doesn’t want to be punished by disagreeing with not having sex. He says that they are ready for that next step in the relationship and she fears that the consequence of saying no would be that he ends the relationship.

Therefore, she doesn’t even voice her thoughts or feelings on the situation because she doesn’t think they have value or will be heard anyway.

She has been taught by her parents that her opinions and feelings don’t matter. She has learned from the past 18 years with her parents that what matters most is that she is compliant. She gets along with her parents best when she is doing exactly what they want her to do. This is why she feels the need to do the same with her boyfriend.

Going along with his decisions, being compliant, and not voicing her feelings will keep the relationship going and avoid conflict or punishment. The ultimate punishment in her mind would be that he ends the relationship.

With her opinions never being valued by those who she has loved the most (her parents), she has learned that she should not voice her opinion if she wants to keep the other person in the relationship happy. In her mind, because of how she has been raised, compliance overrides all else, and her opinion is meaningless.

However, her boyfriend is not her parents. He is understanding and would want to know how she feels. He wants a long term relationship with her and he loves her so much. His true desire is for her to be happy. He would never want her to have sex if she wasn’t feeling the same way that he was feeling. He would gladly wait and would want to hear what she thinks and feels about taking their relationship to the next level.

Authoritarian parenting methods can inflict great harm on a child. The child becomes emotionally damaged because they grow up believing that their opinions, thoughts, and feelings do not matter. Instead they are taught that compliance and being obedient supersedes all else.

Advertising

The Solution

The solution is to move from authoritarian parenting methods to authoritative parenting practices.

Authoritative parenting has been deemed as the best parenting method by researchers, according to Psychology Today. Parents who use authoritative parenting methods have rules for their children, but they are not looking for blind compliance. They recognize that having a relationship with their child is of great importance and therefore valuing the child’s voice, opinions, and thoughts is important.

Authoritative parents seek to guide and direct their children, but they do not seek to control the will of their child.

Parenting Coach Plan explains the foundation of authoritative parenting as the following:[4]

Authoritative parenting can be described as a style of parenting that combines firm limits and clear boundaries with fair and consistent discipline. Authoritative parents are also nurturing, highly-involved, and willing to speak openly with their child regarding expectations and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations. Rules are enforced and fair consequences are put in place for when those rules are broken.

Children raised in authoritative homes follow the rules because they understand the “why” of the rules. They are also bonded to their parents because they are able to talk to their parents openly. This bond helps nurture a positive home environment and a two-way relationship that can last a lifetime.

To learn more about how to be an authoritative parent and how to discipline a child using this parenting method, check out my article:

How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next