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15 Things We Forget to Thank Our Sisters For

15 Things We Forget to Thank Our Sisters For

I’m the baby sister. This invariably sucked when we were kids;however, now that we’re grown, I always have the benefit of saying, “I’m the younger sister.” Our age gap made it difficult at times to be the kind of best friends who do everything together.

Five years is a pretty big difference in kid-years. While she was romping around the high school party scene, I was still practicing my multiplication tables. She liked boys; I liked. . . ponies. Nevertheless, even with the age gap, we managed to create an amazing bond that only sisters share. She was there for me first and she’s here for me now. One thing I have yet to do is to thank her for all the things she’s done for me, some of them probably unnoticed. So, older sister, these are for you!

1. Thank you for being my first “bestie.”

It’s true! I had no friends. I was a nobody until you showed up. You accepted me even when I couldn’t walk, talk or use the bathroom. You played with me, protected me and took great care of me. You also tortured me, made fun of me and ignored me, but that’s a whole different topic.

2. Thank you for never judging me.

Even when I’m acting like an idiot. Or dressing like one. (Like when I bleached my hair white and pierced my nose and looked like Madonna.)

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3. Thank you for letting me get all dramatic without causing any drama.

In my defense, I was the baby of the family. You took my tantrums and issues and let them run their course without too much hassle or emotions.

4. Thank you for letting us sleep in your room every Christmas Eve.

Because your little pink Christmas Tree with its little colored lights was so pretty. I was always jealous you got the pink one. And sleeping in your room every year was so cool because we got to stay up late and talk about Santa. (P.S. I , have the pink tree now. Every year, we put it in the bedroom where my son and daughter sleep, talking and waiting for Santa.)

5. Thank you for liking me before I was cool.

I am cool, by the way. You liked me back then, when I wasn’t AS cool as I am today. (Circa 1980-anything).

6. Thank you for making family vacations memorable.

Because without you and our brother, they would have been so boring. Who else would offer so many memories-now-turned-inside jokes? Who else would make me jump off a frickin’ ski lift? Only a sister (who breaks her leg skiing right below me, of course). But the rest of that Idaho trip was amazing.

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7. Thank you for always having my back.

Even when you knew I was totally wrong. Or, worse, I was lying. Like the time I snuck out to go to Berkeley to hang out with college boys.

8. Thank you for making the “big” mistakes before me so I could learn what not to do.

I learned everything from you and our brother. Being the baby wasn’t so bad once I learned the tricks of the trade. Whenever you got busted, I took notes. Once I figured out what not to do…

Just joking, Mom.

9. Thank you for teaching me about “grown-up” things.

Besides books like Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret, you helped me out with things like periods, boys, and (cringe) sex. Although, you taking me to Tijuana for the first time wasn’t so helpful. I’m not thankful you introduced me to Tequila!

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10.  Thank you for providing that fake I.D.

Since you were five years older, your I.D. came in handy. Genetics helped, too, because we looked so much alike. Now that I’m older, I appreciate the fact that you had to make an extra trip to the DMV to get an extra copy of your license. That alone deserves an award.

Just joking, Mom. I only used it to vote.

11.  Thank you for driving me places when you didn’t want to.

I know you didn’t want to, and I know it was a pain, but I appreciate all the rides. Especially the ones that came with one of your cute college boyfriends (friends that were boys) in tow. That was always a bonus.

12. Thank you for the family bitch sessions.

No one knows the family like you do, which makes it easy to sit around and complain. You understand completely. In fact, you think the way I do, so if I’m ragging on other people, chances are you’ll agree with me on those points as well.

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13. Thank you for always being there for me, no matter what happens.

For everything we’ve been through, the ups and downs, deaths and births, you’ve been there for me. I know you’re just a phone call away and no matter what I do or say, you’ll still be there.

14. Thank you for always being my cheerleader.

You’re always in my corner. You never criticize or analyze me when I’m having an off day or when I fail at something and you’re never jealous of my success. You’re a great life cheerleader.

15. Finally, thank you for making me a sister. (A younger sister.)

Featured photo credit: Lovely brother and sister lying in bed at home. Concept of Brother And Sister Together Forever via shutterstock.com

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Missy Mitchell

Author, Artist, Advocate

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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