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10 Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People (and 5 Pieces of Helpful Advice)

10 Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People (and 5 Pieces of Helpful Advice)

In today’s fast-paced, mega-digital world, any information we’re given about highly sensitive people tends to be negatively focused — things like “here is why they are so stressed,” and “here’s how they can cope with stress.” However, the trait of high sensitivity is not necessarily a bad one. In fact, it’s a rare strength that can be molded to help you navigate the world with intense inner power.

So if you are a highly sensitive person, don’t fret. There are more opportunities than ever out there to help you learn how to nurture your sensitivity. Here are 10 common characteristics — both positive and negative — that may sound familiar if you are a highly sensitive person.

1. You need time alone — lots of it

While this is a common trait for most introverts, needing extra time to yourself is especially true of highly sensitive people. Whether you’ve just conquered another long day at work or a night out with friends, the idea of immediately moving on to another social activity is usually out of the question.

Tip 1: The most important thing to do if you need more downtime is not to resist those feelings! Don’t pressure yourself to pack your schedule and don’t let others talk you into things. Everyone has different needs, and those around you should be respectful of that.

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2. You regularly have “meltdowns”

This is only true for those highly sensitive people who have yet to find healthy ways of accommodating their sensitivity. Let’s just say it wouldn’t be strange for these people to break down in tears over a mildly heartwarming commercial, or throw a tantrum when they drop a fork in the kitchen.

Tip 2: If feeling overwhelmed is your norm, that’s not normal. Try adopting a “venting” practice, like writing to clear excess mental clutter, or participating in a fun vigorous exercise to blow off steam. Simply letting yourself cry is enough to lower cortisol levels and bring you back to balance.

3. You don’t get uncomfortable when people get emotional or honest

Maybe you’re the only one at your workplace who doesn’t awkwardly tiptoe away when a coworker is sobbing over a breakup. Instead, you’ll probably console them. What’s the big deal? In your opinion, they seem to be handling it rather well.

4. You often end up in situations “by accident”

As a highly sensitive person, it’s easy for you to empathize and put yourself into someone else’s shoes — sometimes quite literally. Highly sensitive people shouldn’t be surprised to find themselves refereeing friends’ arguments or going too far to solve problems for other people.

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Tip 3: Learn how to harness your intentions and recall what matters. It may take some deliberate practice to not let others steamroll your short-term and long-term plans. Practice recognizing the difference between your priorities and those of others.

5. Your emotional life is rich and colorful

This isn’t something that you’ve cultivated on purpose. Rather, you seem to experience far more emotion than the average person does without even trying. By the time you’ve had breakfast each morning, a handful of feelings, epiphanies, and ambitions have probably already inched across your mind.

6. You become sick easily and often

This can occur in two ways. First, it’s easier for highly sensitive people to wear themselves out with common stressors, thus lowering their immune system and contributing to illness. Second, this can manifest itself through immediate experience. For instance, you might faint at the sight of blood or feel nauseous after witnessing a violent scene on TV.

Tip 4: If you feel you are sick more often than normal, it may be time to implement lifestyle changes and minimize contact with draining people and activities. Chronic illness stems from chronic habits.

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7. You are powerfully affected by the feelings of others

Have you ever hung out with a friend who was absolutely miserable and still had a great time? Didn’t think so. Generally, highly sensitive people tend to absorb the energy of those close to them. This is great when the energy is positive, but not so much fun when it’s all negative.

8. You are conscientious and sometimes work too hard

Highly sensitive people often have a great deal of mental energy and intelligence. Combine these components and it’s easy to see how they can get in over their head. With sensitive nervous systems, highly sensitive people can develop adrenal burnout and fatigue before they even realize it’s happening.

Tip 5: Being a hard worker is rarely regarded as a bad trait, but it can be taken to an extreme. Getting a deep sleep, not an interrupted sleep, can make a massive difference when it comes to burnout. Learning what happens when your brain doesn’t get enough sleep should serve as quite the motivator.

9. You are a tad bit psychic

This is a trait frequently coupled with high sensitivity. The belief is that highly sensitive people have a closer connection with their intuition or gut instincts. Sometimes, this literally enables them to predict future events or avert disasters because something “just didn’t feel right.”

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10. You love animals and they love you back

Many people love animals, but highly sensitive people often have a deep, unspoken understanding of them. It wouldn’t be uncommon to see a highly sensitive person in the corner of a crowded party, having a blast with the sole canine guest. Pets can sense this too, cozying up to them right from the first meeting.

Featured photo credit: Stokpic via stokpic.com

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

More Tips Improving Listening Skills

Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

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