Advertising
Advertising

10 Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People (and 5 Pieces of Helpful Advice)

10 Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People (and 5 Pieces of Helpful Advice)

In today’s fast-paced, mega-digital world, any information we’re given about highly sensitive people tends to be negatively focused — things like “here is why they are so stressed,” and “here’s how they can cope with stress.” However, the trait of high sensitivity is not necessarily a bad one. In fact, it’s a rare strength that can be molded to help you navigate the world with intense inner power.

So if you are a highly sensitive person, don’t fret. There are more opportunities than ever out there to help you learn how to nurture your sensitivity. Here are 10 common characteristics — both positive and negative — that may sound familiar if you are a highly sensitive person.

1. You need time alone — lots of it

While this is a common trait for most introverts, needing extra time to yourself is especially true of highly sensitive people. Whether you’ve just conquered another long day at work or a night out with friends, the idea of immediately moving on to another social activity is usually out of the question.

Tip 1: The most important thing to do if you need more downtime is not to resist those feelings! Don’t pressure yourself to pack your schedule and don’t let others talk you into things. Everyone has different needs, and those around you should be respectful of that.

Advertising

2. You regularly have “meltdowns”

This is only true for those highly sensitive people who have yet to find healthy ways of accommodating their sensitivity. Let’s just say it wouldn’t be strange for these people to break down in tears over a mildly heartwarming commercial, or throw a tantrum when they drop a fork in the kitchen.

Tip 2: If feeling overwhelmed is your norm, that’s not normal. Try adopting a “venting” practice, like writing to clear excess mental clutter, or participating in a fun vigorous exercise to blow off steam. Simply letting yourself cry is enough to lower cortisol levels and bring you back to balance.

3. You don’t get uncomfortable when people get emotional or honest

Maybe you’re the only one at your workplace who doesn’t awkwardly tiptoe away when a coworker is sobbing over a breakup. Instead, you’ll probably console them. What’s the big deal? In your opinion, they seem to be handling it rather well.

4. You often end up in situations “by accident”

As a highly sensitive person, it’s easy for you to empathize and put yourself into someone else’s shoes — sometimes quite literally. Highly sensitive people shouldn’t be surprised to find themselves refereeing friends’ arguments or going too far to solve problems for other people.

Advertising

Tip 3: Learn how to harness your intentions and recall what matters. It may take some deliberate practice to not let others steamroll your short-term and long-term plans. Practice recognizing the difference between your priorities and those of others.

5. Your emotional life is rich and colorful

This isn’t something that you’ve cultivated on purpose. Rather, you seem to experience far more emotion than the average person does without even trying. By the time you’ve had breakfast each morning, a handful of feelings, epiphanies, and ambitions have probably already inched across your mind.

6. You become sick easily and often

This can occur in two ways. First, it’s easier for highly sensitive people to wear themselves out with common stressors, thus lowering their immune system and contributing to illness. Second, this can manifest itself through immediate experience. For instance, you might faint at the sight of blood or feel nauseous after witnessing a violent scene on TV.

Tip 4: If you feel you are sick more often than normal, it may be time to implement lifestyle changes and minimize contact with draining people and activities. Chronic illness stems from chronic habits.

Advertising

7. You are powerfully affected by the feelings of others

Have you ever hung out with a friend who was absolutely miserable and still had a great time? Didn’t think so. Generally, highly sensitive people tend to absorb the energy of those close to them. This is great when the energy is positive, but not so much fun when it’s all negative.

8. You are conscientious and sometimes work too hard

Highly sensitive people often have a great deal of mental energy and intelligence. Combine these components and it’s easy to see how they can get in over their head. With sensitive nervous systems, highly sensitive people can develop adrenal burnout and fatigue before they even realize it’s happening.

Tip 5: Being a hard worker is rarely regarded as a bad trait, but it can be taken to an extreme. Getting a deep sleep, not an interrupted sleep, can make a massive difference when it comes to burnout. Learning what happens when your brain doesn’t get enough sleep should serve as quite the motivator.

9. You are a tad bit psychic

This is a trait frequently coupled with high sensitivity. The belief is that highly sensitive people have a closer connection with their intuition or gut instincts. Sometimes, this literally enables them to predict future events or avert disasters because something “just didn’t feel right.”

Advertising

10. You love animals and they love you back

Many people love animals, but highly sensitive people often have a deep, unspoken understanding of them. It wouldn’t be uncommon to see a highly sensitive person in the corner of a crowded party, having a blast with the sole canine guest. Pets can sense this too, cozying up to them right from the first meeting.

Featured photo credit: Stokpic via stokpic.com

More by this author

tackling self esteem One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem banksy street art 15 Life Lessons From Banksy Street Art That Will Leave You Lost For Words self-improvement books 25 Self-Improvement Books That Will Make You A Better Person stick new habit 4 Reasons You Just Can’t Stick With A New Habit 8 Fall-Themed Wedding Favors to Delight Your Guests

Trending in Communication

1 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It) 2 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 3 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 4 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 5 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

Advertising

1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

Advertising

If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

Advertising

6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

Advertising

In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

Read Next