Advertising
Advertising

If You Have These 10 So-called Bad Qualities, Congratulations! You’re Better Than You Think

If You Have These 10 So-called Bad Qualities, Congratulations! You’re Better Than You Think

It is hard to know what is good or bad these days when it comes to what qualities you possess. What strong quality applies to you may be what will drag you to become successful. And whatever the world has to think or say about those qualities shouldn’t bother you. Actually, these so called bad qualities are what bring out the shine in you. Rather than be worried about the negative implications of these qualities, you should consider the amazing potentials it has for you. Here are so called bad qualities that could offer you a defining edge in life.

1. You want to have an answer for everything

Many may consider you to be nosy, pushy or a busy body. But in many cases being curious doesn’t always kill the cat, but makes it more astute and more sly. You have to know a lot and reach for knowledge. You can’t really become a better person when you are sticking to what you are. Focus on what you can be and ask the right questions.

Advertising

2. You love taking risks

You like adventures. And you won’t just be settled in the safe zone. People will ask you why you are always chasing after the thrill and going above the bar. Why don’t you simply settle in the safe zone and be like everyone else. But how will you discover new things when you are always playing it safe? Discovering yourself and the world around you requires some attempt at new things and taking risks.

3. You are not okay with good enough

Yes others feel you are successful already and they would want to be like you. But you know that good is not enough. You want to strive to become better and reach higher heights. You know that what stays or is content slowly simmers away.

Advertising

4. You are not static

People like to predict what others can do. They want to be able to conclude that Jack is indecisive or difficult. But what if they are not able to predict what you can do or who you are? Many people are really awed or intimidated by mystery. But for you being unpredictable is cool and this serves your long term purpose.

5. You are proud

Pride is different from arrogance. You have some ego and try to keep your self-esteem in check. You don’t compromise easily. You will only bulge for the right reasons. But you understand what your worth is and you wouldn’t trade it for trash.

Advertising

6. You grieve easily

You are emotional. You don’t want to be hurt and do not want to hurt others. Many consider you to be feeble and weak. But you are not. You can empathize with other people and can connect with their pain or tribulations. This makes you someone that attracts rather than repulses.

7. You are lazy

People think that it takes hard work to be successful, but rather this is not always true. There are many hard workers out there working their knuckles with nothing to show for it. Rather than think energy, think strategy.

Advertising

8. You are pessimistic

You don’t see everything from a positive light. The world wants to listen to a story of persons who are positive. But what if you are jumping into everything with optimism and not giving yourself the benefit of doubt? You may lose so much when you are not counting the risks and saying enough “No.”

9. You are rebellious

You are not okay with the status quo. You like to rebel and try something disruptive. Whether it is to gain attention or to win acceptance, you will always go out of the conventional into the unconventional.

10. You are shy

Many people will view shyness as a weakness. But with being shy comes the strength of being conservative and reflective. You are also observant and a better listener.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

Master These 15 Skills for Success to Get Ahead in Your Career 15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People Follow This Simple Success Formula to Stop Feeling Stuck in Life 8 Powerful Traits of Incredibly Successful Entrepreneurs Around the World 20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

Trending in Communication

1 The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach 2 How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home 3 Building Relationships: 11 Rules for Self-Promotion 4 18 Ways to Have Effective Communication in the Workplace 5 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Very Best Version of You

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

Advertising

Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

Advertising

Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

Advertising

Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

Advertising

Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

Read Next