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10 Things You Shouldn’t Hide Anymore, No Matter How Others View You

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10 Things You Shouldn’t Hide Anymore, No Matter How Others View You

I know that when I was growing up, I was small, skinny and wasn’t good in sports. I hid a lot. I didn’t want my peers to know my home because they would assume my parents weren’t so wealthy. I missed out on some fun parts because I was hiding. But guess it did not matter much. It only diminished my presence rather than make me blossom. This I have learned all these years, there is really no reason to hide what gifts I have and who I really am.

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” – Charles Bukowski

1. You shouldn’t hide your intellectuality

You are knowledgeable. You are strong mentally and you see the world from a holistic angle. You are not one sided. You are not in a loss on what to say to your environment. Yet you hide it. Yet you are afraid that once you say something people will pose a defensive threat.

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2. You shouldn’t hide your awareness

You are well traveled and have been to several places. You are a reservoir of experience and what exciting thoughts you could share. Let other people know that you have some social substance and that you can see beyond their facade. Let them gain from your experience and your awareness.

3. You shouldn’t hide your intensity

There is passion and energy in you. And yes this can be intimidating to those who do not have it. you should flaunt it and get out of the way to prove that what changes everything isn’t simply sitting down and folding arms.

4. You shouldn’t hide your beauty

Yes you are sexy, but you hide that figure in long overalls. Yes you have the right curves, but you prefer to cover them in inappropriate clothes. You got the lovely eyes, yet you hide them in sunglasses. There is no point in hiding such things as your looks. Flaunt it and use it as a weapon for success.

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5. You shouldn’t hide your good nature

You are kind and you have a caring personality. You warm up to others and you really wish the world was a better place. But you hide your good-nature spirit because you are afraid the world will take advantage of who you are.

6. You shouldn’t hide your scars

“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Whether emotional or physical scars, having those scars shows that you have passed through a funnel of becoming. You are not who you were and somehow these experiences have made you tough. Let the world see your scars and listen to your story, who knows what value you would have rendered?

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7. You shouldn’t hide your humor

People have lost their sense of humor because they feel the world around them wants them to be so serious. Laughter and humor is good for the soul. Why don’t you share your brightness and offer it to the world.

8. You shouldn’t hide your authenticity

You are real. But certain people love lies and think that the fake ones are a great sell. But you do not need to be like one of those. Be who you are. Be real and genuine to yourself and to those who surround you. Such truthfulness would add greater character to who you are.

9. You shouldn’t hide your beliefs

It is easy to be intimidated by those who don’t share your thoughts, opinions or beliefs on certain subjects. Because you want to gain acceptance by these ones, you suddenly get a cold feet and hide your beliefs. You stick to other people’s opinion because you do not know what they will say when they listen to what you have to say. Well it is either they respect you or they are not deserving of being around you. Air your beliefs and never hide what opinion you have on a topic.

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10. You shouldn’t hide your skills

Whatever talents or skills the Creator has blessed you with please use it as a contribution to the development of our world. People with great skills are rare, but the world needs them. The world needs you too.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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